Made it to my first therapy session yesterday I did everything I could to talk myself out of going but in the end I went  and am very glad I did. After a night of almost no sleep and a very nervous drive I made it there and walked in. I was shaking at this point I think I came close to having my first anxiety attack. The reason I was to nervous was I have promised myself to deal with my issues this time and not run from them and In a way I am terrified about what I might learn about myself since I am going to face it head on.
Well my therapist turned out to be one of the nicest people I have met in a long time and  all the nervousness and stuff went away after talking to her for just a few mins. Our first session was a evaluation and we spent most of the time talking about family, my past history and what got me there to see her. Once I started talking it was kind of like opening the flood gates on a dam I just keep on and keep on talking then wow the session was over. I could have sat there talking for hours longer I think. Even though this is just a first session talking to someone face to face about this really seem to  make me feel better. When I got home I feel so tired and just emotionally drained I ate dinner and went to bed. A lot of that was from not sleeping the night before I think. At this point I am actually looking forward to the next session and have joined a local support group as well.
Right now I am still not sure where this path is gong to take me but at least I am not going around in circles anymore like I have been for the better part of my life.

Thank you to everyone that suggested I find a therapist  with out that little push I prolly would not have gone *hugs you all*
Krystal

Good for you!  The first session is sort of a funny one because you build it all up in your mind, but it really isn't a big deal.  It's mostly just a chance for the therapist to get some information on your medical and personal history.  This will continue for about another 2 or 3 sessions.  Interesting things come up when you get going about your past though.  You'd think that something really minor might take 2 seconds to mention, but you might wind up talking about it for 20 minutes. 
Don't give up!  It is really important that you stick with the therapy.  It's great that you've promised yourself to deal with it this time.  That's the best attitude to have. 
Congratulations!

Oh yea! As an androgynous minded person with problems, I can identify with you. I'm mainly just really scared to see a therapist for fear they won't see the true problem with me or worse that I don't have a problem. Now you, you sound like you really do have a serious problem. I mean when I meet my therapist, I'm probably gonna run out of things to say. Essentially, I'm not a serious problem as I thought I was before. Anyway, congrats on surviving your first therapy session.

Congratulations Krystal! It's amazing how much pressure talking about it can relieve.

Quote from: polymorphic on May 28, 2008, 11:39:35 AMI mean when I meet my therapist, I'm probably gonna run out of things to say.

I know the feeling! I don't feel horribly conflicted or upset or depressed in general. I know what my options are and I've already done plenty of soul searching, so therapy at times feels like taking a French class after living in France for a few years -- why bother? But there are lots of loose ends to tie up and lots of synthesizing what I've already mostly figured out; idioms, irregular cases, details of the subjunctive mood and whatnot. Therapy doesn't tend to be dull.

~Alyssa

I'm weird...I enjoy my therapy sessions.

I can talk to someone who understands, who can help me, who does help me, etc.  Every time I leave I feel like I've left more crap behind and feel like a new man.  It's very therapeutic.  My friends and family don't understand this stuff.

For the first time I can be myself and no one is judging me.

Jay

Good for you Krystal!  I recently had my first therapy session as well & I know exactly what you're going through.  Like you I didn't think that I'd have enough to say to cover an hour & I was nervous and of course reluctant to even go.  I found my therapist to be extremely supportive & once I started talking about my gender issues, I easily found enough to talk about.  I felt so much better after talking to him & I'm looking forward to my next visit. 

Donna

lol... you guys only got an hour for your first session??? i get three!!! one or paperwork and two for the interview process, well we'll just have to see how things go, i get to go Monday, late but i get to go.



Warrior Princess,
Mickie

Thanks Y'all
Talking must have helped me more than I realized since I got more done at work the last three days than in the whole last 3 weeks combined. I am very tired today but its a good tired. At this point I am very much looking forward to the next session in a few weeks.
Krystal

Krystal, GREAT job on going to the therapist.  Look at it this way.  You're not going to get graded, ridiculed, or to convinced to be someone you don't want to be. You are going to talk to someone that cares.  As bad a rap as some shrinks get, if they did not want to help people (forget about their agendas for a moment) they would not be doing this.  Lucky for them, they get paid to do this stuff.  Anybody else you talk to would just want you to conform.

Aeron