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How do you feel about society's expectations of your gender?

Started by Nero, May 30, 2008, 05:56:52 PM

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Nero

Do you feel pressure to conform to gender expectations? Expectations of the sex you transitioned to, not your birth sex.
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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Beyond

No.  I am me.  That's the whole reason I transitioned to begin with (to be me).
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Gracie Faise

I am a girl who blasts gangster rap out her car, majors in game art and design, and isn't afraid to talk about sex and sexuality. I feel no pressure to conform. Perhaps this is because I goto a private school that is full of cultural deviants who salutes my differences rather than shake their head at it, but I have yet to be discouraged to be such a wierdo/tomboy/goofy girl/whatever.

But then again, this is all behavioral. I still look and dress like your average girl so...


Oh, but my mom always makes me dress "nice" if we go out somewhere, so maybe that counts?
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Jamie-o

No.  I refuse to claw my way out of one box, just to jump into another.  Even if I turn out to be the girliest guy in America, that's O.K.  (Not that that will happen.  I've met a number of natal guys who are much girlier than I am.  :P)
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const

Quote from: Gracie FAISE on May 30, 2008, 06:46:36 PM
I am a girl who blasts gangster rap out her car, majors in game art and design, and isn't afraid to talk about sex and sexuality. I feel no pressure to conform. Perhaps this is because I goto a private school that is full of cultural deviants who salutes my differences rather than shake their head at it, but I have yet to be discouraged to be such a wierdo/tomboy/goofy girl/whatever.

Amen to that! I'm sorry I just couldn't help myself. Please forgive me for my sinful ways.
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cindybc

Hi Gracie FAISE I like driving around with with the windows rolled down with loud rock music on the radio. But I kind of toned it down some with Wing Walker, she is not a fan of loud rock music, she prefers oldies music. Music she says that is probably older then you are. But what the heck I still feel like a kid.

I use to drive around with the three kids I had in my care with the radio cranked and we would all sing at the top of our voices, Ahhhh but that was the good days. I just simply love life and will for as long as I possibly can.

Cindy
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Gracie Faise

Quote from: cindybc on May 30, 2008, 07:05:08 PM
Hi Gracie FAISE I like driving around with with the windows rolled down with loud rock music on the radio. But I kind of toned it down some with Wing Walker, she is not a fan of loud rock music, she prefers oldies music. Music she says that is probably older then you are. But what the heck I still feel like a kid.

I use to drive around with the three kids I had in my care with the radio cranked and we would all sing at the top of our voices, Ahhhh but that was the good days. I just simply love life and will for as long as I possibly can.

Cindy

According to my friend I listen to weird things. If you here anything coming out of my car it is soundtracks to video games, strange underground stuff like Nerd Rap, etc. Im to bored with the radio :"0 at least the music. radio talk shows kick ass though
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Elwood

Let's see...

Well, I am into drama. I am over dramatic. Sometimes, I can be a bit flamboyant. Other times, I do fit the "handy-man" stereotype, liking my cars, machines, gadgets, cop shows, etc. But in all honesty, I am most bothered by the fact that everyone seems to be hung up on the size of a man's penis. I don't even have one, so what does that make me? It's really annoying... If they're going to take a man for face value, why do they care what's in his pants? Unless men have dicks on their faces now that I don't know about?

I don't really meet the social expectations. Flirting with guys is one of my downfalls. It just makes people see me as a girl more, which annoys me. If I'm going to make whoopie with some guy, he better let me express my masculinity or it's not going to work.

I'd say in personality, clothing, etc. I'm quite androgynous. I wear suits a lot, but quite... gayly. And maybe it's just the goofy look on my face but I often just come off as very "queer" whether a person thinks I'm a boy or a girl...

I'm into musical theater... singing... it's one of the things I'll be sacrificing when I start T, as my singing voice will drastically change.

I'd say the most... radical thing I do outside of my gender role for my target sex is that I am trying out make up. But really for theater purposes... so plenty of straight, cisgendered guys do that. I guess another thing that isn't very masculine about me is that I have a really girly bed, with flowers and stuff on it. Not like that really matters... Otherwise. everything about me is quite genderless, such as my collecting hobby. I collect bottle caps, guitar picks, glass bottles, mint tins... etc. Junk.

OH. And I care very much about fashion/matching. I am not into mainstream fashion (like "WHAT'S HOT") but rather old/vintage fashion. I like to dress like I was blasted out of the 70's or 80's...

I'm rambling. I'd say I fit fairly well into my gender role for my target sex but... I don't really do it on purpose.

I hate FORCED gender roles, and I want to stick a spork in anyone's eye who says someone isn't "trans enough" because they don't fit their target sex's gender role. Gender identity isn't about that!
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Shana A

When I lived as male, I never conformed to societal gender expectations for men. And I often paid a price for that. When I transitioned, same thing, I didn't have any desire to exchange one box of gender rules that didn't fit for another set that seemed just as constrained. Now, as androgyne, I enjoy freedom to simply be myself, outside any gender construct. If anyone comes up with rules for how to be a proper androgyne, I'll reject them. I know... I'm a pain  ;) :laugh:

Zythyra
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." Oscar Wilde


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Nero

Quote from: Zythyra on May 30, 2008, 08:48:01 PM
When I lived as male, I never conformed to societal gender expectations for men. And I often paid a price for that. When I transitioned, same thing, I didn't have any desire to exchange one box of gender rules that didn't fit for another set that seemed just as constrained. Now, as androgyne, I enjoy freedom to simply be myself, outside any gender construct. If anyone comes up with rules for how to be a proper androgyne, I'll reject them. I know... I'm a pain  ;) :laugh:

Zythyra

*drafting up androgyne rules*
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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Shana A

Quote from: Nero on May 30, 2008, 08:52:17 PM
*drafting up androgyne rules*

I just knew that some wise guy would suggest such a thing  ;)

Well, I won't read those rules, nah, nah  :P  >:D

Z
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." Oscar Wilde


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tekla

Guy rule one.  Conforming to the norm is for guys who are not really good at something.  Being really good overrules having to conform.  Andros who are good can be male or female and still be 'one of the guys.'

Guy rule two.  Guys don't do rules, as a general rule.

FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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Elwood

I kind of resent that statement. Masculinity does not mean no talent. Just look at Mr. Chase.



That would be the naked update.
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Nero

Quote from: Elwood on May 30, 2008, 09:19:12 PM
I kind of resent that statement. Masculinity does not mean no talent. Just look at Mr. Chase.

I don't think Tekla was saying that. Masculinity does not equal conforming.
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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Elwood

Quote from: Nero on May 30, 2008, 09:28:07 PM
Quote from: Elwood on May 30, 2008, 09:19:12 PMI kind of resent that statement. Masculinity does not mean no talent. Just look at Mr. Chase.

I don't think Tekla was saying that. Masculinity does not equal conforming.
Good eye. Caught me tripping over my own feet.

I don't conform, necessarily, but I sure look like I do. I guess that's why I'm being defensive. I know I'm not a no-talent even though I blend into a crowd of young men.
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Shana A

Quote from: tekla on May 30, 2008, 09:03:54 PM
Guy rule two.  Guys don't do rules, as a general rule.

Guy rule three. If there are rules, guys won't read the manual  :laugh:

Z
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." Oscar Wilde


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Elwood

Quote from: Zythyra on May 30, 2008, 09:36:07 PMGuy rule three. If there are rules, guys won't read the manual  :laugh:

Z
Unless you're Egon.



Then you read them all.

Sometime we question whether he's a boy or a robot.
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Nero

Quote from: Elwood on May 30, 2008, 09:31:40 PM
Quote from: Nero on May 30, 2008, 09:28:07 PM
Quote from: Elwood on May 30, 2008, 09:19:12 PMI kind of resent that statement. Masculinity does not mean no talent. Just look at Mr. Chase.

I don't think Tekla was saying that. Masculinity does not equal conforming.
Good eye. Caught me tripping over my own feet.

I don't conform, necessarily, but I sure look like I do. I guess that's why I'm being defensive. I know I'm not a no-talent even though I blend into a crowd of young men.

yeah masculinity and overinflated machismo are two different things. a guy can wear pink and be masculine (well according to me anyway) :laugh:
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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tekla

a guy can wear pink and be masculine (well according to me anyway)

According to me too. 
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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Elwood

Oh, I agree with that. REAL MEN WEAR PINK. ;D I want that shirt... Love it.
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