Hi all, I'm a 49 year old male who feels that I should be a woman, since I was a teen I have worn lingerie and loved it, I always put this down to be a ->-bleeped-<-.
Over the years this progressed more to dressing fully as a woman in private, but then about 12 years ago I ended up in a relationship were my GF encouraged me to dress and after sometime we discussed trying blockers. So after much research I ordered online and started to take spironolactone for several months and after further chatting I added oestrogen to the equation. This continued for a couple of years, I still dress and acted as a man to the outside world, but I felt better about myself, a certain calmness but also excitement about the changes to my body, yes there was breast growth but also weight gain, but all was good.
Unfortunately the relationship fell apart and I was single after 10 years and then became quite conscious of my body and starting a new relationship with a woman. This lead to me stopping DIY HRT.
I'm now in a relationship again and although not taking hormones I still feel the same way, I have read lots of articles and feel that I should seek professional help to decide if I am transgender and if I should transition.
So today I have set the ball rolling, made contact with gender psychologist, hopefully I'll have my first appointment very soon.

Hi Tom, welcome to Susan's Place! You want to be really careful with HRT. Your body needs a sex hormone of one stripe or the other, without that you can start having problems... osteoporosis being problem #1.

Here's a copy of Da Rules to get you off to a good start. See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

---

Things that you should read

• New Members... Please Read this First
• Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By
• Standard Terms & Definitions
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
• News posting & quoting guidelines
• Photo, avatars, & signature images
• Site Policies and stuff to remember
• Cautionary Note
• Membership Agreement

---

Hi!


    Welcome Tom!



Chrissy

To clarify, being on Spiro may have resulted in your body no longer producing its own HRT. Please get yourself checked. 

Hugs, Devlyn

Hi Tom

My name is Sarah and I would also like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

I see that other members of Susan's have also welcomed you as well.

It sounds as though you have carried these feelings for most of your life and you have taken thoughtful steps to understand them.  There is never anything wrong with enjoying clothes that help you feel at ease; if wearing lingerie brings calm and happiness that is a healthy act of self expression.

Moving from online medication to supervised care is a wise decision.  Internet sources can vary in quality so working with a doctor will let you confirm purity and dosage while tracking any side effects.  Pausing DIY hormones was a responsible choice once you lost that oversight and it shows you are listening to your body.

I am sorry to hear that you and your long time girlfriend parted.  I have also lost a partner after many years and I know how painful that can be.  Please be gentle with yourself as you start this new chapter.  As you explore gender care again ask the therapist whether the clinic follows an informed consent model for hormones.  That pathway respects your autonomy yet still makes sure you receive the right medical screening.

It may also help to speak openly with your current girlfriend about how she feels toward gender variance.  Sharing goals and concerns early can build the trust you will both need if you decide to pursue treatment.

You have already taken an important first step by booking that appointment.  Keep gathering professional advice stay honest with your partner and progress at a pace that feels right for you.  Many here have walked similar paths and will be glad to support you.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the other forums and threads.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members.

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these issues as well.

Please keep in mind when posting that this is an ALL AGES PUBLIC Forum and the internet never forgets.  Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Devlyn  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah  @Northern Star Girl  @Lori Dee
@Tom75

Welcome to Susan's, Tom!

Hello, Tom! Welcome to Susan's Place. You'll find many like-minded folks here.

Pema

Hi and welcome to Susan's! I'm so happy to read that you are moving ahead with a gender specialist. That will help you better understand yourself and then decide on a path ahead. Please, though, do consult your physician to ensure all is well before you consider re-starting HRT. I know several women who tried the DIY approach and had near-disasters before moving to a physician-monitored approach.

Be well and be happy!

QuoteI'm now in a relationship again and although not taking hormones I still feel the same way, I have read lots of articles and feel that I should seek professional help to decide if I am transgender and if I should transition.

Welcome Aboard Tom75!

I hope you and the therapist can find the clarity you seek in these matters... full transition is just one of many answers on how to live with what you have felt for so very long... don't worry too much about what label to hang on yourself, transgender is a very large umbrella term and by what you wrote, I would say you already fit under it... labels often mean something a bit different to whoever uses and whoever hears them... focus more on the questions... What do I need and how do I need to arrange my life to make it an experience that serves well... to better connect me to myself... to others... to the world... and serve the needs of the soul within?

Your answers to these questions patiently await you and will be worth all your good efforts to seek out!

All good things to you as you find your way forward!

Onward!

Ashley 💕