Quote from: TanyaG on May 28, 2025, 02:13:44 AMWell done, darling, you did it!

Now we've got a really great opportunity for you to look back on what you did well in the build up to the date, how she reacted to you and how you reacted to her, and where your self-confidence is at after.

One goal I'd throw in as a possible is this: what are your aims for how you should manage your feelings before, during and after a date and what do you think should be the foundation those aims are built on?

Tanya, thank you for recognizing the emotional weight and courage it took for me to show up, especially considering the nerves and self-doubt I felt going into this date. 🫂💞🐰

Looking back, I think my emotional preparation was a little shaky. As for how I presented myself, I dressed more like a butch or stem lesbian, lol (Lesbian sisters and mods, if I'm using the wrong terms please correct me, as I don't intend to offend anyone, and excuse me for my ignorance, I am still rather new at this experience). She's more of a femme lesbian, so I think it ended up being a nice contrast and balance. But in terms of presence... I was kind of off. My mind wandered a lot during our time together, I was caught up in my own performance, expectations, and wondering how others perceived us as a couple when we walked from the LGBTQ center into the "real world."

That's definitely something I want to work on.

When it comes to emotional attunement and mutual energy, there were moments where something I said made her laugh, and her smile lit up like sunlight breaking through a cloudy day. I tried to keep my voice soft and low to stay within a more feminine range. I'm not sure I succeeded, but the fact that she kept leaning in gave me a little boost of confidence each time, lol. Every time she smiled, laughed, or leaned closer, I felt myself becoming just a bit more at ease.

There's definitely been a boost in confidence and self-worth. The honesty of not having to wear any masks around her, not pretending to be a femme lesbian, not pretending to be perfect, was incredibly freeing.

That alone felt amazing.

You're right! I do need to work on how I manage my emotions before, during, and after dates. I'm thinking about incorporating journaling and using some of the tools I've picked up over time to help prepare more mindfully next time.

Still lots of work to do, but I'm proud of the steps I've taken so far.

Quote from: davina61 on May 28, 2025, 03:07:50 AMSee the universe is on your side, go with the flow my dear as the probability's are endless.

Thank you so much, Davina! 💞



Warmly,

~ Lilis 💗

Lilis, it's a beautiful beginning to a new aspect of your life. That you feel positively about it now, that you have a second date, that it's given you confidence... It's all wonderful.

We are blessed to have you share all of it with us. It shows so many of us that there is good reason to make the effort to overcome all the obstacles to becoming our whole selves.

Quote from: Pema on May 28, 2025, 10:59:12 AMLilis, it's a beautiful beginning to a new aspect of your life. That you feel positively about it now, that you have a second date, that it's given you confidence... It's all wonderful.

We are blessed to have you share all of it with us. It shows so many of us that there is good reason to make the effort to overcome all the obstacles to becoming our whole selves.

Thank you so much, Pema, for your kind words.

I'm grateful that my story could offer even a bit of light or inspiration, specially knowing how many of us are still finding our way through transitions, challenges, and awakenings.

I also want to thank you for the way you so openly and generously share your own journey. Your story also brings clarity, hope, and warmth to this space, and it means so much.

It's a blessing to walk alongside you on this path too. 💗

Thank You,

~ Lilis 🫂

Quote from: Lilis on May 28, 2025, 10:39:59 AM...the fact that she kept leaning in gave me a little boost of confidence each time, lol. Every time she smiled, laughed, or leaned closer, I felt myself becoming just a bit more at ease.

Things like this are what you need to pick up on because they'll boost your confidence! You've still got a tendency to spectate - do you think that might be why you're tending to drop into a role? As in the 'butch lesbian'? At a guess she may be there to meet you, not someone you think she might want to meet?

You did just great, but finding the spring of self-confidence relies on accepting people like you just as you are. Look at how well you did managing your anxiety, that was huge!

Quote from: TanyaG on May 28, 2025, 12:15:01 PMYou've still got a tendency to spectate - do you think that might be why you're tending to drop into a role? As in the 'butch lesbian'? At a guess she may be there to meet you, not someone you think she might want to meet.

That's such a deep question, Tanya.

But to be honest, it wasn't really about her, the choice to present that way came more from within me, from how I've been weighing my own physical feminization progress with GAHT.

Like you insightfully noted, I was observing myself from the outside, trying to gauge where I am in my feminization process.

While there has definitely been some feminization physical progress, I still feel there's more room to grow, something my provider and I actually discussed in our last session.

I think as my physical transition continues to feminize and align more closely with how I feel inside, the need to shapeshift or step into roles will begin to fade away.


Thank you for these well thought out questions.

~ Lilis 💗

Quote from: Lilis on May 28, 2025, 12:54:33 PMI think as my physical transition continues to feminize and align more closely with how I feel inside, the need to shapeshift or step into roles will begin to fade away.

That's fab, I love how this is working out for you. May any clouds in your sky always be small, fluffy and cute

Quote from: Lilis on May 28, 2025, 10:39:59 AMTanya, thank you for recognizing the emotional weight and courage it took for me to show up, especially considering the nerves and self-doubt I felt going into this date. 🫂💞🐰

Looking back, I think my emotional preparation was a little shaky. As for how I presented myself, I dressed more like a butch or stem lesbian, lol (Lesbian sisters and mods, if I'm using the wrong terms please correct me, as I don't intend to offend anyone, and excuse me for my ignorance, I am still rather new at this experience). She's more of a femme lesbian, so I think it ended up being a nice contrast and balance. But in terms of presence... I was kind of off. My mind wandered a lot during our time together, I was caught up in my own performance, expectations, and wondering how others perceived us as a couple when we walked from the LGBTQ center into the "real world."

That's definitely something I want to work on.

When it comes to emotional attunement and mutual energy, there were moments where something I said made her laugh, and her smile lit up like sunlight breaking through a cloudy day. I tried to keep my voice soft and low to stay within a more feminine range. I'm not sure I succeeded, but the fact that she kept leaning in gave me a little boost of confidence each time, lol. Every time she smiled, laughed, or leaned closer, I felt myself becoming just a bit more at ease.

There's definitely been a boost in confidence and self-worth. The honesty of not having to wear any masks around her, not pretending to be a femme lesbian, not pretending to be perfect, was incredibly freeing.

That alone felt amazing.

You're right! I do need to work on how I manage my emotions before, during, and after dates. I'm thinking about incorporating journaling and using some of the tools I've picked up over time to help prepare more mindfully next time.

Still lots of work to do, but I'm proud of the steps I've taken so far.

I literally don't understand any of this, lol. The technical "Jane's Manual" on how to do stuff. I am just proud of you, Lilis. You've come such a long way. You've become someone you never thought you could be. From that fragile... unsure girl who felt safe hiding herself... you are someone so much more. You've seen the light you have, and embraced it. And other people have seen it, too. That makes me happier than you can imagine because I cannot think of good things happening to anyone better. You are the angel who sits on others' shoulders. You deserve an angel sitting on yours.

Outside of all the therapy stuff, I'd just like to give you a quote from the movie "Field of dreams":

"If you build it, they will come."

<3

You deserve this, Lilis. You deserve to be happy, and loved. And cared for. The way you love and care for others. The universe has a strange way of making that happen.

*giant hugs*
'
Your fangirl,

Lauren. <3

Quote from: Sephirah on May 29, 2025, 05:36:05 PMI literally don't understand any of this, lol. The technical "Jane's Manual" on how to do stuff.

Lol, neither do I,  am just trying to make sense of Tanya's wisdom and knowledge. 

QuoteI am just proud of you, Lilis. You've come such a long way. You've become someone you never thought you could be. From that fragile... unsure girl who felt safe hiding herself... you are someone so much more.

You remembered! 🥰 💞💋

QuoteYou've seen the light you have, and embraced it. And other people have seen it, too. That makes me happier than you can imagine because I cannot think of good things happening to anyone better. You are the angel who sits on others' shoulders. You deserve an angel sitting on yours.

Thank you so much, Lauren! 💕

QuoteOutside of all the therapy stuff, I'd just like to give you a quote from the movie "Field of dreams":

"If you build it, they will come."

<3

You deserve this, Lilis. You deserve to be happy, and loved. And cared for. The way you love and care for others. The universe has a strange way of making that happen.

*giant hugs*
'
Your fangirl,

Lauren. <3

Thank you, giant hugs and kisses to you too, Lauren!

~ Lilis 🫂

Quote from: Lilis on May 29, 2025, 05:49:05 PMYou remembered! 🥰 💞💋

Of course I did, Lilis. Seeing you come out of your shell was one of the highlights of my year. And I am sorry for pushing you but girl, look at you now. You take my breath away. <3

Quote from: Sephirah on May 29, 2025, 06:01:09 PMOf course I did, Lilis. Seeing you come out of your shell was one of the highlights of my year. And I am sorry for pushing you but girl, look at you now. You take my breath away. <3

Thank you, Lauren! 🫂


~ Lilis 💗

Quote from: Lilis on May 29, 2025, 06:03:06 PMThank you, Lauren! 🫂


~ Lilis 💗

No, thank you, Lilis. You are one of those people who pays things forward. I've been here a long time. A lot of folks take what they need, and move on. You are not like that. You give back to people. It's too easy to get to where you want to be and think "I don't need this anymore. See ya!".

You are not that person. You live and learn and try to help others live and learn. That is a very rare and precious gift. And I thank you for that. Because this place needs people like you. People like Tanya, and Lori. and Ashley. People who go through stuff and help other people going through stuff. This place could not function without people like you, Lilis.

Quote from: Sephirah on May 29, 2025, 06:44:13 PMBecause this place needs people like you. People like Tanya, and Lori. and Ashley. People who go through stuff and help other people going through stuff.

Like Sephirah Too!!! 💕🤗💕

Quote from: tgirlamg on May 29, 2025, 06:58:14 PMLike Sephirah Too!!! 💕🤗💕

I mean maybe in a small way. But you have inspired me more than you probably will ever know, Ash. You are the angel on the shoulder that I always aspired to be. What you do, and who you are, always leaves me amazed and inspired to be better. And it's the same with so many people here. I am no one special... anything I do is built on the shoulders of giants, as it were.

I thank you, sweetie, but... I can only ever help people feel good. You folks make them feel whole. That's an entirely different thing. And something I'm eternally grateful for. You can guide people in ways I never will. I can help people feel okay to take another step. You all can show what step to take.

I am eternally grateful for that. And for you. All of you.

Quote from: tgirlamg on May 29, 2025, 06:58:14 PMLike Sephirah Too!!! 💕🤗💕

Exactly This! 💗


~ Lilis 🫂

Quote from: Lilis on May 29, 2025, 07:09:18 PMExactly This! 💗


~ Lilis 🫂

Nooo! Like Lilis, and Ashley, and Tanya, and Lori, Sarah, and Annika, and Annaliese, and Alana, and Danielle, and Devlyn and gosh... like everyone else here... all of you folks are inspirational. Far more than you ever think you are.

*hides in a corner*

I am the whisper on the wind. You are the people who drive the change in this world. Gandhi would be proud. <3

Quote from: Lilis on May 09, 2025, 09:44:43 PMI received a call today from the law firm's office... they're ready to get the ball rolling on the documentation for my name change and just need a few personal details to move forward.

The only ID they're not handling at the moment is the passport, due to the current political climate.

That's okay, though... I don't have any plans to travel internationally anytime soon.

We're scheduled to meet in June to finalize everything before they submit the paperwork to the court on June 10th.

Funny enough, June 10th, 2024 was also the day I began my GAHT journey.

It's like June 10th is becoming my new birthday. 🎂🎈

And honestly, I'm a bit tired of stretching myself thin doing everything DIY..  so I'm treating myself to some hired help on this one.

~ Lilis 💗

All parties have completed Complete
with Docusign: Retainer English
Name Change.pdf.

~ Lilis 💗

You are on your way!

Quote from: Lori Dee on May 29, 2025, 10:08:46 PMYou are on your way!

Thank you, Lori! 💗

Next we will submit it to the Courts. 🙏


~ Lilis 🫂

*massive hugs*

So proud of you, Lilis. <3

Quote from: Sephirah on May 30, 2025, 04:57:24 AM*massive hugs*

So proud of you, Lilis. <3

Thank you so much, Lauren! 💞

This place feels magical, like a dream come true. 💭

From my very first dose of GAHT to now, legally changing my name and finally laying his name to rest... it's surreal.

I'm literally typing this with tears in my eyes. Sorry, just feeling it all. 🥹

I'm beyond grateful for this website, the forums, this community, and every single person who contributes to it.

Yes, some voices shine louder than others, and some remain silent for a long time, but I thank all of you.

If it weren't for everyone here at Susan's Place, I would never have known where to begin, let alone how to navigate this journey on my own.

Susan's Place has been a guiding light for me, and I will be forever grateful.

There are too many names to list, but I know you know who you are, even those who are no longer active, or who never replied, yet whose stories I quietly read.

You've all helped me become who I am today, and as this journey continues to unfold to become who I always have been.

With all my heart.


Thank You!

~ Lilis 💗