Quote from: Jaimey on April 23, 2008, 06:23:21 PM
I confess I had Taco Hell for dinner and it was good.
I confess that last night I played six games of Laser Tag
and in one of many games of tasteless hilarity, I was on the Al-Qaeda team (now how long before they come busting through my door?) and in another, I was Chris Hanson hunting Pedo-Bear. 
Lul. Well... I confess that I feel numb. Its really creeping me out. My antidepressants have finally made life a bit more livable cause I can do art again, but the problem is that I was thinking of my dead friend when I was writing memorial for him, and I could barely cry. I WANTED to. I'm just as emotional before, estrogen or not. But I really wish I could just get it all out of me...
I also confess that I feel parasitic. I've gotten to the point of playing my moms game just so I can get into art school or college. I feel like I'm using her almost, but in all seriousness the other part of me is intensely angry at her for doing that crap before and failing at parenting lately with stuff that involves my familys future. My parents are like 2 year olds. If I stay another year here, I will go insane I think. I'm already losing it a little. I'll have dreams that are so realistic and in character for people, that I wake up questioning whether it ACTUALLY happened yesterday. My memory doesn't pick up what does not contrast, and every day behind me is clouded so much I wonder if my brain even records it. Its like I'm forgetting things as other things get forced in. Its like
mindrape, I hate it. I fear losing some of my old memories, because I despise numb disconnection from people and places I've loved.
I also confess that I'm starting to like my body more... I just have no idea how the world is gonna react.