Hi everyone. I think I've heard a few times before that being both transgender and on the autism spectrum isn't all that uncommon. I don't know if there's some relation or it's just pure coincidence.

To make a long story short I am an MtF with asperger's. Clothing fabrics and certain textures was always a big deal with me. I have sensory issues primarily related to certain feels/touches. That's my main thing really. It's like I have more electrical activity in the brain than a neurotypical person but a very high pain tolerance because of it. (I think that actually serves me well as a MtF.) Besides that I am high functioning in every other way. Most people wouldn't even know unless I told them.

This was just a little about me but I am interested if there is anyone else on this spectrum? What are your main struggles and does it serve you well/not well?

If anyone wants to comment anything they know in relation to asperger's and being transgender feel free.

My wife thought I was on the spectrum but it was just being in the Uncanny valley between male and female that makes socializng difficult.  It is hard for people to socialize when they can't compute your gender. 

does not compute. does not compute. does not compute

It is much easier to socialize when I present female with colors like pink or print patterns like florals.

Yesterday a guy complemented me on my pink bucket hat.  I had trouble keeping it on in windy weather even with a stay cord so I washed it and shrunk it down so it fits really well now.

Marion

@CosmicJoke I am also have what used to be called Asperger's and for me the density of clothing really trips me.  I try to describe it like having an allergic reaction 24/7 and needing to do something to get rid of that reaction.  Unfortunately some in my family (including those with science degrees and work with autistic children) do not understand how fabrics can trip me and say that that's not a scientific reason for dressing as a woman and I should dress and act like a man, and just tough it out.  Its even worse when they don't get that because of my heatstroke years ago I no longer have the strength like I was, to shove it to the back of my brain.

Quote from: Maid Marion on August 24, 2025, 04:34:32 PMMy wife thought I was on the spectrum but it was just being in the Uncanny valley between male and female that makes socializng difficult.  It is hard for people to socialize when they can't compute your gender. 

does not compute. does not compute. does not compute

It is much easier to socialize when I present female with colors like pink or print patterns like florals.

Yesterday a guy complemented me on my pink bucket hat.  I had trouble keeping it on in windy weather even with a stay cord so I washed it and shrunk it down so it fits really well now.

Marion

Marion,

Is you comfort about equally the same with men and women when you socialize presenting female with the pleasant colors?

Chrissy

Yes, I have no difficulty socializing with either men or women when presenting female.
 
Marion

Quote from: Maid Marion on August 24, 2025, 07:11:11 PMYes, I have no difficulty socializing with either men or women when presenting female.
 
Marion

That is nice.


Chrissy

Quote from: CosmicJoke on August 24, 2025, 03:23:22 PMI am interested if there is anyone else on this spectrum?

My wife told me a few years ago that she thinks I am probably on the autism spectrum.  I think she is probably not wrong.

I remember many years ago when I first learned about autism, I thought that the milder versions of it didn't sound like any kind of syndrome at all.  They just sounded normal to me.  Which, in light of my wife's amateur "diagnosis", makes sense.

Quote from: Maid Marion on August 24, 2025, 07:11:11 PMYes, I have no difficulty socializing with either men or women when presenting female.
 
Marion

I am at times uncomfortable being with some women when I get a feeling they are looking me over a lot.  Scrutinizing me more than just seeing what I was wearing, which is not bad as I quickly see what about every woman around me is wearing.  I just sense a deep scan!  Guys can stare, but women do not stare that way, not at me typically at least.  It is different.

Often I can work myself out of that feeling but it can be an uneasy situation until I do.

The only times I want to be "checked out" is by the cashiers at stores, and that "checking out" is only to pay for something.

As male I was diagnosed Asperger with the comment "severely affected".  As female most people say they can't see any signs of Autism in me.  I do find social activity more tiring than most people seem to, which is one of the indications.