Beautiful women of the forums, I need y'all's help. I'm not an overly romantic guy, but my girlfriend is. I need some advice on what women want from their romantic partner. Is there certain things that y'all like or don't like? What is a romantic gesture that y'all want your own partner to do? I'm afab but my knowledge of women doesn't go past the age of like 10, so I need as much help as possible. Thank you in advance amazing ladies.

Hugs
Adrian (The Dorky, Shy Dude) 😎

I would say honesty and affection.

I look at it this way: if you want to be her #1, then make sure she knows that she is your #1.

Her and my princess are my #1s always. I just want to do something romantic (I watched Say Anything last night) but I have absolutely no knowledge on what women like. Is chocolate and flowers still good or has that been overplayed by men who barely put in effort?

I was never really good in this department.  In 20 years of marriage,  I don't think I ever truly bought a gift that really made my wife really feel like Wow. Maybe she said so, but not really.  I think the best thing was a hand written note with some flowers one time with some gift certificates of things that I'd do for her. I was never really very romantic, I kind was one of those repressed guys. I found it hard to express that side of me. Sorry I  can't be of much help.

But I can suggest be open with  expressing your feelings as much as you can. This will go along ways.

Chocolate is always a winner with me! 

My ex specifically asked me not to get her flowers because they don't last very long. She wanted something that was going to be around for a long time. So I found a flat rock and I carved the words "I Love You" into it. I told her she will know it is always true because "it is carved in stone".

Jewelry is nice. It doesn't need to be fancy or expensive. If it is something she likes, she will like it more because it came from you.

The key is to find things that she likes and go with that. That means really listening to what she says and remember it. Then, not only is it something you gave from the heart but it also shows her that you do listen and she is heard. I think that tops the charts.

Quote from: Annaliese on April 24, 2025, 10:54:55 AMI was never really good in this department.  In 20 years of marriage,  I don't think I ever truly bought a gift that really made my wife really feel like Wow. Maybe she said so, but not really.  I think the best thing was a hand written note with some flowers one time with some gift certificates of things that I'd do for her. I was never really very romantic, I kind was one of those repressed guys. I found it hard to express that side of me. Sorry I  can't be of much help.

But I can suggest be open with  expressing your feelings as much as you can. This will go along ways.

Thanks girl. I'm the same way, but I'm working on becoming more romantic and open.

Quote from: Lori Dee on April 24, 2025, 12:03:09 PMChocolate is always a winner with me! 

My ex specifically asked me not to get her flowers because they don't last very long. She wanted something that was going to be around for a long time. So I found a flat rock and I carved the words "I Love You" into it. I told her she will know it is always true because "it is carved in stone".

Jewelry is nice. It doesn't need to be fancy or expensive. If it is something she likes, she will like it more because it came from you.

The key is to find things that she likes and go with that. That means really listening to what she says and remember it. Then, not only is it something you gave from the heart but it also shows her that you do listen and she is heard. I think that tops the charts.

Haha love the rock idea. I made her some crochet flowers and added my cologne to it because she always misses my scent when I'm gone. I don't know if she's really a jewelry person because she never really has any one.

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 12:09:53 PMI made her some crochet flowers and added my cologne to it because she always misses my scent when I'm gone.

That's a great idea! That's the kind of thing that works.

Does she not wear jewelry because of cost? Or the work that she does? Or sensitivity to metals, or leather, or fabric? Or is she just not into it?

The reason I asked is because I had a girlfriend (ages ago) who never wore jewelry. When I asked her, she said she doesn't have any. So I braided together some leather boot laces and made a bracelet for her. There was nothing romantic in the gesture or between us (just friends), but she loved it. By the end of the summer, she was wearing bracelets, ear rings and necklaces.

It wasn't that she didn't like them, she had just never had any. When she experienced wearing some, she found out that she really likes it.

Just an idea.

Quote from: Lori Dee on April 24, 2025, 12:45:38 PMDoes she not wear jewelry because of cost? Or the work that she does? Or sensitivity to metals, or leather, or fabric? Or is she just not into it?

Just an idea.

I think the cost. She likes silver jewelry (asked because I want to get her a promise ring and a necklace for her and her daughter), but she never treats herself to anything. She likes green, so I'm guessing an emerald would be good, but the only jewelry I have is my class ring and a necklace from my great grandmother that I got after her passing

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 10:13:02 AMI need some advice on what women want from their romantic partner.

Hey Adrian,

Whole books could be written about this. Since you're asking, I'll answer from the heart, not for every woman, but as me. As a romantic woman, I want to feel seen, cherished, and safe. I love emotional honesty, deep listening, and consistent presence. I'm not looking for perfection, just someone real, open, and willing to grow with me. What hurts most is emotional distance, inconsistency, and silence when things get hard. For me, romance isn't about money. It's about intention, the thought behind the action. A message that says, "I'm thinking of you," or just holding me when words and the world fall short.

It sounds like you're already doing the hardest part, asking questions, seeking to grow, and being brave enough to change.


~ Lilis 💗

I should preface this by saying I am probably more clingy than Spiderman's underpants, and more high maintenance than a Saharan flower garden. Think Kathy Bates in "Misery", crossed with Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction", with a dash of Kristanna Loken in "Terminator 3". So in my case what I'm about to say may result in bodily injury or stewed household pets, with a slight chance of global domination.

To expand on this a little:

Quote from: Lori Dee on April 24, 2025, 12:03:09 PMThe key is to find things that she likes and go with that. That means really listening to what she says and remember it. Then, not only is it something you gave from the heart but it also shows her that you do listen and she is heard. I think that tops the charts.

I am someone who isn't really into "stuff". And I can't stand chocolate. For me it's about memories. Things we do together that you can look back on and be like "Can you remember when we...?" To that end, pay attention to things she likes to do. Books she likes to read or her favourite movies. Things she's interested in. And make an effort to be into them, too. Even if she knows you clearly aren't, the gesture is enough.

Little things like a hot bubblebath surrounded by scented candles with a shoulder massage. Or a trip to somewhere she likes to go. Things you can make memories from together. That would be my jam. But we are all different. As Lori says, the important thing is to keep a sort of mental notebook and pay attention to what she says.

Quote from: Lilis on April 24, 2025, 02:00:43 PMHey Adrian,

Whole books could be written about this. Since you're asking, I'll answer from the heart, not for every woman, but as me. As a romantic woman, I want to feel seen, cherished, and safe. I love emotional honesty, deep listening, and consistent presence. I'm not looking for perfection, just someone real, open, and willing to grow with me. What hurts most is emotional distance, inconsistency, and silence when things get hard. For me, romance isn't about money. It's about intention, the thought behind the action. A message that says, "I'm thinking of you," or just holding me when words and the world fall short.

It sounds like you're already doing the hardest part, asking questions, seeking to grow, and being brave enough to change.


~ Lilis 💗

That makes sense. Taking from what you and others said, it seems like the common theme among women is just being there.
I hope I'm there enough for her, but I also want to do little things.

Quote from: Sephirah on April 24, 2025, 02:06:00 PMI should preface this by saying I am probably more clingy than Spiderman's underpants, and more high maintenance than a Saharan flower garden. Think Kathy Bates in "Misery", crossed with Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction", with a dash of Kristanna Loken in "Terminator 3". So in my case what I'm about to say may result in bodily injury or stewed household pets, with a slight chance of global domination.

To expand on this a little:

I am someone who isn't really into "stuff". And I can't stand chocolate. For me it's about memories. Things we do together that you can look back on and be like "Can you remember when we...?" To that end, pay attention to things she likes to do. Books she likes to read or her favourite movies. Things she's interested in. And make an effort to be into them, too. Even if she knows you clearly aren't, the gesture is enough.

Little things like a hot bubblebath surrounded by scented candles with a shoulder massage. Or a trip to somewhere she likes to go. Things you can make memories from together. That would be my jam. But we are all different. As Lori says, the important thing is to keep a sort of mental notebook and pay attention to what she says.

I want to have shared memories like this, but she's so guarded. She never tells me what she enjoys, even when I practically bug her about it. She is a very headstrong, stubborn woman who doesn't like when I spend money on her.

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 02:14:18 PMI want to have shared memories like this, but she's so guarded. She never tells me what she enjoys, even when I practically bug her about it. She is a very headstrong, stubborn woman who doesn't like when I spend money on her.

Then just be there for her, sweetie, and let her see that it's safe to let her guard down with you. That you won't hurt her and it's okay for her to be herself. The rest will come later. Just listen to her. The worst thing you can do with people who have a lot of walls up is to try to get them to break those walls down on any schedule other than their own. It doesn't work that way.

Give her safety, security, and love. And the knowledge that you'll always be there no matter what. The rest will follow in time. *hugs*

Quote from: Sephirah on April 24, 2025, 02:17:21 PMThen just be there for her, sweetie, and let her see that it's safe to let her guard down with you. That you won't hurt her and it's okay for her to be herself. The rest will come later. Just listen to her. The worst thing you can do with people who have a lot of walls up is to try to get them to break those walls down on any schedule other than their own. It doesn't work that way.

Give her safety, security, and love. And the knowledge that you'll always be there no matter what. The rest will follow in time. *hugs*

Well damn. I hadn't realized that me and my gf were really similar until you put it like that, but you're right.

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 02:20:27 PMWell damn. I hadn't realized that me and my gf were really similar until you put it like that, but you're right.

You're definitely not alone in that, Adrian. A lot of people are going through a lot of stuff and sometimes don't realise they're shutting themselves off. Or sometimes they do. Mostly it just takes time, and knowing someone is there for you.

You got this. Both of you. <3

Quote from: Sephirah on April 24, 2025, 02:22:23 PMYou're definitely not alone in that, Adrian. A lot of people are going through a lot of stuff and sometimes don't realise they're shutting themselves off. Or sometimes they do. Mostly it just takes time, and knowing someone is there for you.

You got this. Both of you. <3

Thanks, Seph (sorry, random nickname ik) Hopefully it'll work out because I do love her, I'm just... stressed out I guess. I don't really know, life is just a lot rn

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 02:25:21 PMThanks, Seph (sorry, random nickname ik) Hopefully it'll work out because I do love her, I'm just... stressed out I guess. I don't really know, life is just a lot rn

Haha, I quite like Seph.

It's okay, Adrian. Really. You have everyone here if you need to talk or vent or stuff. Just shoot a PM if you need to let off steam. The most important thing is you have each other. That's the best place to work from, whatever each of you is dealing with. Dealing with it together is better than dealing with it alone. And hell you basically just adopted a giant family to help you through stuff.

It'll be okay. *hugs*

Quote from: Sephirah on April 24, 2025, 02:29:10 PMHaha, I quite like Seph.

It's okay, Adrian. Really. You have everyone here if you need to talk or vent or stuff. Just shoot a PM if you need to let off steam. The most important thing is you have each other. That's the best place to work from, whatever each of you is dealing with. Dealing with it together is better than dealing with it alone. And hell you basically just adopted a giant family to help you through stuff.

It'll be okay. *hugs*

Yeah, I guess I kinda did adopt a giant family. But hell this family is full of women (love it tho), sounds like my Mexican family. Sadly, me and my girlfriend don't really communicate much. I try, but I don't really know how to communicate to someone in front of me, much less a romantic partner. I'm still getting rid of the "be seen, not heard" mindset. And then Lord knows my family would have a whole discussion about being grateful if I so much as say I'm stressed. But yeah

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 02:37:57 PMI try, but I don't really know how to communicate to someone in front of me, much less a romantic partner. I'm still getting rid of the "be seen, not heard" mindset.

No need to say anything. Just be there. Small gestures, like a hug, touching her hand, or crocheted flowers, speak much louder.

You got this, bro!