It sounds like your friend is a selfless person putting the family ahead of her goals. I don't have any suggestions on the family relations as that involves consequence of a personal nature that only she can weigh. However I don't understand what her problems are with the VA, but I can relate my positive experience with them.
Quote from: gina_taylorShe was telling me on a good note that I'm better off with transitioning than she is, because of the problems involved with the VA and name changes and so forth.
Just as in the rest of the medical community there are VA doctors who will balk at treating transsexuals. However when VA doctors are willing to treat a transsexual patient, the VA doesn't balk at paying for anything short of SRS FFS or BA surgery. I have been using the VA for going on four years now and am very impressed with the quality of care.
Apparently the VA didn't know I was transsexual on my first visit to the clinic for my initial evaluation physical—although it was in my record had they looked closer—and the doctor thouroghly shocked me. While the nurse was taking my vitals he was reading my transferred records with a hmm here and there. Then he announced in an accusatory tone the lack of pap smears and breast exams in my record.
After an awkward moment or two of explaining that I was a pre-op transsexual, both the doctor and the nurse seemed to undersand and I've had no problems getting treatment either at the clinic or when he sent me to the hospital in Madison for extensive tests that were beyond the clinics lab. I did tell the doctor after the explanation was over that I could have just waited until he had me up in the stirups and let him find out for himself. The three of us were busting up laughing for a bit at that.
Your friend may have to find a different VA doctor, possibly even at a different clinic, if her present doctor balks. As there are far fewer endocrinologists than general practitioners, the only two VA connected in my area refused to see me. One even told my doctor to "jump in a lake," when he heard I was TS. Fortunately he knew an endocrinologist who was a friend in another area that he consulted with, and occasionally still does (i.e. when he switched my spiro to proscar).
On my limited imcome, if not for the VA I don't think I could even afford hrt. With an annual means evaluation, I pay a $7 co-pay for each of my 3 month supply of prescriptions—delivered to my door no less—and $15 for any doctor call or visit to the hospital. There are just a few more major things where I would have to cough up $50.
Sandi
