I appreciate this community 100%

Which is why I feel ok posting this here. I'm M2F and just found out recently. I've never felt comfortable crossdressing, and don't know if i want crossdress until I feel like I am the me I want to be. I might be ok trying some make up or dressing androgynous until then, but until I actually start taking something to make me feel like me, I don't feel comfortable dressing that way. It makes me feel weird dressing that way while being a man. I'm a long haired bearded man. I've been called mam plenty of times, and have felt eletaed every time, but just don't feel comfortable being a man with a beard and going there. I plan on shaving the beard soon, but it's really made me like my smile more over the years. Thats why I've posted this in the cross dress talk because as I am, I don't feel comfortable dressing fem. But as I am, I'm confident rocking a kilt. I want to get rid of the beard and want to dress fem, but know I can't do it as I am.

Cheers,
Same_old_new_me
Still haven't decided what my new name is, but have been really landing on Ashe.

Edit on username bc I remember the mods told me periods between word make it a link

Edit even more: have you felt like you couldn't dress like you wanted to until you looked the way you wanted to?

I understand how you feel. I was never into cross-dressing. When I learned that I was transgender, I rejected it. After two years in therapy, I finally began to understand what being transgender meant, and I agreed to accept that this is who I am and started hormone treatment.

I did not start dressing femininely for a few months. My psychologist suggested I try the hormones for a couple of months to see how I felt. I felt great, so I continued. I grew my hair out and started shaving. (I hadn't shaved since 1990.) I bought a wig and started learning how to apply makeup. That is when I saw her in the mirror. For the first time, I recognized the reflection as me. It took a while before I bought female clothes and got brave enough to go outside my apartment. When I finally did, no one noticed.

My point is that everyone's journey is different. No timeline must be adhered to. Some people are okay without transitioning at all. And in this political climate, I suspect more will choose that route just for safety's sake. No checklist says you must do this or that.

Just be yourself. Whatever that means. Whatever that looks like. And if you want to change how you express yourself, that is ok too.

Thank you Lori Dee, I appreciate you responding. I agree with everything you said, from taking hormones, everyone's journey being different, to the political climate. ->-bleeped-<- is even harder now without all of the objects we put in our own way. That being said, love your profile, you're gorgeous, girl! I appreciate your inspiration. Maybe one day I can be there myself. I think that's why my user name matches my situation. I know who I am now but I'm just the same old new me.

Quote from: same.old.new.me on April 06, 2025, 10:42:29 AMThat being said, love your profile, you're gorgeous, girl!

So, not bad for a 67-year-old lady? 

Thanks, so much!   

67?!? I wouldn't have put you past 40!

Quote from: same.old.new.me on April 06, 2025, 11:22:15 AM67?!? I wouldn't have put you past 40!

Hi, Same Old New Me. Until a few years ago, all my cross dressing was done in the closet after making sure all the doors were locked. Until a few years ago, I, too, had a beard. I shaved it after unlocking all the doors and stepping out of my closet. I seldom wear a wig and never wear makeup. But I love to wear a flowing dress or a rippling skirt. For me, it's the feeling of comfort and authenticity I experience while going about my daily tasks (gardening, greenhouse and 400 trees that are always thirsty). I can't see myself while doing these things, so the wig and makeup seem extraneous. However, if I ever get brave enough to cross dress in public, I will be wearing lipstick, rouge and eyeshadow. And an auburn wig I really like.

Quote from: Lori Dee on April 06, 2025, 11:12:06 AMSo, not bad for a 67-year-old lady? 

Thanks, so much!   

OMG you look so fab .. no way you're 67!

Quote from: same.old.new.me on April 06, 2025, 01:05:44 AMhave you felt like you couldn't dress like you wanted to until you looked the way you wanted to?

Many of us experience the chicken and egg situation you're experiencing, so you're not alone!

One question you might ask yourself to resolve it would be, 'What is the new me I want to be?' Try writing it down in bullet points and be prepared to take several days over it.

If the answer to that one isn't clear, then you could ask, 'What am I not comfortable about with the existing me?'

That's likely complex and you've already given one clue that you don't like your smile as much when you don't have a beard as when you do. So you could also ask, 'What is it I don't like about my smile? Is there something I don't like about it, or is it something I think others don't like about it?'

I'm gonna chuck in a fourth question, which is, 'Given there's no difference between a dress and a kilt, why do I feel confident in a kilt but couldn't feel the same way when I was wearing a dress?'

Now for something back. Yes, I've felt I couldn't dress like I wanted to until I looked the way I wanted to and I've figured out my reason for that, but while I can share it, it'll almost certainly help you more and influence you less if you dig into why you've had that feeling.

Right now, the key will seem out of reach, but by getting to the stage you're at, you're closer than you could possibly imagine!