Trans parent, gay son: pride across the generations
by Dana Rudolph
contributing writer
Thursday May 29, 2008

http://www.baywindows.com/index.php?ch=columnists&sc=mombian&id=75123

"There's a huge difference between being gay and being trans," affirms LGBT activist and parent Marti Abernathey. Many would agree, but Abernathey has a rare perspective: she is transgender, and has a gay son. Despite their differences, though, she feels they share a certain bond: "In the whole coming out process there are a lot of similarities. I think his understanding of that has helped him understand where I'm at. And vice versa." Abernathey has one child from each of two previous marriages.

Eighteen-year-old Nik has lived with her for three years, after his mother kicked him out when he told her he was gay. "He came out in a small middle school in Indiana and did that all on his own," Abernathey says with a parent's pride. "He is one of the strongest kids I've ever seen in my entire life. Where we live in Indiana is not the most liberal place in the world. It's not Massachusetts. His freshman year in high school, on his own initiative he decided to ask his boyfriend to go with him to homecoming. That's just not done here. As far as I can tell, he's always been proud of who he is."