You are VERY pretty.  Both portraits are terrific.  I probably would have picked the first one also.


Chrissy

A while back, Susan did a Progression Photo Album. It inspired me to do one too.

If you have enough old photos that you don't mind sharing, you could do one too. You had posted some earlier photos pre-transition and to see the progress that you have made is inspiring. Not only for others but for you to look back on and sing, "You've Come A Long Way, Baby!"

Here is mine if you want to see what we did.
https://imgur.com/a/progression-story-of-lori-photo-journey-AEZXBWe

From left to right my middle sister, my youngest sister, my Dad, me just started hrt. This was an awesome province we were at called Montenerodomo. My Gradfather was born there.
My dad, middle sister, youngest sister, me and my Mom.


From left to right me, my youngest sister and my middle sister.


Basically I'm pretty much the same build as my Mom. Shorter than my youngest sister and taller than my middle sister.

My sister will not do anything to me. She is snippy but not physical. As kids she used to make fun of me for not having friends.

Her husband I'm not so sure about but I wouldn't go anywhere alone with him anyways. I think he is a bigot. I think he is also upset that he thought I was attractive. I'm sure it bruised his ego good.

My sister has had two kids. She has put on weight. I look younger than both my sisters and am in the best shape of all of us. Part of it might be that she doesn't like that I fit better into her old clothes now then she ever did and oh yes I have raided her closet. 

My figure is as best I figure a half answered prayer.

Quote from: Lilis on January 10, 2025, 07:55:34 PMNice, I can't imagine getting to 135 pounds myself.
~ Lilis

Believe it or not but 135 was my natural weight all through high school. I never actually bulked up in terms of muscle. In the photos in Italy I was maybe with the clothes and shoes on tipping the scale at 140 to 145. My body mass was mostly my stomach and legs.

One of your fine family pictures reminds me of a half scale replica of the famous Leaning Tower of Pisa.  This replica is at 6300 W. Touhy in Niles, Illinois, a Chicago suburb.  Information can be found online about it.  I think it is free to visit the outside of it from ground level.

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on January 10, 2025, 10:36:01 PMOne of your fine family pictures reminds me of a half scale replica of the famous Leaning Tower of Pisa.  This replica is at 6300 W. Touhy in Niles, Illinois, a Chicago suburb.  Information can be found online about it.  I think it is free to visit the outside of it from ground level.

Oh cool I didn't know we have a replica over here. This was the actual one though. Of course the tower wasn't the only thing leaning there. Literally everything is leaning to some extent. It's crazy to think the tower is still even standing.

I'm reposting this from another thread because it touches on events I was talking about yesterday in more detail.

For context on why I did what I did with my sisters husband. No I wasn't trying to seduce him although I made an impact because I heard him tell my sister that he never would have known and no I'm not gay while I was in the room next to theirs unpacking my stuff. I was mad and utterly intent in humiliating him so I hit him in the bigotry.

Ok on with the repost

The toughest on going thing? Acceptance from one of my sisters.

This is the sister that when I was down there one time I got dragged into a therapy session with the whole family and she told me I was ruining her life because she didn't think anyone would marry her if she had a trans person as a brother.

When she was getting married she invited my youngest sister into the bridal party but she didn't invite me. I got the regular invitation. I asked her why and she said very hurtful things so I refused to go.

When I was visiting my parents for Christmas I remember meeting her husband for the first time.

My mom asked me not to wear a dress before I got there so I wouldn't upset my sister. So what did I do? I showed up in my Victoria Secret purple strapless dress a matching heels to accent my ankles with my hair in a French Twist. I figured screw my sister. This dress has always been a favorite of mine because it gives a nice view of cleavage and with the right pushed bra looks amazing.

I got her husbands attention right away and was as girly as possible before my sister was in the house. He didn't even know who I was but he was and assumed I was a friend of the family visiting. I was still mad about being snubbed by them. When my Mom introduced him to me formally and he realized who I was he looked at my high school photo of me in my uniform from NJROTC and the switch flipped. It didn't matter that I pass visually and have a feminine voice. I hate that damn photo! But at least there it was no hiding it and acting all polite while making snide comments behind my back anymore.

Thankfully I don't  live in Georgia and I am stealth so I mostly just deal with glass ceiling and mansplaining issues but it sucks going down to visit my parents and having to act like I don't hate my sisters guts around my parents.

My sisters in laws are more accepting although the probing questions for a few hours when we first met. Did you have surgery on the face? No. How is that possible you look like a girl? How are you speaking like a girl? Don't still have your ... well you know?

It really made me feel like a lab rat but it ended with one of them saying you're not at all what I expected. When I asked what she expected she said a guy in a dress with a 5 o'clock shadow strutting around. Clearly my sister had done nothing to actually help me before hand.

Natalie,

Probably one of the highest recognitions that one is taken for granted to be a woman is when she is routinely thought of as a CIS female.  It is like "if you look like a duck, sound like a duck, walk like a duck, you are a duck, what else could you possibly be?"

It is a shame that even in these total male fail situations, after some people find out the "backstory" of her being MTF, they keep their distance, withdraw, even are unfriendly, or worse.

I do not understand why your sister thought no one would marry her if they knew she has a sister who used to be her brother.  That seems extreme.   

Keep on sharing, you are a special person who has endured enough already. 

Separately though, we do remember all of our MTF "sisters" in the world who are going through a lot of pain, snubbing, hurtful comments, and non-acceptance.  Such happiness occurs when some or most of that goes away for us. We simply want to live our lives as the women we are.

Chrissy

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on January 11, 2025, 10:39:22 AMNatalie,

Probably one of the highest recognitions that one is taken for granted to be a woman is when she is routinely thought of as a CIS female.  It is like "if you look like a duck, sound like a duck, walk like a duck, you are a duck, what else could you possibly be?"

It is a shame that even in these total male fail situations, after some people find out the "backstory" of her being MTF, they keep their distance, withdraw, even are unfriendly, or worse.

I do not understand why your sister thought no one would marry her if they knew she has a sister who used to be her brother.  That seems extreme. 

Keep on sharing, you are a special person who has endured enough already. 

Separately though, we do remember all of our MTF "sisters" in the world who are going through a lot of pain, snubbing, hurtful comments, and non-acceptance.  Such happiness occurs when some or most of that goes away for us. We simply want to live our lives as the women we are.

Chrissy

She probably will never accept me. The irony that I have come to realize is the situation is a sisters spat. So I guess that in itself is validation.

Quote from: NatalieRene on December 08, 2024, 10:14:02 PM. . .

January 2011 1 year on hormones 4 months full time

I was settled into a routine at this point. Going to support groups. Friends in the evenings to go hang out with. I was actually starting to feel normal.

I got passed up for a promotion at work and I was feeling rejected so I started looking for a new job. I was the head programmer there and knew more of the process then anyone so why was I passed over for the literal new guy.

. . .

I believe I lost out too.  I do not want to take up much space here in your blog so let me just say that I can relate.  I do not have that issue now, that is a blessing.

Chrissy

Quote from: NatalieRene on January 11, 2025, 09:54:46 AMI'm reposting this from another thread because it touches on events I was talking about yesterday in more detail.

For context on why I did what I did with my sisters husband. No I wasn't trying to seduce him although I made an impact because I heard him tell my sister that he never would have known and no I'm not gay while I was in the room next to theirs unpacking my stuff. I was mad and utterly intent in humiliating him so I hit him in the bigotry.

Thank you for clarifying, Natalie. It sounds like you handled the situation well. However, from what you've shared, it seems he still hasn't recognized how harmful his biases are. Nonetheless, it was brave of you to stand up for yourself. Did taking that stand help you feel better?

Quote from: NatalieRene on January 11, 2025, 09:54:46 AMOk on with the repost

The toughest on going thing? Acceptance from one of my sisters.

This is the sister that when I was down there one time I got dragged into a therapy session with the whole family and she told me I was ruining her life because she didn't think anyone would marry her if she had a trans person as a brother.

When she was getting married she invited my youngest sister into the bridal party but she didn't invite me. I got the regular invitation. I asked her why and she said very hurtful things so I refused to go.

I think I understand now, and I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It's your middle sister and her husband, not your younger sister, who are causing you this distress, right? Either way, it's painful and heartbreaking. Hopefully, someday she will realize how wrong she is and how much she's missing out by not fully embracing you.

I can relate to what you're going through. My older brother and his family have similar biases due to their religious and other beliefs. God is no respecter of persons, yet he has a daughter, one of his three, who is a lesbian and married to another cisgender woman. My brother never told anyone about this, I only found out through family gossip on social media about my niece. I love my niece, but my brother continues to cling to his bigotry. Honestly, he seems like he was born to be a conservative Republican, he's always been this way.

Quote from: NatalieRene on January 11, 2025, 09:54:46 AMWhen I was visiting my parents for Christmas I remember meeting her husband for the first time.

My mom asked me not to wear a dress before I got there so I wouldn't upset my sister. So what did I do? I showed up in my Victoria Secret purple strapless dress a matching heels to accent my ankles with my hair in a French Twist. I figured screw my sister. This dress has always been a favorite of mine because it gives a nice view of cleavage and with the right pushed bra looks amazing.

Oh my god. Did you secretly snapped some pictures of his reaction when he saw you? 😄

Quote from: NatalieRene on January 11, 2025, 09:54:46 AMI got her husbands attention right away and was as girly as possible before my sister was in the house. He didn't even know who I was but he was and assumed I was a friend of the family visiting. I was still mad about being snubbed by them. When my Mom introduced him to me formally and he realized who I was he looked at my high school photo of me in my uniform from NJROTC and the switch flipped. It didn't matter that I pass visually and have a feminine voice. I hate that damn photo! But at least there it was no hiding it and acting all polite while making snide comments behind my back anymore.

Thankfully I don't  live in Georgia and I am stealth so I mostly just deal with glass ceiling and mansplaining issues but it sucks going down to visit my parents and having to act like I don't hate my sisters guts around my parents.

My sisters in laws are more accepting although the probing questions for a few hours when we first met. Did you have surgery on the face? No. How is that possible you look like a girl? How are you speaking like a girl? Don't still have your ... well you know?

It really made me feel like a lab rat but it ended with one of them saying you're not at all what I expected. When I asked what she expected she said a guy in a dress with a 5 o'clock shadow strutting around. Clearly my sister had done nothing to actually help me before hand.

It's unfortunate that your sister and her husband couldn't rise above their prejudices to support you. The way you described your sister's in-laws questioning also stood out to me. You don't have to endure being treated like a 'lab rat', don't label yourself like that. You are stronger than they, or even what you realize. I've read your other posts. You mention your are doing this for 14 years, that's a long time. Their inability to appreciate you speaks volumes about them, not you.

Keep shining, Natalie. ❤️

Quote from: Lilis on January 11, 2025, 04:22:39 PMThank you for clarifying, Natalie. It sounds like you handled the situation well. However, from what you've shared, it seems he still hasn't recognized how harmful his biases are. Nonetheless, it was brave of you to stand up for yourself. Did taking that stand help you feel better?

It increased my confidence. Up until he realized who I was he had this stupid grin on his face and a twinkle in his eye. I also noticed that he did take a long look at my breasts and I'm sure he wasn't sitting there thinking oh that's a nice necklace. In a stupid way it just confirmed for me that his only objection was that I was born male. Once I knew that his opinion meant exactly nothing to me.

Quote from: Lilis on January 11, 2025, 04:22:39 PMI think I understand now, and I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It's your middle sister and her husband, not your younger sister, who are causing you this distress, right? Either way, it's painful and heartbreaking. Hopefully, someday she will realize how wrong she is and how much she's missing out by not fully embracing you.

My middle sister is the one that is married and is the only one in my family that has not accepted me. My showing up in the dress was as much to ruffle her feathers as it was to mess with her husband. I refuse to walk on egg shells for her sake. If she doesn't like it she can leave.

Quote from: Lilis on January 11, 2025, 04:22:39 PMI can relate to what you're going through. My older brother and his family have similar biases due to their religious and other beliefs. God is no respecter of persons, yet he has a daughter, one of his three, who is a lesbian and married to another cisgender woman. My brother never told anyone about this, I only found out through family gossip on social media about my niece. I love my niece, but my brother continues to cling to his bigotry. Honestly, he seems like he was born to be a conservative Republican, he's always been this way.

Probably the same as my sister. She and her husband will have to sort out their beliefs on their own. I don't understand how they can understand ADD but not this medical condition. It's not any different. The brain is wired wrong. The brain and the soul are one thing and the body is something else. Obviously you cannot change the brain or the person but you can do what you can with the body. They being so hell bent on hating trans people because to them the body is the person flys in the face of Jesus' teachings. The body is nothing. It's shadows and dust.

So instead of being happy for me that I basically won the genetic lottery and lucked out to be able to pass as well as I do they just cling to but your XY. But frankly how do they know what I am? I haven't had a genetic test. For all I know I'm XXY but quite frankly what does it matter?

At least I think I got through to the in laws. Who knows maybe over time my sister and her husband might realize how ->-bleeped-<-ty they have been for the last ten years because I feel real sorry for my niece and nephew if god forbid one of them is trans.

Quote from: Lilis on January 11, 2025, 04:22:39 PMOh my god. Did you secretly snapped some pictures of his reaction when he saw you? 😄

Oh I wish I did but my purse was on the end table and he put up my jacket for me. My dress had exactly zero pockets. I can give you the mental image though. South Park the episode when Stan has the treehouse and plays truth or dare. The very end when Stan said dare that was him before and then the exclamation when he realized I was the oldest the what look when the dare was to put the stick up his dick pretty much summed his next look up.

Quote from: Lilis on January 11, 2025, 04:22:39 PMIt's unfortunate that your sister and her husband couldn't rise above their prejudices to support you. The way you described your sister's in-laws questioning also stood out to me. You don't have to endure being treated like a 'lab rat', don't label yourself like that. You are stronger than they, or even what you realize. I've read your other posts. You mention your are doing this for 14 years, that's a long time. Their inability to appreciate you speaks volumes about them, not you.

Keep shining, Natalie. ❤️

Thankfully that was only the first time I saw them. They all live down in Georgia so they really hadn't been exposed to a trans person before. I think some were in shock.

I hope they all come around and fully appreciate you.

Chrissy

Quote from: NatalieRene on January 11, 2025, 06:06:48 PMIt increased my confidence.

Awesome, you got this.

Quote from: NatalieRene on January 11, 2025, 06:06:48 PMMy middle sister is the one that is married and is the only one in my family that has not accepted me. My showing up in the dress was as much to ruffle her feathers as it was to mess with her husband. I refuse to walk on egg shells for her sake. If she doesn't like it she can leave.

Got, it makes sense now.

Quote from: NatalieRene on January 11, 2025, 06:06:48 PMProbably the same as my sister. She and her husband will have to sort out their beliefs on their own. I don't understand how they can understand ADD but not this medical condition. It's not any different. The brain is wired wrong. The brain and the soul are one thing and the body is something else. Obviously you cannot change the brain or the person but you can do what you can with the body. They being so hell bent on hating trans people because to them the body is the person flys in the face of Jesus' teachings. The body is nothing. It's shadows and dust.

So instead of being happy for me that I basically won the genetic lottery and lucked out to be able to pass as well as I do they just cling to but your XY. But frankly how do they know what I am? I haven't had a genetic test. For all I know I'm XXY but quite frankly what does it matter?

Yeah, it doesn't matter. I thought about getting that test for myself at one point, but now I don't really care. I agree the mindset in red states often seems different from that in blue states. That said, not everyone fits the mold. My younger brother is a Republican living in Ohio, like my older brother, but he's always been an ally. Interestingly, he doesn't have any LGBTQ+ kids, unlike my older brother. Meanwhile, my two sisters and I are in New York State, and life does seem a little better here compared to Ohio. I don't know some people seem unshakable in their beliefs, no matter how many facts or opposing viewpoints they're presented with.

Quote from: NatalieRene on January 11, 2025, 06:06:48 PMThey being so hell bent on hating trans people because to them the body is the person flys in the face of Jesus' teachings. The body is nothing. It's shadows and dust.

These are my beliefs as well. The Bible is clear in many places, teaching that God does not focus on outward appearance and encourages us to do the same for others. Instead, we are called to make righteous judgments and judge according to the deeds of the heart, for the flesh profits nothing.

Quote from: NatalieRene on January 11, 2025, 06:06:48 PMOh I wish I did but my purse was on the end table and he put up my jacket for me. My dress had exactly zero pockets. I can give you the mental image though. South Park the episode when Stan has the treehouse and plays truth or dare. The very end when Stan said dare that was him before and then the exclamation when he realized I was the oldest the what look when the dare was to put the stick up his dick pretty much summed his next look up.

Awesome 😄

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on January 11, 2025, 07:14:05 PMI hope they all come around and fully appreciate you.

Chrissy

Yeah exactly this, me too Chrissy. ❤️

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on January 11, 2025, 07:14:05 PMI hope they all come around and fully appreciate you.

Chrissy

Thank you Chrissy. I hope so. I'll be down there in May for my birthday. I'll extend the olive branch and make sure they know that they are welcome. If anything it will help their children to see I'm normal and not the boogy man I'm sure they have made me out to be to them.

Quote from: Lilis on January 11, 2025, 08:44:56 PMAwesome, you got this.
Got, it makes sense now.
Yeah, it doesn't matter. I thought about getting that test for myself at one point, but now I don't really care. I agree the mindset in red states often seems different from that in blue states. That said, not everyone fits the mold. My younger brother is a Republican living in Ohio, like my older brother, but he's always been an ally. Interestingly, he doesn't have any LGBTQ+ kids, unlike my older brother. Meanwhile, my two sisters and I are in New York State, and life does seem a little better here compared to Ohio. I don't know some people seem unshakable in their beliefs, no matter how many facts or opposing viewpoints they're presented with.
These are my beliefs as well. The Bible is clear in many places, teaching that God does not focus on outward appearance and encourages us to do the same for others. Instead, we are called to make righteous judgments and judge according to the deeds of the heart, for the flesh profits nothing.
Awesome 😄
Yeah exactly this, me too Chrissy. ❤️

I thought about getting the test too. But I realized it doesn't matter. Maybe I would have if it was a factor to get my birth certificate updated but thankfully I was born in California. If only I could afford to live there but my adopted state of Virginia has been good to me too.

You said how my facial structure is so perfect. I have a 34 inch chest, d cup, 18" shoulders (width not wrapped around), 41" hips, 30 inch waist. My arms from my elbows down palm forward don't go straight down, they angle away from me. My ring finger and index fingers are the same length. I had almost zero body hair. It's not the typical build for a guy.

Technically speaking I really should not have developed that way so the only thing I can conclude is maybe in this life God answered my constant prayers as much as possible

I didn't start hrt until just before my 29th birthday so I was well past the point where hrt would impact my skeletal structure. I just developed the way I developed.

I have often wondered if I'm intersex. It would explain that bizarre argument my mom made when she tried to talk me out of hrt. I haven't heard in anyone else's accounts of their parents response their parent saying to a mtf that they are worried they would be a man in a woman's body.

I always felt like if I took the test would it matter? It's not going to change who I am. It won't magically make things better. So why bother try to validate myself for anyone else.

Yes exactly. My sister keeps quoting the men should not lay down with men. But I'm not a man mentally. Physically it's a tough argument to call me a man either. I mean seriously oh let's check your chromosomes. Not the least of which some woman forced into the same test could find out oh shoot they are by that metric men also because people are analog. We are not digital. Yes predominantly people gravitate towards one or the other but it's not as simple as a binary switch dictating everything.

Wow, your measurements are truly noteworthy. I'm at a loss for words once again. Yeah, there's a lot going on there with your family. Hopefully, some day it's all figured out.

Please know that you're in my thoughts, and I'm praying for nothing but the best for you and your loved ones. Thank you, Natalie, for taking the time to answer all my questions.

@NatalieRene

Natalie,

You stated, "You said how my facial structure is so perfect. I have a 34 inch chest, d cup, 18" shoulders (width not wrapped around), 41" hips, 30 inch waist. My arms from my elbows down palm forward don't go straight down, they angle away from me. My ring finger and index fingers are the same length. I had almost zero body hair. It's not the typical build for a guy."


Wow I am momentarily so jelly.  I should not be jealous, as it not good to covet anything.

Your proportions are nice for sure.  How tall are you? 


Chrissy

Quote from: NatalieRene on January 11, 2025, 10:45:54 PMMy sister keeps quoting the men should not lay down with men.

I have two brothers who use this line too. It only proves they know nothing about gender or sexual preference. In my experience, those who rely on quoting scriptures do so because they are too mentally lazy to have an original thought. Minds are like parachutes; they only work when they are open.

I leave them with Galatians 3:28 to ponder.

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on January 12, 2025, 09:11:31 AMNatalie,

You stated, "You said how my facial structure is so perfect. I have a 34 inch chest, d cup, 18" shoulders (width not wrapped around), 41" hips, 30 inch waist. My arms from my elbows down palm forward don't go straight down, they angle away from me. My ring finger and index fingers are the same length. I had almost zero body hair. It's not the typical build for a guy."


Wow I am momentarily so jelly.  I should not be jealous, as it not good to covet anything.

Your proportions are nice for sure.  How tall are you? 


Chrissy

Closer to 5'10" then 5'9" but somewhere in between.

The boys locker room was hell in high school. One time I was told I had bigger breasts then their girlfriend.

Quote from: NatalieRene on January 12, 2025, 11:13:15 AMCloser to 5'10" then 5'9" but somewhere in between.

The boys locker room was hell in high school. One time I was told I had bigger breasts then their girlfriend.

I can imagine how this could have been a problem in high school.