Quote from: Adrian26 on April 03, 2025, 01:11:58 PMI have to wear a dress for prom and while it's a beautiful dress, it just makes me feel so dysphoric in it. My chest is exposed and the slit makes my legs feel so feminine. I tried it on bc my mom wanted to make sure it fits and as I looked in the mirror all I saw was something I'm not. I felt like all the soul-searching I did to figure out who I was didn't mean anything because at the end of the day I'm female to everyone around me. Even just writing about it and reliving it makes me feel dysphoric. I just need some help on how to feel like myself even just a little bit on prom night.

The way I always dealt with stuff like that, Adrian, is to visualise yourself as an actor. Playing a role. Pantomime is common in the UK. It's a very weird thing, probably going back to Shakespeare. Or Greek plays. But they both had men playing women, and women playing men. The better you do it, the better a performer you are. But it doesn't make you, you. At the end of the day, you get to take off the dress, or the suit, and relax in what makes you comfy.

Sometimes you just have to see yourself that way. Because it's a performance for people who want that.

💡 I have an idea..🙂 Pack the clothes you want to wear in a backpack and change after you leave the house.

Quote from: Sephirah on May 01, 2025, 07:34:41 PMSometimes you just have to see yourself that way. Because it's a performance for people who want that.

This is reality for all of us that function in a society.  Both Cis and Trans.  We are all just people.  We all play roles.  Some of us get militant about it, but in the end, "you be be you" and gently employ passive skills that lead to your desired end.  Its the drastic changes folks can't handle so well.  In the end we all have to coexist.  We have learned to choose the direction to take ourselves. 

An expression from the past.  If the natives "...paint their noses blue, then paint your nose blue."  Only if you want to survive.  Until such time as you are independently wealthy and can afford to pick and choose where you are in society, play the role.

Allow me a bit more space to comment?  I'm not advocating remaining closeted, just that our personal power position dictates how demonstrative we can be in our own situations.

You'll remark that about 14% of the trans community are over 50, some say 65.  Whatever.  For those of us that are living that reality, most of us are "in power" over our own lives.  You youngsters have the idea of your own struggles but are unlikely to understand what senior trans folks have lived through and vice versa.

Be sweet and kind to your authority figures.  Let them rant, but quietly express and display.  No one said it would be easy.

Having trouble leaving this one alone.  I came across this from an article on the Gender GP site:

'The struggles faced by younger people are entirely different to those faced by those who transition later in life. The hurdles they have to jump through to prove that they are of sound mind, the barriers which are put in place to delay access to treatment 'just in case', do not affect me. As a grown-up, I am free to choose my own path, it is generally accepted that I know my own mind and that if I say I am trans, then I am. So does that mean we have an easier ride?

Transitioning in older age is far from easy; from the baggage that comes with life already half-lived, to navigating existing relationships. Sadly, I see too many relationships fail when a long-term partner comes out as trans. I am lucky, I am married to a woman who sees me for who I am deep down and not my outward appearance. Despite my happy situation, I am in the minority."

Could've been written by myself.  I wish I was able to... 

Maybe this will help you, Adrian 26?  We can only say why we continue to transition.  For us it's simple; we have no choice. It's not to improve lifestyle, to try something new or even just to try it on for size.

I am and always have been me, D'Amalie Richelle, a person in an image. It's just that now you can actually meet me in person – I just wish you could have done so a long time ago.  You are dealing with the here and now.  I'm glad we can meet you now!  Live for the now with hope for a brilliant tomorrow!

Quote from: D'Amalie on May 02, 2025, 08:55:06 AMHaving trouble leaving this one alone.  I came across this from an article on the Gender GP site:

'The struggles faced by younger people are entirely different to those faced by those who transition later in life. The hurdles they have to jump through to prove that they are of sound mind, the barriers which are put in place to delay access to treatment 'just in case', do not affect me. As a grown-up, I am free to choose my own path, it is generally accepted that I know my own mind and that if I say I am trans, then I am. So does that mean we have an easier ride?

Transitioning in older age is far from easy; from the baggage that comes with life already half-lived, to navigating existing relationships. Sadly, I see too many relationships fail when a long-term partner comes out as trans. I am lucky, I am married to a woman who sees me for who I am deep down and not my outward appearance. Despite my happy situation, I am in the minority."

Could've been written by myself.  I wish I was able to... 

No matter what age of generation you come from, being trans is damn tough. Be proud that you figured out who you truly are before you were in the ground. Seldom do. If it's any encouragement, I am proud of you. You figured out who you are and what you want. You're just doing the best you can with your situation

Quote from: D'Amalie on May 02, 2025, 09:15:19 AMMaybe this will help you, Adrian 26?  We can only say why we continue to transition.  For us it's simple; we have no choice. It's not to improve lifestyle, to try something new or even just to try it on for size.

I am and always have been me, D'Amalie Richelle, a person in an image. It's just that now you can actually meet me in person – I just wish you could have done so a long time ago.  You are dealing with the here and now.  I'm glad we can meet you now!  Live for the now with hope for a brilliant tomorrow!

That's the spirit! Just keep your head held high and if you're going through hell keep on moving