Hi. I'm Kayra (23). I've been identifying as a non binary since high school. For the last 1.5 months, I've been questioning if I'm a woman. I sometimes get euphoria when I imagine myself in a female body but sometimes I don't get euphoria. I get euphoria when I'm addressed as she, but not always feeling euphoric when imagining I'm a woman makes me doubt it.

I noticed I feel numb towards myself and I've learned that that's a type of dysphoria. I experience some other signs of dysphoria too but it's not really painful. I know dysphoria can occur as different things but I just can't be sure because it's not pain all the time. I think somethings not right but it feels like a big decision to say to myself I'm a woman. I wish the signs were clearer. How was your questioning experience like? Is it normal to not always get euphoria when imagining you're of other gender?

Hello Kayra,

I'm Lori Dee. Welcome to Susan's Place!

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@thefallenhuman
@Sarah B
@Northern Star Girl

Welcome Kayra!

Look for the official welcoming team to arrive shortly, in fact, they may be here for you before I post my message.  In the meantime, and afterwards, please enjoy exploring Susan's.

I have euphoria when treated as a woman.  A good gender therapist can help you obtain some clarity on the gender identity thoughts and feelings that you have experienced. 

Chrissy

Hello Kayra

My name is Sarah and I would also like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

I see that other members of Susan's have also welcomed you as well.

You mentioned the following:

Quote from: thefallenhuman on January 03, 2025, 05:17:01 PMHi.  I'm Kayra (23).  I've been identifying as a non binary since high school.  For the last 1.5 months, I've been questioning if I'm a woman.  I sometimes get euphoria when I imagine myself in a female body but sometimes I don't get euphoria.  I get euphoria when I'm addressed as she, but not always feeling euphoric when imagining I'm a woman makes me doubt it.

I noticed I feel numb towards myself and I've learned that that's a type of dysphoria.  I experience some other signs of dysphoria too but it's not really painful.  I know dysphoria can occur as different things but I just can't be sure because it's not pain all the time.  I think somethings not right but it feels like a big decision to say to myself I'm a woman.  I wish the signs were clearer.  How was your questioning experience like? Is it normal to not always get euphoria when imagining you're of other gender?

First, I want to reassure you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the thoughts and feelings you're experiencing.  Many people question their gender identity at different points in their lives, and it's completely valid to explore what feels right for you.

It's also perfectly normal to experience moments of euphoria when imagining yourself in a female body or being addressed as "she" while other moments may feel neutral or uncertain.  Gender identity and feelings of euphoria or dysphoria aren't always constant.  For example, I've felt euphoric when someone treated me as female, like a gentleman holding the door open, but there were other times when it wasn't practical or didn't trigger the same feelings.  That doesn't make your experiences less valid.

You might also want to consider speaking with a specialist, such as a psychologist, psychiatrist, or counsellor, who is experienced in gender issues and practices 'informed consent.' They can help you navigate your feelings in a supportive and non-judgmental way.

Looking back at your past can sometimes provide clues as well.  Reflecting on any memories where you felt connected to being a girl can be helpful.  These experiences, no matter how small, are valid and may help you better understand yourself.

I've had similar thoughts and feelings in the past, like not wanting my voice to break or wishing I had breasts.  Dressing as female and growing my hair long were things I enjoyed, but none of those desires ever caused me distress or gender dysphoria.  Everyone's experience is different, and it's okay to take time to figure out what feels right for you.

It sounds like you're in a thoughtful stage of exploring your identity, and that's a brave and important step.  Take your time, ask questions, and don't be afraid to reach out for support.  We're here to listen and help whenever you need it!

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the other forums and threads.   I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these issues as well.

Take care and I wish you all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Devlyn  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah  @Northern Star Girl  @Lori Dee
@thefallenhuman

Quote from: thefallenhuman on January 03, 2025, 05:17:01 PMHi. I'm Kayra (23). I've been identifying as a non binary since high school. For the last 1.5 months, I've been questioning if I'm a woman. I sometimes get euphoria when I imagine myself in a female body but sometimes I don't get euphoria. I get euphoria when I'm addressed as she, but not always feeling euphoric when imagining I'm a woman makes me doubt it.

I noticed I feel numb towards myself and I've learned that that's a type of dysphoria. I experience some other signs of dysphoria too but it's not really painful. I know dysphoria can occur as different things but I just can't be sure because it's not pain all the time. I think somethings not right but it feels like a big decision to say to myself I'm a woman. I wish the signs were clearer. How was your questioning experience like? Is it normal to not always get euphoria when imagining you're of other gender?

Not everyone experiences extreme dysphoria. And I do not experience it constantly. Our subconscious mind senses that something isn't right, but it is very easy sometimes to get busy doing something and not think about it. When I was younger, I experienced it occasionally, but only when something triggered it. That same thing did not always trigger it, so sometimes I could ignore it.

As I got older, it bothered me more and more. I didn't know what it was or what it was called, I just knew that I was unhappy. If you have read my story (linked below in my signature), I didn't learn what it was until after I retired. I started with therapy to try to figure out what was wrong with me, and why I was never happy. When I got the diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria, I didn't believe it.

I spent about two years in therapy just learning what gender dysphoria is, and what it is not. As my Psychologist explained these things, I began to see connections between how I felt, my behaviors, my relationships, and how it affected everything.

Once I understood that this is who I am, I embraced it. I decided to start my transition right away. And I can tell you that it has not been easy, but I have never been happier in my entire life.

I am a retired hypnotherapist, and I agree with Sarah B that finding a therapist or psychologist with experience in gender identities can be a BIG help. It does not mean there is anything wrong with you. It does not mean you are transgender and certainly does not mean you need to transition. The purpose is for you to get answers to your questions.

Yes, what you are experiencing is normal. But a therapist can help you understand WHY you feel the way you do. It is just information. Then you can decide how you want to live your life. Being able to make that kind of informed decision is priceless.

Let us know how it goes. We will be here to help in any way we can.

Thank you all for the welcoming and the guidance. I will introduce myself on the introduction section since I feel like I'll be here often.

Love,

Kayra

@Lori Dee @Sarah B @ChrissyRyan

Quote from: thefallenhuman on January 03, 2025, 05:17:01 PMI get euphoria when I'm addressed as she, but not always feeling euphoric when imagining I'm a woman makes me doubt it.

If I can make an observation, sweetie... I suspect that has a lot to do with how you feel at the time. Rather than who you are or aren't. I would venture most people don't feel euphoria when treated as who they are. I suppose because most people get that all the time and don't really think about it.

Unless they're in a situation where they're going through not being treated as who they are, you know? Otherwise, it's just a thing. When you feel comfortable expressing yourself, then you aren't fighting against forces which try to stop you doing that. So when you're in that frame of mind, it's natural. But when you feel trapped in a cage, and someone gives you a key to the lock on the door... you feel elated.

I don't think it's a cause for doubt necessarily. I think you need to pay attention to when these feelings happen. What you are doing at the time. What your state of mind is.