I'm Christina, age 78 and my egg finally cracked in February this year. The recent high profile discussions around transgender rights prompted me to stumble upon this site and other similar ones. Suddenly the penny dropped and I realised that I am transgender.
While it is inconceivable that I can come out publically because of my long marriage, children, grandchildren and community, I am relieved and delighted to have finally found an explanation for a lifetime of gender confusion and ambiguity. I've found covert ways to explore and express my true self almost every day since February.
My story is, I think, a familiar one. I was a small, rather effeminate little boy, who never lived up to my father's hope for a son who would enjoy rugby and boxing, a "sissy". I was happier helping my mother cook and arrange the flowers in the local church. From age 7 until I was 18, I attended single-sex boarding schools, where I was very homesick and deeply unhappy. I disliked the rough-and-tumble of boyhood, felt alone much of the time and never made lasting friendships.
At university, I gravitated toward the company of girls, platonically rather than romantically, and I was never "one of the boys". I have always been shy and socially awkward and have never felt particularly masculine. I have had short, very private and rather shame-inducing periods of cross-dressing since childhood. The male sexual role has never felt natural or comfortable for me despite my long marriage and happy family life.
Since realising the truth of who I really am, I've found small ways to ease my gender dysphoria, pushing the boundaries of what is possible while remaining firmly in the closet. I've grown my hair and nails longer, kept my legs and arms shaven and wear a discreet bracelet. I moisturise daily, wear subtle foundation and tinted lip gloss and have quietly shifted my wardrobe to include more feminine jeans, shorts, and leggings. In private, I wear breast forms and occasionally go for drives or shopping in them.
I'm naturally rather androgynous looking and have occasionally been mis-gendered while in boymode, much to the amusement of my wife who has never suspected my secret delight.
It has been a joy to find this company and read the stories of so many like-minded people and at last find a community, albeit online, that I am comfortable with.

Welcome Christina!

I wear knee length skirts as proper attire on the golf course.  They reach my knees.  I don't have any proper golf shorts that reach my knees.
I have the legs to look good in skirts. I wear sleeveless polos when the weather gets hot.  They are predicting over 100 degrees today,

Marion

  @Christina152
Dear Christina:
It is great that you found us and felt the desire to become a member. 
I am so very glad that you had sent me an Email telling me about your difficulties setting up
your Susan's Place Forum member account so that I could assist you to finally being able to login.

First of all, I wish to give you a BIG and WARM  WELCOME to Susan's Place and the Forum.

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Welcome Christina!

Chrissy

Hi Christina

My name is Sarah and I would also like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

I see that other members of Susan's have also welcomed you as well.

Better late than never, Christina.  Your story is heartfelt and quietly powerful.  Like you, I never associated with the boys at school.  I felt different, more comfortable around girls and I never conformed to what was expected of me, I have always been an individual.

Susan's enlightened me no end.  I never spent years wondering or searching for understanding.  Once I changed my life around, I simply lived my life as a female.  There was no mystery left to solve after that.

I completely understand the little things you do each day to express your femininity.  Growing your hair, shaving your arms and legs, wearing feminine jeans or soft colours, even applying subtle makeup.  These are not small to us.  They are comforting, affirming and deeply personal.  For me, waxing has always been a better option.  But I do understand the need to be careful, especially when you are still keeping things private.  It can raise questions, especially from someone close like your wife.

That moment you described, being mis-gendered and your wife's amused reaction, was truly profound.  It shows how naturally your femininity shines through, even when you are not trying to be noticed.  That sort of moment says so much without needing to explain anything.  In other words just be yourself.

Even to this day, after years of simply being who I am, I still smile when people acknowledge my femininity.  It never gets old.  It is a quiet kind of joy that lives with you and stays with you.

You belong here, Christina.  Thank you for sharing your story so openly.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the other forums and threads.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members.

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these issues as well.

Please keep in mind when posting that this is an ALL AGES PUBLIC Forum and the internet never forgets.  Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Devlyn  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah  @Northern Star Girl  @Lori Dee
@Christina152

Welcome, Christina!

We are very happy to have you join us. We have thousands of guests who read our forum every day, and for whatever reason, they never register to become members. They are missing out! The site provides a wealth of valuable information, but as a member, you can also ask specific questions, comment on others' posts, and form friendships as well as receive support.

We look forward to seeing you around the forums.

Welcome to Susan's Place!

Hi, Christina. Welcome to Susan's Place.

Many of us are in our "later years" and have only recently realized who we really are. You are in good company here, and we're happy to have you join us.

Pema

Quote from: Christina152 on Yesterday at 04:35:17 AMI'm Christina, age 78 and my egg finally cracked in February this year.

......... It has been a joy to find this company and read the stories of so many like-minded people and at last find a community, albeit online, that I am comfortable with.

Hey Christina,

Welcome to Susan's Place! 💓

~ Lilis 🫂

Welcome, Christina! Better late than never! My egg cracked in my late sixties. But the beautiful people inside this place make me feel like Humpty Dumpty--unlike the king's horses and the king's men, they seem quite adept at helping me put myself back together.

Welcome  from Lancashire