Hello everyone.

I have recently (within the past year) come to accept that I am trans. I haven't really started my journey into actually transitioning socially or medically yet and I have a feeling that might not get started for another year or so. I don't really have any support network IRL so thought I should probably see about getting something scraped together before I start. I'm just recently started reaching out for help in that regard.

That covers why I'm here I guess. About me... I'm 47 (I see I'm not completely bizarre for not being 19 on here, thank the Gawds!), have a young child and a strange set of interests. Most of my hobbies (other than computers) went out of general fashion 200 years ago. I like working with my hands, being outdoors and not being around people generally. I like to think I'm friendly, if acerbic at times, and do my best to not be an ass while failing miserably. I read a lot, am long winded (evident I know, I also can't seem to stop the asides) but genuinely care about the people I know. Oh, like most Americans I also seem to have a rather strong case of depression which has NOT helped my life but I manage to maintain.

Okay, sorry if that was a bit much or I over shared I'm just kind of excited to be here based on what I've read so far after lurking for a few days. Regardless... Hi Everybody!
~Adriane

Welcome Adriane!

There is a lot you can do without actually transitioning from MtF.
There is a lot of art and science to dressing appropriately.    I first started by learning about skintone so could pick appropriate colors for my outfits.

Marion

@AdrianeAlready

Dear Adriane:
I have noticed that you have just registered today as a new member and
this is your very first posting here on the Introductions Board... it is nice to meet you.
All of us on the Forum are very glad that you found us and that you are now here.

Here on the Forum we have members coming from all backgrounds and with a variety of experiences.

I am wishing you a Warm Welcome to Susan's Place!

I look forward to your involvement on the Forum and reading your
future postings, comments and thoughts.

I will now let you get back to getting involved in the various conversations around
the Forum... there should be some additional like-minded members coming along
to greet you and to help answer any questions that you may have.

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Warmest Regards, and WELCOME
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]  E-Mail: alaskandanielle@yahoo.com
The Forum Administrator
                              The FORUM Moderator Team
                              @Sarah B
                              @LoriDee
                              @Devlyn
                              @Jessica_Rose
                              @Mariah
                              @Northern Star Girl [Danielle] The Forum Administrator

Welcome Adriane! In my opinion, you've found the ideal place to help you become yourself. I know for certain that I did, anyway.

Welcome, Adriane!

Jump right in, the water is fine. 

If you get lost or need help, just yell. Our members are always happy to help out.

Hi Adriane

My name is Sarah and I would also like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

I see that other members of Susan's have also welcomed you as well.

Accepting you for who you are is such a big step and it takes real courage to do that.  Even if you don't have a local support network yet, you will find plenty of people here who truly understand what you are going through and are eager to share their own stories.

It's never too late to explore your identity.  A lot of members here started their journeys later in life, so you are definitely in good company.  Balancing parenthood with self discovery can seem overwhelming, but with some patience and careful planning, it's totally doable.

Your passion for old-fashioned crafts, books and spending time outdoors will definitely bring some vibrant energy to our conversations.  Don't hesitate to start threads about your projects or favourite reads, we all love learning from one another.

I know depression can make it feel like progress is slow, but remember, you are not alone in this.  If you ever want to talk about those tough days, just reach out.  We can help point you toward resources, share coping strategies, or simply provide a listening ear.

Take everything at your own pace, celebrate each small victory and always feel free to ask questions.  We're excited to get to know you better.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the other forums and threads.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members.

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these issues as well.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Devlyn  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah  @Northern Star Girl  @Lori Dee
@AdrianeAlready

Hi!


   Welcome Adriane!



Chrissy

Welcome Aboard Adriane!

We may not be IRL but, we are a supportive bunch indeed!... Wishing you all good things as you plot your new directions in life! Amazing things patiently await you!

Onward Brave Sister!

Ashley 💕

Yes - supportive!

Welcome, Adriane.
Alana

Hey Adriane,


Welcome to Susan's Place! 💗


~Lilis 🫂

Welcome, Adriane, you sound pretty normal! Many of us have had similar journeys and you've already spotted how many of us share having taken a decade or two to get past the gender destiny others have decided for us. It takes a while to get past all of that conditioning and see our true paths and taking time to be sure we are set on the right way is the best thing any of us can do.

The two biggest steps are often accepting we are trans and seeking therapy. You've done both, so your path should be smoother and hopefully clearer now.

Welcome to Susan's, Adrienne! As you've discovered, although we are each unique, we often share many things in common as well. And, there are many of us who have started our journeys much later in life than you and have found happiness.

There are many things you can explore now that don't really require close physical support. For example, you can begin to find your fashion style by interacting with people here to see how they dress. You can visit web sites for clothing manufacturers like J Jill, Lands End, Talbots and others to see what women are wearing and find what looks appeal to you. You don't have to buy things, unless you want to, but I found it took some experimenting for me to hone how I want to present myself to others. And, you don't need to spend a lot of money. Much of my early clothing came from Amazon and I still buy clothes there. I also shop eBay to find things I like at discounted prices.

You could watch YouTube videos on make-up application and perhaps experiment a bit. The same goes for voice training. There are videos and phone apps that can help you shape a more feminine voice.

One of the things that was very helpful for me was to swap out items of clothing for feminine versions. For example, I bought women's jeans and wore them instead of men's. Unless someone is really looking closely, no one will know but you. No one ever noticed I wearing women's jeans...and that includes the time early on that I grabbed a pair with a tell-tale black trim stripe down the legs and went out to dinner in a place where I'm very well known. 

I also switched from men's underwear to women's high cut briefs. And, I bought a fabric bra that I could wear under my clothing that was near impossible to see.

All of those things, and more, can be done as you start your journey to help offset the "pink fog" that often clouds our minds as we discover ourselves and begin transition.

And, remember we are here to help. Ask questions, jump in where you feel comfortable. You are not alone, you are valued and you are loved.

Thank you all for the support and kind words. I really do feel welcomed here and am excited to see how this works out. My opening post is the first time I've actually told another living soul I'm trans. I've admitted it and made the decision this is what I need for myself but haven't actually told anyone. I know you all are strangers on the internet but it feels REALLY good to tell someone.

April - I have started to do a lot of those things already. I have a pretty solitary job so I try and practice walking more feminine and work on my voice. I've looked up a few voice training tutorials on youtube but I think I still need a lot of work. I've also started to build up a "secret wardrobe" for a few years. That's how I think of it anyway, even if I have started to wear more of it in public (at least the stuff I feel I can; undergarments, women's t-shirts, unisex style sneakers in a women's size, etc). I have makeup but I'm such a klutz at it. I've watched some videos but I don't even know how to find my correct skin tone for foundation let alone how to properly apply eyeliner to a hooded eye. That stuff is definitely going to take awhile since I'm very much a hands on learner with that stuff and no one I could even ask. I'll keep playing with it and it'll come eventually. Some of this I had planned to look up or ask about later on actually. Anyway, I'm rambling. I really appreciate your advice!

~Adriane

Quote from: AdrianeAlready on May 21, 2025, 11:21:37 AMI've watched some videos but I don't even know how to find my correct skin tone for foundation let alone how to properly apply eyeliner to a hooded eye. That stuff is definitely going to take awhile since I'm very much a hands on learner with that stuff and no one I could even ask. I'll keep playing with it and it'll come eventually. Some of this I had planned to look up or ask about later on actually. Anyway, I'm rambling. I really appreciate your advice!

For Makeup Help check out this sub-forum:
https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,340.0.html

I found that by searching the internet for specific queries, like "How to apply eyeliner to hooded eyes" you get some very informative videos. That is how I learned. I also learned that the look that I like to see on other women does not necessarily look good on me. I have always liked the "smoky eyes" or the "cat eye" styles. But on me, it looks like a drunken raccoon that got hit by a truck. 

For foundation, you need to know if you have warm-toned or cool-toned skin. Look at your wrist in sunlight. If the veins look green, you have a warm tone, if blue, then cool tone. The place to test foundation color is on your cheek near your jawline. That will give you the most accurate sense of the right color to match. Check out the Beauty > Makeup sub-forum for tips from other members.
 

I got a Kohl's credit card.  THey send me coupons for an extra 10,20,or 30% off that I can use on clothes already discounted by 70%  The Junior's section has clothes that are a good fit for young women or MTFs that haven't filled out their curves.

Hi, Adriane. Welcome to Susan's Place.

There are many very special people here, and I think you'll very quickly find your place among them.

Pema

Quote from: AdrianeAlready on May 21, 2025, 11:21:37 AMThank you all for the support and kind words. I really do feel welcomed here and am excited to see how this works out. My opening post is the first time I've actually told another living soul I'm trans. I've admitted it and made the decision this is what I need for myself but haven't actually told anyone. I know you all are strangers on the internet but it feels REALLY good to tell someone.

April - I have started to do a lot of those things already. I have a pretty solitary job so I try and practice walking more feminine and work on my voice. I've looked up a few voice training tutorials on youtube but I think I still need a lot of work. I've also started to build up a "secret wardrobe" for a few years. That's how I think of it anyway, even if I have started to wear more of it in public (at least the stuff I feel I can; undergarments, women's t-shirts, unisex style sneakers in a women's size, etc). I have makeup but I'm such a klutz at it. I've watched some videos but I don't even know how to find my correct skin tone for foundation let alone how to properly apply eyeliner to a hooded eye. That stuff is definitely going to take awhile since I'm very much a hands on learner with that stuff and no one I could even ask. I'll keep playing with it and it'll come eventually. Some of this I had planned to look up or ask about later on actually. Anyway, I'm rambling. I really appreciate your advice!

~Adriane

Adriane you are definitely not alone here, I am right there with you girl. I just started this journey a short couple of months ago. I am also learning so much just by being here. I know what you are saying. I first started and by tossing out all my male clothes out. But this is not for everyone.  I also just wear women's jeans, t-shirts, sneakers, underwear, socks and now that the weather is getting hotter I sm venturing into shorts. I am trying to find my style as some members mentioned. I am liking the pastel colors. The great thing us girls have going is the variety af colors that has now opened up to us. I remember I would always only wear khaki and denim. I am overwhelmed at the choices. But it is fun exploring.  I haven't ventured beyond this yet, as you may not either as you are exploring your style. Just go slow and do what's comfortable for you.
I like you have no idea at about how to even get a handle on makeup, but am taking baby steps and trying to get comfortable with a few things at a time.

I just wanted to say to you you definitely are not alone at this, at least know there are others who are walking this path with you. Hugs Annaliese

Adriane,

Keep returning in and keep expressing yourself, asking and answering questions as you so desire.

Some will respond, for sure!



Chrissy

Lori - Thank you sooo much! I just grabbed the book and will look it over but a cursory glance tells me I'll learn so much from it. I haven't had much chance to explore the sub-forums yet but this is already a big help. I appreciate the tips on what were essentially just throw away examples (even if they were frustratingly accurate ones).

Marion - I appreciate the tip. I'm a bit to large framed for the junior's section myself. I've found Amazon to be the best place to get clothes so far. I'm far too chicken to just walk into a store and try things on yet and since I haven't publicly started to transition and live in the bible belt it's still a bit much. I return a lot less then when I started collecting things but finding something really cute and realizing the largest size is an 8 is still disappointing. I know all women face the same thing so it's not a big deal but why oh why can't I get those adorable shoes I love in a size 13?!?

Annaliesse - Yeah, haven't thrown out any of the boy mode stuff. I feel a bit disappointed when I have to go full boy mode for a weekend but it's not like I haven't done it for more than 40 years at this point so it's no biggie. I work in what I feel I can get away with and still maintain my cover. At least until I can have "the talk" and come out to my kid. They still don't know but they aren't stupid and probably suspect pretty strongly. I think ultimately they will accept me just fine but ever since their mom and I divorced when they were 5 big changes really scare them and they're still young (pre-teen). Wow, we have some weird problems sometimes don't we? Anyway I was always a jeans and t-shirt guy before so I think everyday wear will probably become that. Jeans are really hard to buy online though so I don't have much. Most of the stuff I have were things I just found adorable and had to have. I understand color theory and matching outfits and all of that but I'm both a basic bitch and a child of the 80's so I gravitate toward mostly black and denim. I guess I wish I had gone full goth in high school because my wardrobe definitely has that feel.

Pema - Thank you. I feel pretty happy to be here. Don't know if it's relief from actually talking about this or you folks are just that damn nice but I appreciate you all either way.

ChrissyRyan - I'm pretty open normally so I'm happy to get questions. I won't answer everything, this is still the internet after all and I have learned a pretty harsh lesson about maintaining anonymity online vicariously through a friend, but most stuff I'm happy to discuss. I'm honestly surprised at the number of responses I've gotten so far considering I'm a complete stranger to everyone and just sort of busted through the proverbial door shouting "Hi everyone"!