Major trauma to the body:
I will say that pain medication indirectly helps control depression (please don't abuse this) – morphine, and hydrocodone particularly; one of them being an opiate which many abuse to feel GOOD! I did have one episode one night where I cried a good deal. The site of the surgery was so bruised, black and blue and stiches. Really with any surgery, big or minor it won't look pretty at first – that's just the nature of the body responding to even the slightest change. But still it affected me a little, more in a petty way of it not being "pretty" yet. Foolish me basically.

Lingering of anesthetic:
This was more of an annoyance, didn't cause any depression. Annoyance being your mouth being so dry, not being able to taste stuff that well (although it may save you with the hospital food lol).

Hormones:
I've never understood the link between hormones and changes of mental state. I think of it more as physiological changes that the mind adjusts to where one might perceive as originating from the mind; e.g., less spontaneous energy from less testosterone. Just my two cents could be completely wrong. For me it was more of a psychological thing being off estrogen, because I've always been paranoid about being off of it in terms of feminization.

Repetitious sleep, eating, and dilating:
For me sleeping was again a bit more of an annoyance rather than depression, being only able to sleep on your back (which really started to hurt my ribs after a while) – if you're a back sleeper this will be no problem. Eating was actually fun for me. I've had an eating disorder in the past, and subsequently always am either at or below my caloric requirements. Surprisingly I enjoyed focusing on hitting my targets of protein intakes, as well as keeping the healthy veggies and fluids up. Dilating for me is a chore, just like doing the laundry or shoveling snow – not something I looked forward to, not something I disliked. Just separate yourself from whatever you're doing, get it done, and that's it!

Exhaustion:
Again this really didn't cause depression as there's an immediate task of managing that exhaustion that overcomes any focus on being depressed about it. For example, the first time I was able to actually shower normally, I came close to fainting. I'm unsure if I didn't get enough oxygen or what, but I had to get out of the shower, lay down and catch my breath. Then I felt better and went on my way. It was an isolated incident.

Lifting/Driving:
Lifting wasn't a big deal, I just lifted things one at a time, so instead of a bag of groceries, I'd just take a box, can, bottle of food at a time. It was funny though – when you can't bend over at first, if you drop something on the floor it might as well be if you had dropped it in the ocean. Keep a good grip on things! Not being able to drive was kind of boring

It all gets better day by day, granted it's slow. So each day is a little better than the last. For me the surgery confirmed my gender. It's almost like starting a new life, so don't start it out being depressed! Find something you enjoy to occupy your time – a good book, game, show, something. Look out the window and enjoy the nice weather and think of all the people enjoying it that day and how soon you'll be able to join them, this time as your true self and happier! Good luck with your journey Sam!!

I really didn't have any depression following GRS surgery.  I do remember on day 2 post op, experiencing hot flashes due to zero testosterone and I had stopped estrogen 7 days prior to surgery which left me miserable and disoriented and I also started feeling pain as my pain meds wore off from surgery.  I started crying when Miss Tok, my head nurse checked on me.  When I explained the hot flashed and pain, she started barking orders in Thai and all the nurses got very busy turning up my AC, bringing a floor fan which felt heavenly.  I also received a shot of Demerol and a shot of estradiol and within about two hours later, I felt on top of the world.  I was woman and they could hear me roar as all was right in my corner of the universe.

Hey Patty and GoneGrl, I am looking for people who went to dr. Seghers and are willing to tell me a bit about there experience with him. If you are open to talk about this feel free to contact me! Kind regards

Quote from: GoneGrl on May 20, 2015, 07:52:27 PMHey Patty,

I'm another Seghers girl myself.  Although my experience wasn't as bad as yours.  I'm wondering if you were circumcised?

I know when I had my SRS with Seghers I had alot of foreskin which added to the length of my vagina.  I have about 8 inches.  When I was younger (and hyper sexual) I felt like I had more depth.   

How many years ago was your surgery? I had mine in 92.

Quote from: Patty_M on October 01, 2014, 03:58:09 PMI went through a serious bout of deep depression after surgery.  Fortunately it passed.

That was caused by having put so much emotional energy in getting there that I needed to find something else to do.  For two years my entire life revolved around getting to SRS.  Now, suddenly, there was nothing to fill the void.  As Donna said above, "now what?"

In my case I had an appointment with Dr Biber (this was 1987) but with thirty four days to go he fell off of his horse and broke his arm.  Rather than waiting for him to heal I chose a different surgeon, Dr. Seghers in Brussels, Belgium. That was a mistake.

The surgical result was not as I had hoped, leaving too short a vagina.  That was a great disappointment, causing even more depression.

Truthfully, if I had the chance to do it all over I wouldn't hesitate a minute.  Transition was the best thing I ever did.  But I would keep some emotional distance instead of allowing it to dominate my psyche so completely.  I'd also be wiser in choosing the surgeon.

Incidentally this was all in the paleolithic days.  All the reputable surgeons today do a much better job today. 

I've been reflecting on the physical, emotional and psychological symptoms that can arise during gender affirmation surgeries.

How they relate to the range of physical, emotional, and mental changes that come with the process.

Lately, my focus has shifted more toward nonbinary and gender-fluid individuals.

It's not just about the procedures, but about how identity itself evolves through this process?

Any thoughts?

Quote from: Lilis on May 07, 2025, 01:50:58 AMI've been reflecting on the physical, emotional and psychological symptoms that can arise during gender affirmation surgeries.

How they relate to the range of physical, emotional, and mental changes that come with the process.

Lately, my focus has shifted more toward nonbinary and gender-fluid individuals.

It's not just about the procedures, but about how identity itself evolves through this process?

Any thoughts?

Lills,
         Many people see genital surgery as the end of their journey, the reaching of their goal, but it is really just another step. They focus on all the aspects of the surgery, the preparations, decisions of which surgery to get, which doctor, and what the aesthetic and functional outcomes will be, but not about their lives post surgery. Then they wake up after surgery, marvel at what has been done, and all of a sudden are confronted with "What Now?"

They find that on the other side of their pinnacle is not a world where all their problems have gone, but a world where everything is the same except their genitals. Most experience a significant reduction in dysphoria, but the power bill is still waiting to be paid, their best friend still won't talk to them, and it is crunch time to discover their new sexuality. While their surgical expectations may have been achieved, their life expectations may not. The physical traits which bothered them in the past are still there, and the magical 'new' life they were expecting is just the same as the life they had pre op.

The healthy thing to do before surgery is to break down what life will be like post surgery in real terms. For most of us, nobody gets to see our genitals, so the change is only for us. We no longer have the excuse that our difficulties are due to having the 'wrong' genitals, and we are confronted with the real world. It just isn't like we imagined, so we need time to accept this.

All this happens in the same time our hormones and body chemistry is changing, while our healing from fairly radical surgery is happening, and we are learning new ways to pee and wash. It's a lot to take on, and often leads to depression. So we need to prepare, not just for the perioperative period, but for the months after as well.

Hugs,

Allie

Quote from: Allie Jayne on May 07, 2025, 06:44:34 AMMany people see genital surgery as the end of their journey, the reaching of their goal, but it is really just another step

That, Allie Jayne, is a form of words I wish I'd thought of when I was working. Quite a few people transition without talking through all the motivations they have for GAMC and all the ambitions they have for what they hope it will do for them. As you say, it is not a magic wand and it needs to be approached with a clear mind because there are some things it cannot fix, like that pesky grocery bill and attitudes of family members and friends.

Done in the right frame of mind, surgery can be empowering, but if not, it can be a bit like a reunion with an ex, emotional, but a reminder of all the issues the relationship brought.

Quote from: Allie Jayne on May 07, 2025, 06:44:34 AMThe healthy thing to do before surgery is to break down what life will be like post surgery in real terms.

Thank you, Allie. This is exactly where I find myself right now. I'm not certain about surgery yet, but I'm considering it, and this part feels tricky. It takes both imagination and research to begin forming a clear picture.

What does healing look like? What does embodiment feel like? And what might still remain unresolved?

I'm still sitting with those questions, especially as someone who identifies as nonbinary. The more I hear reflections like yours, the more I realize this isn't just about choosing a procedure, it's more like making space for a deeper version of self. That takes patience, and a willingness to dwell in the unknown.

Quote from: Allie Jayne on May 07, 2025, 06:44:34 AMThen they wake up after surgery, marvel at what has been done, and all of a sudden are confronted with "What Now?"

Yes... my whole transition so far has felt like peeling an onion, layer by layer, revelation by revelation.

I wonder... does the question "What now?" ever really stop?

Warmly,

~ Lilis 💗

I told someone who is working with me on a project that I needed to make enough money for a vaginoplasty. I told him I was determined to be the oldest person to undergo the procedure. He never replied because he knew I was 'joking'. In a way I was. I will never undergo surgical gender affirmation. But I fantasize about it. Now, if I was a young lass of sixty-something, I might very well be pestering my friend to focus a bit more intently on our project. I can only imagine the twists and turns people seriously contemplating GAS must go through. And the twists and turns that follow regardless of which decision they make. You are my heroes.

Quote from: Lilis on May 07, 2025, 06:10:32 PMI'm still sitting with those questions, especially as someone who identifies as nonbinary.

That's the core of it, Lillis and it's worth reflecting on what your ideal solution would be if you lived in a world where everyone is supportive however you express your non-binary identity. And it's also worth reflecting on what non-binary means to you, because we all have our own flavour. Because there are solutions out there doesn't mean to say they are the right ones for you, especially when there's effectively no going back once you've passed a certain point.

Which is why I'm always so keen for people to find their own solution and not pick something off the shelf because it happens to be there. From my POV, transitioning is inherently binary, which is why I never went through it. All it would have done was to put me inside looking out, instead of outside looking in, and I realised I stood somewhere in between. But for you the balance may be completely different. Just be sure of it so you know what you're aiming for when you jump. Lots of hugs.

Most of you would know I take a more clinical view of things, and I don't subscribe to any classifications, I'm just me. I didn't get my labiaplasty to 'feel complete', to me it was a treatment for my significant dysphoria. I don't look at it more than I need to, it's just there, and it worked. I was focused on life after GRS, principally, finding a boring new 'normal' as just me. I don't hide that I am trans, I don't hide my past. Other people are more comfortable addressing me as a female, and I don't get upset when I am misgendered. This is because I don't see myself as male or female, and I don't identify as non binary, I'm just me. It was more important for me just to rid myself of offending tissue than achieve a binary ideal, though I do feel more comfortable when I am seen naked that Im look somewhat 'normal'.

As for GRS for older people, my friend had hers a few months before her 80th birthday, and it went smoothly. It's whatever suits you personally.

Hugs,

Allie

Hi Everyone

I have provided more information in Sarah B's Story about me in regards to this issue.

I lived my life as a female with quiet certainty and never paused to dissect motives the way others often do.  During the eighties that feeling certainly grew stronger every day while reliable information was scarce and I was not searching for answers either.  Three months after rearranging my life I was already working full time, commuting, running errands, socialising and paying bills which left no room to wonder "what changes" or "what ifs" before surgery.  I understood only that the operation would remove what I felt was wrong and never expected it to erase ordinary problems so everyday life issues were always present.

Financial pressure sent me back to work two weeks after the surgery and that daily life protected me from rumination.  There was no change in what I thought, I just continued life as if nothing had happened.  I knew hormone treatment would resume quickly and complete privacy about my history shielded me from gossip or prejudice.  Maintaining my privacy or story strengthened my resilience so decades later constant activity and realistic expectations have kept depression at bay.

Those who have analysed their situation as much as possible are sometimes faced with the lingering question "What now?"

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator

Quote from: Sarah B on May 08, 2025, 05:28:32 AMI lived my life as a female with quiet certainty and never paused to dissect motives the way others often do.

It shows how different we all are. People who are strongly binary face fewer issues than those who are not and my experience of working with other trans people has taught me there's space for the two groups working to understand each other.

We're all traveling on the same railway network, but with wildly different routes and destinations and what is a (relatively!) simple journey for some is nothing like for others. For people on one side or other of the spectrum it can be quite hard to understand the uncertainties of people toward the middle, perhaps?

BTW I'm in no way suggesting you don't get that, you're a rock around which the sometimes chaotic waters of Susan's swirl, just that this  can often be a factor in discussions like this.