Suddenly today, I want to wear something so when I'm out and about, trans people will recognize that I'm an ally, and maybe they'll feel safer and more confident in this scary world, and maybe they'll ask me for help if they need to.


I saw that the HRC sells lapel pins. I like the idea of supporting them with the purchase, but the pin looks inconspicuous and doesn't match my artistic nature.

I'm continuing to search for something. A hat, scarf, or t-shirt would be conspicuous, but I'd rather choose something that I can wear noticeably every day everywhere.

Many people sell beautiful pins, but ideally I'd like the sales proceeds to support the cause.

Any suggestions?

I found a dozen over two dozen items on Etsy that I really like, and so far, all of the sellers whom I looked into are donating proceeds to related nonprofit organizations! I verified one of them, which led me to continue seeing what's available there.

I found trans flag pins and shoelace charms, trans heart and rainbow pins, trans decals, trans striped ribbons and shoelaces, and trans striped hair scrunchies. I found items that say, "I'll go with you," "trans women are my sisters," "ally," "protect trans lives," and "trans rights are human rights." I want to wear them all at once so no one can overlook them!

Speaking personally.. Moonflower, is there anyone close to you that you can be there for? I kind of think you wouldn't be here if this didn't affect you personally... and I think if there is, you should focus on being there for this person.

You don't need to show the world you're an ally. You just need to be you and support the people you care about. That's how you show who you are. Be the change you want to see in the world.

This whole thing is very personal for all of us. It's not a banner we all march behind. Some people value stealth, some people value transparency. There is no wrong answer. You just have to be a friend. The whole public stuff might come down the road. You just have to hold on to what matters to you... the people who matter to you... and be there for them. That's how you become an ally. Public or not... really doesn't matter.

Dear Moonflower--not too many years ago, I was in your place. Determined to scream something, anything, into the face of the hatred and disinformation. I remember telling my VA receptionist almost a decade ago that any man with any character would wear a dress. Of course, I was wearing secretly a dress in the safety of my own home, unaware that all of us are, to one extent or another, trans, genderfluid, bi. I think that's the source of the animosity: the ambivalence about who we are.

I admire your desire to publicly rage against the injustice of gender variance prejudice. And I greatly admire your support for your husband's gender variance. She is a lucky woman. The love, acceptance, and hope you give to her is far more significant than any pin or item of clothing. Moonflower, you're already doing more than I expect from anyone with whom I've shared my own gender variance. Just keep being you. Hugs.   

Quote from: Mrs. Oliphant on May 08, 2025, 06:49:32 PMDear Moonflower--not too many years ago, I was in your place. Determined to scream something, anything, into the face of the hatred and disinformation.

Dear Mrs -- thanks for your understanding and for sharing your experience. Yeah, I feel a lot of anger in response to the hatred and disinformation. I have little to no patience for ignorance and bigotry.

Quote from: Mrs. OliphantI remember telling my VA receptionist almost a decade ago that any man with any character would wear a dress.

I'm inclined to emphatically agree. I've always wanted to use my privileged status to demand equal rights for everyone else. I've always protested, "why can women enjoy a full spectrum of gender expression while men are confined to being uniform?!"

I love seeing elite fashion designers including skirts and other "feminine" touches on men in their seasonal lines. I saw a pin on Etsy of a trans flag with the word "Feminist" on it. Neo-feminists are WRONG to exclude trans women from the privileges that they (neo-feminists AND trans women) so highly value.

Quote from: Mrs. OliphantOf course, I was wearing secretly a dress in the safety of my own home, unaware that all of us are, to one extent or another, trans, genderfluid, bi. I think that's the source of the animosity: the ambivalence about who we are.

My ire is raised when I proceed along each step of awareness of the bigotry. Why can I have easy access to and full insurance coverage for numerous outrageously expensive gender-affirming surgeries and treatments -- because of cancer-related diagnoses that are as life-threatening as a gender dysphoria diagnosis?!       

Quote from: Mrs. OliphantI admire your desire to publicly rage against the injustice of gender variance prejudice. And I greatly admire your support for your husband's gender variance. She is a lucky woman. The love, acceptance, and hope you give to her is far more significant than any pin or item of clothing. Moonflower, you're already doing more than I expect from anyone with whom I've shared my own gender variance. Just keep being you. Hugs. 

I feel ashamed of how long it took me to see the injustice, but I'm glad that I am who I am as I discover the depth of my passion about authentic self expression and making more opportunities available. I'm sad that it took me so long to notice the lack of trans-affirming symbols and statements when I'm out and about. I only see such at the weekly political protests that we've been participating in. My wife didn't even know what a trans flag was until a couple days ago. I want to do my little bit to coax along a trend, especially as we see conspicuous trans people suddenly being in front-line customer service roles at local businesses during the past year. I want to do my part to lock in that progress! I want to celebrate!