my first girlfriend broke up with me because she "didn't want people to think she was dating a girl"

my first kiss (not girlfriend) said "aughhh i'm not gay though" afterwards because even if she tries to assure me she sees me as a boy, she doesn't

i know that they're just stupid middle school relationships that don't mean anything, but it makes me wonder if anyone will ever love ME, despite me being transgender  or if anyone will ever actually view me as a boy in a relationship

It is reasonable to wonder about such things. But I can tell you that there are women out there who fall in love with their man, before or after they find out they are trans, and it doesn't matter. They love YOU. Not your body, not how you dress, but the person that you are. Just be yourself.

We have a forum for Significant Others where they tell their stories about their relationships, the issues they have overcome, and how they feel about their partner. Their stories are worth reading.

To quote one of the posts:

Guys that may read this.

We pick you because we love you. We love your hearts and minds. Bodies just give us something to touch and hug.
Also guy never forget to be a man

Jessica_Rose has also told us that she often wonders why her wife has stayed with her through transition and decades of marriage. Her response is "Because I love you."

Love is not about whether the person is a doctor, or a truck driver, an American, or a Spaniard. They love your heart, your mind, your sense of humor. These are things that are the inner part of you and cannot easily change. So do not worry about all the other stuff. Just be yourself and you will find someone who loves you for being you.

There is someone for everyone, honey.

Relationships that go south in early life can scar a person and make them afraid to love. During formative years people are desperate to fit in, and desperate to find out who they are. It's kind of a whole separate microcosm of life. Sadly it's one which affects people well into later life because the experiences they have get imprinted in a massively forceful fashion. Young people love and hate with all their heart. Because the world hasn't yet tempered them for life.

That being said, some people later in life are the same. The point is... don't judge the first 20 years of your life as a standard for the next 60. You'll be surprised how much it, you, and those around you change as you grow.

I get wanting a relationship where you're seen as...well you. In a place where everyone knows you as your birth gender and dead name it's hard to find that, but it will happen. It takes a lot of time and plenty of heartbreak, but it will happen. Just keep your head up and be who you are no matter what the people around you expect. Love ya bud

Good friends are hard to find.  It takes a mutual interest to continue these relationships.