Due to a family emergency, we need to go visit my wife's family in a very transphobic part of the world next week. Pema will have to be protected inside of <male_name> again for a while. We'll be staying in a rental, so at least I can wear and be what and who I want in the mornings and evenings.

I don't feel awful about it. This is an important event in our life together. It's truly a miniscule sacrifice for me to make, especially after 61 years of being "him" and only 4 months of learning to being me.

@flowers_and_trees
Dear Pema:
Many that are in the transition journey have had to make personal decisions regarding relapsing
and reverting to their previous gender appearance for various events as you described. 
Eventually that kind of thing will not be happening in your journey when achieving full-time
status and have found the acceptance that is possible from those that are important to you.

For now, you have to make those difficult decisions and appearances as you deem necessary.

I am wishing you success as you continue on.

Warmly, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

Quote from: flowers_and_trees on April 30, 2025, 01:03:38 PMDue to a family emergency, we need to go visit my wife's family in a very transphobic part of the world next week. Pema will have to be protected inside of <male_name> again for a while. We'll be staying in a rental, so at least I can wear and be what and who I want in the mornings and evenings.

I don't feel awful about it. This is an important event in our life together. It's truly a miniscule sacrifice for me to make, especially after 61 years of being "him" and only 4 months of learning to being me.

Thank you, Danielle. I know it's just a necessity and not that big a deal. My wife was in tears today saying she was so sorry I had to go through it and that she hates it for me. It may be harder on her than me. I know we'll get through it just fine.

Quote from: flowers_and_trees on April 30, 2025, 05:40:11 PMThank you, Danielle. I know it's just a necessity and not that big a deal. My wife was in tears today saying she was so sorry I had to go through it and that she hates it for me. It may be harder on her than me. I know we'll get through it just fine.

She gets you.
She is a keeper. 

Quote from: Lori Dee on April 30, 2025, 05:45:45 PMShe gets you.
She is a keeper. 

You are absolutely right, Lori Dee - which is exactly why there was no way I was going to let her go alone to see her mother for what may be the last time.

Quote from: flowers_and_trees on April 30, 2025, 01:03:38 PMDue to a family emergency, we need to go visit my wife's family in a very transphobic part of the world next week. Pema will have to be protected inside of <male_name> again for a while. We'll be staying in a rental, so at least I can wear and be what and who I want in the mornings and evenings.

I don't feel awful about it. This is an important event in our life together. It's truly a miniscule sacrifice for me to make, especially after 61 years of being "him" and only 4 months of learning to being me.

"The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day." - David Foster Wallace.

After a long day of flying, we are here. All has gone smoothly, and I'm well disguised as a man (though nowhere near as manly as the locals). Last night and this morning, I was able to be me in our rental place, and that was lovely.