"For patients born with a penis, a surgical procedure is performed to remove the penis (penectomy) and scrotum (orchiectomy). Patients will also need to undergo urethral shortening and repositioning. Once surgery and healing is complete, patients will have a smooth transition from the abdomen to the perineum, with only a small opening remaining for the urethra."

Has anyone here ever had this done? If so, how do you identify?

I was born male, but never thought of myself as a "man" for a number of reasons.

I'm technically bisexual, but I'm primarily attracted to masculine men and I've enjoyed occupying a "middle ground," so to speak, between male and female.

I had my orchi performed last year along with a scrotectomy and we're both very satisfied with the results.

I haven't had a single erection since then, and it's astonishing to look back on what I used to have and compare it with the little nub I now have.

My boyfriend is straight and I told him when we started dating that I was okay with him dating women,especially after he told me he wanted to eventually be a father. I encouraged him to date so he'd find a suitable mom. I made it clear I didn't want to get dragged into his relationship with her.

Well, earlier this month he told me they're expecting a baby! I congratulated him and I've driven him to the hospital and to/from her house. I hadn't intended it, but a long the way I had the chance to meet her, and I have to admit I really like her. Even though she's threw inches taller than me and therefore closer to his height. (At one point I felt like a kid talking with his parents at the dinner table!)

I even told her I'm sure she's going to make a great mom. He told me that she's relieved I'm okay with her. He reminded me I'd promised to care for his kids if he wound up having them, and now he is!

Anyway, I doubt I've have considered it even a year ago, but he asked me how much I cared about my nub. I told him it doesn't really serve a purpose anymore, besides allowing me to aim when I urinate. He told me he and his baby mama had discussed it, and she suggested I just have it removed completely.

I'm very open to the idea. I think having my urethra shortened and resectioned would be really neat. I'd love an end result that leaves my body as smooth as possible in the front, with only an imperceptibly small exit hole for my shortened urethra.

The greatest practical benefit would be gaining the ability to use female restrooms, which would obviously make childcare a lot easier. That really sold the idea for me. Having to pee sitting down and having an added risk of urinary infections are things I could live with.

It also seemed the best thing for us to do if I continue caring for the kids as they get older.

Has anyone ever tried this?

Also, he asked me for permission to tell her about our sex life. I told him sure, but that I didn't want to hear about theirs. She prefers it that way too.

I anticipate she's going to play an increasing role in his sex life going forward, which makes sense to me.

I'm curious why she asked about his sex life with me. I guess she just wants to make sure I'm not doing anything she would be surprised doing, like wearing a strap-on or something.

I've tried playing with his ass before and he's never let me do it to him. But I love it when he does it to me, because he's great at it. He's great at cunnilingus, too, which I could never do. I love giving head, but vaginas gross me out. He's told her, and she said "tell him they gross me out too!"

After surgery my prostate will be completely gone, so it'll never pose a cancer risk. I'm probably not going to be able to orgasm easily either. It'll be an adjustment but I'm looking forward to it.

It is good that all three of you are on the same page with all this.  Relationships are built on trust.  Some things are best unsaid.  It sounds like he is able to balance the two.

Looking at this thread, I see Maid Marion has addressed the relationship dynamics. What strikes me is that this is a major, irreversible surgical decision being driven largely by other people's suggestions rather than your own medical needs or gender identity.

A few concerning elements: You mention the decision came from your boyfriend and his partner's discussion about your body, with her specifically suggesting removal. The primary justification seems to be practical (bathroom access for childcare) rather than addressing gender dysphoria or personal wellbeing.

Before considering penectomy, it would be wise to work with a qualified mental health professional experienced in gender issues. This isn't because there's anything wrong with gender nullification, but because permanent surgical decisions deserve careful exploration of motivations and expectations.

Some questions worth reflecting on: Are you choosing this procedure because it aligns with your authentic self, or primarily to accommodate others' preferences and practical needs? Have you fully considered the medical risks and long-term implications? What happens to your sense of self if this relationship dynamic changes?

The fact that you're asking about identity suggests you're still working through these questions yourself. Taking time for that process, rather than rushing into surgery based on others' input, seems prudent.

Wishing you clarity as you navigate this decision!
— Susan