GROUP HUG!

Quote from: Emma1017 on January 22, 2025, 05:21:28 AMReally well Chrissy. It's not perfect but as close as I need. Some of the students are starting to initiate conversations with me. That shows that they are starting to trust me. That means a lot to me.

I can't tell them I am transgender because my wife is afraid that they might share it in social media that might cross over to our friends and family. The internet is a small world.

I did tell two teachers who I have become friends with and trust to keep my secret. It is nice to have friends who know. It takes a little weight off my shoulders.

You always seem so sensible and grounded, Emma. FWIW I think you are pursuing a pragmatic course in not being completely open, especially with things as they are now. In an ideal world, people would be more tolerant, but your wife has stood by you and I'm right with you standing by her wish, because that's how good relationships work. More power to you and say hello to her from England and tell her I think she's a shining star in what can often be a dark firmament.

Sephirah and Lori thank you for the hugs.  They are never wasted and I really needed them now, so again a warm hug back.

Tanya thank you for your thoughts.  I have always thought of myself as sensible and grounded, with a touch of craziness to keep life entertaining but gender dysphoria threw a wrench into that world.  Dysphoria released the emotional Krakens.  I have a sense of vulnerability that I have never felt before. Many of us feel that way and you are right, the world has made being transgender even more vulnerable.

I think I am just tired of the endless transgender bigotry and attacks.  That, combined with my determination to compromise my transition to keep my relationship together is exhausting. 

I know that my wife would be deeply hurt if I were to come out among our family and friends. She is very tough but admits that she is not a "warrior". I know she would internally magnify the whisperings behind her back. I will not let that happen to her.

We all fight our own battles.  I just need a break.  I am hoping that my solo vacation in March does just that.  I'll have two days of fine British pubs in London to help the process.

Quote from: Emma1017 on February 01, 2025, 07:07:45 AMI think I am just tired of the endless transgender bigotry and attacks.  That, combined with my determination to compromise my transition to keep my relationship together is exhausting. 

All of us find it exhausting which is why somewhere like this is so therapeutic. A piece of silver lining about your relationship is if it works like mine does, the value of the relationship outweighs the downside of the compromise over transition if you use the right set of scales. Having someone who supports you to the point of sharing your lives can be an amazing way of reaching an inner point of balance where the rest of the world can go take a long walk off a short pier. Your relationship has to be that strong, it comes over again and again in your posts.

Tanya, I am so glad that you and your wife are still together.  You understand why I am fighting so hard for mine.

I feel very protective of her.  We lost our older son to leukemia and her dad, mother, and her only sibling, her sister to cancer.  I have seen the deep hurt in her eyes too many times to cause that to happen again. 

50% of American marriages end in divorce, 90% of marriages where a child is lost to leukemia, end in divorce, and 60% of marriages where a partner transitions, end in divorce.  We are beating the odds and that is worth whatever we do to stay together. 

We laugh and argue every day....we're happily married.    

Quote from: Emma1017 on February 01, 2025, 08:52:25 AMYou understand why I am fighting so hard for mine.

It's a balance, isn't it? Around me I see people fighting so hard for one thing they forget the value of other stuff that's just as precious. Good relationships are beyond price, yet I've seen people in our position trash them and get bit.

I remind my partner every day how important she is to me, partly to make sure I never take her for granted and partly to make her feel as valued as she is. I've been doing it for the best part of forty years and I'm not tiring of waking up to say it yet. Like you, there have been some arguments and some compromises, but if I had to walk the road over, I'd just say, 'When do we start?'

Tanya, I love this: "If I had to walk the road over, I'd just say, 'When do we start?'"and I totally agree with you.

You have to recognize the quality of your relationship and decide if it is worth saving and at what cost. This has been my process since gender dysphoria exploded into my life.  It has been a battle, but one well worth the effort.

Now if we can just get bigoted social politics out of our lives, life would improve substantially.

Quote from: Emma1017 on February 02, 2025, 07:21:53 AMNow if we can just get bigoted social politics out of our lives, life would improve substantially.

If only people were better at tolerating different behaviours and cultures, many of the planet's issues would vanish overnight, including the vitriol over trans.

I just read a fabulous piece about what happened when a man wore a particular piece of head wear a century and a half ago (or whatever). The editorials were outraged, women were reported to have fainted at the sight of him and for a while, the item was banned in Britain for causing so much distress.

What caused all this? It was the first time anyone had worn a top hat. Yet within a few decades, they had become a clothing standard for successful men attending social events.

It shows how crazy this stuff can be, but we've got to last out the fainting away bit yet :-) But we can talk to each other to stay sane the meantime.

Tanya, I agree.  Mob mania does burn out.  The question is "How long?" and "How many innocents are hurt in the process?" i.e. the witch trials and the Spanish Inquisition.

The US government has had a number of ugly periods, most recently, the McCarthy era in the 1950's.  I sincerely hope that rational thought begins to confront the current political agenda.

On a lighter side, comedians will have four years of fresh material.

Some good cartoons showed up on my FB feed, I see a cake shop in Denmark? are selling moron cakes that are orange and shaped like a certain person! Military coo anyone? Just joking

Davina I won't be able to eat anything orange for the next four years.

I couldn't resist.

This is why I call the dude Tango Tony...

Another post on FB, waiting for the McDonalds to work and a pic of a flat line heart monitor.

Trying hard not to watch the news.  They are doing a great job in report all the negative news they can find.  I have only a limited ability to absorb it.  I find that I need to clean out my "filters" more regularly.  The social manure is deep and thick.

Thankfully, there is more to life than the news.  It just just doesn't get the same amount of press time.

Staying with my dad's advice:  "Don't let the bullies win."

Ignore the BS as I recon it will hit the fan soon.

Have a nice weekend Emma! 

Enjoy a hot dog!  Go to the deli!   Get in a nice walk!

Hugs,

Chrissy

Davina I hope they turn the fans on high!  You couldn't get this script accepted even on the Cartoon Network.

Hey Chrissy.  We're expecting cold and snow.  That means heavier food. Tonight will be a local Polish restaurant, kielbasa and pierogis.  Tomorrow could be hot dogs and chicken wings for Super Bowl. Comfort food deluxe!

I hope you both are having a great weekend....and of course anyone else reading this blog!

Ummm, pierogis!

Yum, kielbasa!


Chrissy

Chrissy, it got even better last night.  My wife and I split the kielbasa, pierogis plus beef stroganoff, and two glasses of wine.  Then we got to walk home from the restaurant in the snow. 


It was a perfect winter night!

Yumm.

Just had some beef stroganoff. I tend to use more noodles than most with the sauce that has beef, mushrooms, etc. as it fills me up more than by using less noodles.

I have not had pierogis for a while.

I am glad you two had a nice meal and the pleasant walk.

Chrissy