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Wife of 44 years

Started by UUtransspouse, March 05, 2025, 02:47:11 PM

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UUtransspouse

March 05, 2025, 02:47:11 PM
I'm new here and trying to find out if anyone else has this demo: cis wife of 44 years (71 yrs. old) to a husband who just got diagnosed last year with gender dysphoria and didn't have outward signs previously. He/she/them now identify as non-binary and says he/she/they don't care about pronouns, which is confusing for me.

I'm a Unitarian Universalist so my knee-jerk reaction was to support him/her/them. Still it is an unexpected and unusual experience, so I'd like to share experiences with others in a similar situation. She has come out faster/sooner due to the whole Trump debacle.

I'm a Unitarian Universalist who's enrolled in a class called Transforming Hearts. Has anyone here taken that class?

Lori Dee

#1
March 05, 2025, 02:58:52 PM
Hi UU,

Thank you for that introduction.

I'm afraid that I don't have any experience in that area, however we have many members who were/are married while one spouse transitioned. We have an entire forum dedicated for Significant Others, so maybe someone there can identify with your situation.

As for pronoun preferences, from my own experience, I transitioned late in life (60+), so when I started, I really didn't care if I was misgendered. After all, I had been called "he/him" for sixty years, so I was rather used to it. I didn't have a pronoun preference, but that changed as my transition progressed. We have members here who are non-binary, and perhaps they can explain their pronoun preferences better than I can.
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tgirlamg

#2
March 05, 2025, 03:32:02 PM
Quote from: UUtransspouse on March 05, 2025, 02:47:11 PMI'm new here and trying to find out if anyone else has this demo: cis wife of 44 years (71 yrs. old) to a husband who just got diagnosed last year with gender dysphoria and didn't have outward signs previously. He/she/them now identify as non-binary and says he/she/they don't care about pronouns, which is confusing for me.

I'm a Unitarian Universalist so my knee-jerk reaction was to support him/her/them. Still it is an unexpected and unusual experience, so I'd like to share experiences with others in a similar situation. She has come out faster/sooner due to the whole Trump debacle.

I'm a Unitarian Universalist who's enrolled in a class called Transforming Hearts. Has anyone here taken that class?

Welcome Aboard Friend,

I would say your knee jerk reaction is a fine one indeed... loving support is always a good starting point in all matters!...

I wouldn't let lack of focus on pronouns give you any concern... We are all different and place our focus where it is most needed towards finding our way to finally being ourself... For some, pronouns may be far down or perhaps not even on the list... while it may be list item #1 for others

I have been invited to speak to members of the local UU Church, here in the Monterey, CA area, many times over the years and it has always been an immense pleasure... such welcoming people and a beautiful place!

All good things to you!

Onward!

Ashley 💕
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" ... Ralph Waldo Emerson 🌸

"The individual has always had to struggle from being overwhelmed by the tribe... But, no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself" ... Rudyard Kipling 🌸

Let go of the things that no longer serve you... Let go of the pretense of the false persona, it is not you... Let go of the armor that you have worn for a lifetime, to serve the expectations of others and, to protect the woman inside... She needs protection no longer.... She is tired of hiding and more courageous than you know... Let her prove that to you....Let her step out of the dark and feel the light upon her face.... amg🌸

Ashley's Corner: https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247549.0.html 🌻
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