ok, i have a very unique situation especially at work. i am out as ts to most of the older associates. some of the older associates have always seen me as female, and then of course newer associates all they see is female. some of the associates(female of course) aren't comfortable with me using the ladies, this weekend i really have no other choice, as my shop bathroom is broke and the family restroom i would use since i have no letter, but the lock is broken and another associate almost got locked in so i'm terribly afraid to use it. my other option is to go to mcdonald's and i dont think that is fair to me or my productivity at work. my gay boss, says he doesn't see an issue with it as i am female and that is the restroom i should use no matter how uncomfortable they feel and should come talk to him. i tried to get ahold of my therapist, but he didn't return my calls. my other boss wants me to wait till i get a letter with medical validation and i can't see my therapist till next month due to having the kids and it may get worse as they may put my so on bed rest.

any advice?

Warrior Princess,
Mickie

Posted on: 24 May 2008, 08:51:57

---

well i never thought i'd do this or possibly anyone else for that matter. post a response to my own post..lol. i called and called the 24 hr crisis hotline since they don't re-open until tuesday. i told her my situation. she said as long as i haven't gotten a fight or have some physical defect or some other wierd concoction you know like a felony involving a restroom or something like that i should be fine, if the girls are uncomfortable then they need to take it up with the boss and they need to deal with it. everybody on here knows what i look like now for the most part and i have never had a problem anywhere else, work shouldn't be any different as far as i am concerned. she said my one boss was behind me and that should be good enough. thought i would update everyoneon my situation.

so the ladies are just going to have to suck it up and get over it.

case closed.

thanks all,
Warrior Princess,
Mickie

And well you should be using the appropriate restroom for your Gender. At least thats what my therapist advises and what she more or less declared in my "letter"

I view the letter more as a "get out of jail card" then anything else. I would say that at my age I wouldnt have to worry about that, but it seems the world is also full of "older perverts" and I really dont fancy spending a night there. Ive put a few in there in my life and dont care to join them now.

So hold your head up and do what is natrural for you to do. "Go Pee"

Wendy

Micki, I wouldn't put TOO much faith in how much your boss stands behind you.  Most bosses, in my experience anway, are diplomats at heart.  That's their job, to make sure everyone "gets along".  That means that he could put under some pressure by simple questions from higher'ups, like "what do  you think is reasonable?".  Being that his job matters more than anyone else there (just assuming here), he might reason with them.  I'd get a written letter OK'd by HR, as soon as possible.

I have never cared.

But you're a girl, dang it! What's their problem? Why do people have such a hard time understand that transgendered people ARE their genders?

You're not a man looking out to sexually harass these women. You're a girl who needs to go pee.

Geez. I hate how people sometimes act so ignorant... it looks like they're doing it on purpose.

now i can do it again...lol. post to my own post and have it look like someone else but not be someone else. confused? i hope not..lol

well, the situation isn't getting too much better. i think bad and good have come together and crashed. as of unofficially today, i won't have a store manager, he's leaving supposedly for another reason, but i can't help but feel a part of it being my fault. plus, i have associates who i haven't seen for months still referring to me improperly in front of customers and then the customers complain to management about "the pervert" because they don't understand. the federal policy is called THE PATH OF LEAST ASTONISHMENT solidified in Cruzan vs. Davis June 2002. i wouldn't have any kind of problem if people referred to me properly and i didn't have to go across the street to use the proper bathroom. i wore a skirt for the first time on the clock yesterday and everyone that knows was concerned about my safety and told me and another girl that we were no longer allowed to wear them but skorts were fine of appropriate length. i was offended and touched all at the same time. the women are afraid i'm going to do something to them in the bathroom and they are afraid somebody's going to do something to me outside of it.

touched and offended and worried
Warrior Princess Mickie

I could see that wearing a skirt, or anything that was loose and flowing, around machinery is a safety issue.  My union's work rule prohibit men and/or women from wearing skirts or dresses at work.

ahh, it's because we go up and down a ladder, and then the boss said the other girl was man hungry...lol. i'm just happy she is treating both of us fairly.


Warrior Princess Mickie

Quote from: The Only Warrior Princess Mickie on June 02, 2008, 12:55:24 PM
plus, i have associates who i haven't seen for months still referring to me improperly in front of customers...

Can you (with managements approval) or management themselves let everyone you work with know of your change? The thing about "coming out" is IMHO you really can't do it partway... ya gotta sit back and think, "hmmm, who do I need to tell?" make a list, and start informing *everyone* from coworkers, associates, all business contacts, friends and family, neighbors, etc. Otherwise, these awkward situations will keep popping up.

Quotethe women are afraid i'm going to do something to them in the bathroom and they are afraid somebody's going to do something to me outside of it.

I wonder what your coworkers have been told? It doesn't sound like management has done a great job of explaining what's going on

~Kate~

unfortunately, Kate it seems like it is going to be up to me to educate these people on my own as to not out myself to others who see me as female. in the end i think i am going to have to leave before i get fired by the new store manager as this crappy state of ohio has no protection for me.

Warrior Princess Mickie

Mickie,
Is it possible to have a meeting with all the other employees and explain what is going on? Answer any questions that sort of thing?

Love,
Janet

P.S. I'm dense what does IMHO means ?

Quote from: Janet Lynn on June 03, 2008, 09:38:32 PM
P.S. I'm dense what does IMHO means ?

Janet,

IMHO = In My Humble Opinion

IMO = In My Opinion

HTH (Hope that helps) 

Z

thank You Z.

I'm not a texter, in fact I don't even have a cell phone.

Love,
Janet

Quote from: Janet Lynn on June 03, 2008, 09:51:38 PM
thank You Z.

I'm not a texter, in fact I don't even have a cell phone.

Love,
Janet

I text rarely, but I'm still not up on text speak.  Unfortunately (thanks to those silly cell phone commercials) my kids have started to speak text... as in idk, dot-dot-dot etc.

It's happened...I'm the uncool parent!!  LOL

Jay

Quote from: Janet Lynn on June 03, 2008, 09:51:38 PM
thank You Z.

I'm not a texter, in fact I don't even have a cell phone.

Love,
Janet

Janet, I don't have a cell phone either... and no intention of getting one anytime soon. I know the abbreviations because I do use email a lot.

Zythyra

unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be any hope of meeting one on one with other associates, i was stil waiting to hear an answer from corporate about it, but never got it, but my one assistant manager was supportive of it and i just really have no idea how well it would go over if the store manager is completely unresponsive or unsupportive of me. noboday has any idea who will be replacing him, so we are walking on eggshells. it's just terrible....


Warrior Princess Mickie