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Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Started by Annie Social, April 23, 2006, 01:47:09 PM

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Annie Social

Well, it appears I may finally be a little bit closer to being able to go full-time; I have my first job interview as myself Tuesday afternoon.

The company's founder is known to be somewhat liberal, and the position does not require me to deal with the general public, so I'm somewhat more confident than if it were otherwise. Still, I can't deny my nervousness. This would make such a huge difference in my life...

They don't know of my TS status yet; I intend making things clear early in the interview (if they haven't figured it out for themselves by then!). I discussed this with my therapist and several friends, and they all agreed that it would be better for them to actually meet me first than to give them a chance to reject me sight unseen.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this, or advice on how to handle the situation? I'd greatly appreciate any insights you may have.

Annie
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stephanie_craxford

I agree Annie.

Starting out they way you intend to finish is the best way to go.  Being honest and up front with them at the interview will demonstrate your strength of character, your integrity, your honesty and your resolve.  The other issue you will need to explain is what and who you are to allay any fears they could have over hiring a transsexual, after all it's not everyday that we apply for work.  Keep the explanation simple and brief, covering points such as what transsexuals are and are not, how it will not interfere with your performance, or the performance of the company, that the company will not incur any medical costs, etc, etc.  There is no risk to them.

You may also want to look at the article in the Wiki Coming Out at the Workplace.  There is a lot of information there about issues that employers would need to resolve, or simply be aware of.

No need for keeping fingers crossed Annie, personally, based on your participation at Susan's alone, I think you would be a definite asset to any employer who hired you.

Good luck Annie

Steph
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NightAngel

I'm way behind you Annie, I got my first apointment at my therapist in May so I can hardly give you some seriously advice except that I agree with Stephanie. Specially on this one:

QuoteNo need for keeping fingers crossed Annie, personally, based on your participation at Susan's alone, I think you would be a definite asset to any employer who hired you.

Good luck Annie,

* :icon_hug:*

Michelle
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Chaunte

Annie,

We're rooting for you 100%  Best of luck!

Chaunte
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Dennis

Go Annie :)

I concur with what Steph said, present the issue as you would like it heard. Reassure them if necessary that it won't interfere with your work performance (in fact, it will likely improve it, feeling more yourself). I found it helpful to emphasize the 'diagnosis' part - ie: it's not just a whim, I have been diagnosed with GID.

And I agree that you'd be an asset to any employer based on what I've read of your posts on Susan's.

Dennis
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Jillieann Rose

Go Annie go.
I believe it's good to be honest and up front about it or it will come back to bite you later in the you know where.
Show them what kind of a woman you are Annie. A real go getter.
:)
Jillieann
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HelenW

Please accept my best wishes, Annie!

Knock on wood!  (Helen winces as she hits herself in the head)

* hee hee *

FKA: Emelye

Pronouns: she/her

My rarely updated blog: http://emelyes-kitchen.blogspot.com

Southwestern New York trans support: http://www.southerntiertrans.org/
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Annie Social

Wow... what can I say?

Thank you all for the kind and encouraging words. I always knew that I would inform them early on; the only question was whether to say something during the email-and-phone-call phase, or wait until the interview itself. I think I've made the right choice.

Thank you Stephanie for reminding me of that section of the Wiki; it had been a while since I had seen it, and it really is helpful. I've taken a section of the "transition package" there and modified it into a one-page sheet I can leave with them after the interview.

Dennis, that's a great point about emphasising 'diagnosis'. I've taken it a step farther and minimized the use of the term 'transsexual'; it unfortunately has become a loaded word. I'm playing up the GID angle instead.

I'm also planning to point out that, while I'm asking them to jump through some hoops for me (pending name change, the restroom situation), I would undoubtedly be one of the most loyal employees they've ever had!

Thanks again to everyone; I'll keep you posted. And keep those fingers crossed!

Annie
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Sheila

Annie,
Stephanie is right on. Be honest with your future employer. I have heard that most companies really don't care one way or the other, just be the same person you started out as. You identified as a female, don't change in midstream, I know that won't happen. I really don't think anything will be an issue. Maybe the restroom for a while but help them out. Keep an open mind and do what it takes to get the job. After a while they will embrace you for who you are. This is like any other new employee,new kid on the block.
Sheila
PS go get em girl
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jaded

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Melissa

Good luck Annie.  I'm glad you have the courage to do that.  I personally think it's a really smart plan, but my situation doesn't allow me to do that.  So, hopefully plan B will work for me, which is coming out at my new employer in a few months or later.  I hope you get the job.

Melissa
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madison

I have to say it sounds like you have an excellent strategy.

You wowed them with your resume, experience, and phone interview. Now go do it at the interview.

My only advice would be to be honest, but don't say more than you need to all at once. Once you have fully disclosed your diagnosis with them, let them ask the questions, even encourage them to ask them, but maybe don't offer up too much extra information that first day. My only concern would be getting into that situation, everything is going along fine, they are receptive, and then I start blabbering on about how happy that they are willing to work with me, and even though you will have to jump through hoops for me, I will be the most loyal employee. And then they start asking, "hoops, what hoops?" Like Stephanie pointed out, simply make it clear that there is no risk, no downside to hiring you, and leave it at that. You are a valuable human resource, and the more ordinary your situation seems to them, the more ordinary they will receive it. I haven't read over the wiki article mentioned in a while, but if I remember correctly, there is a lot of information there, that while it is important, might be better left to orientation day, instead of interview day. That is unless they ask before then.

That is my two cents.

As far as I am concerned you are a beautiful rebel activist paving the way for all the girls who will come after you.

Hope that makes sense.

Best of luck Annie. Find your day especially well.
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Annie Social

Again, thanks to everyone... I'm heading out the door in 5 minutes, and I'm nervous as hell, but I'm also confident. If it doesn't work out, it's their loss.

I'll report back this evening!

Annie


Posted at: 25 April 2006, 14:21:26

Well, the interview went well!

No one gave me any funny looks, no one screamed, "That's a guy!" when I walked into the corporate offices, and the person I was interviewing only seemed interested in me as a potential employee. We talked for quite a while about qualifications, experience, and people we both know in the industry; he never brought up the issue. When I finally did, telling him my legal name and explaining my situation briefly, he seemed legitimately sympathetic.

They are interviewing 16 people this week, and should know something by the middle of next week. He promised they would be in contact whatever the decision, and as I left, he was reading over the information sheet I had left him.

I left with the impression that my gender really won't be an issue; even after I brought it up, the questions were about salary issues and software perferences, not bathrooms and name changes. Overall, I feel good about it. I think I did everything right, and even if I don't get the job, I'll know I got a fair hearing.

I guess I'll have to ask everyone to keep your fingers crossed just a little bit longer; so far, it seems to be working!

Annie
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carol_w

How absolutely awesome!!!  I'm so glad it went well for you.  That has to do wonders for your self-confidence in presenting yourself.....  And if you don't get this one, you'll know that you can go to an interview as yourself. 

I certainly hope you get the job!!

Best wishes, Annie.

Carol
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Sarah Louise

That is great Anne, see sometimes you do get a fair hearing from the corporate world.

Sarah L.
Nameless here for evermore!;  Merely this, and nothing more;
Tis the wind and nothing more!;  Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore!!"
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Dennis

Annie, that's wonderful news!

Do keep us posted about it. If nothing else, it's a positive experience with which to bolster yourself if you do have to continue the employment hunt. And, best case scenario, sounds like you will get a really good place to work if you do get the job :)

Dennis
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stephanie_craxford

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madison

We are all with you. You must be so proud of yourself. You deserve a prize AND the job!

Merry day.
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Jillieann Rose

Well done and I will do Anne.
Jillieann
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Annie Social

Jeez... you guys amaze me. The outpouring of support here is nothing short of amazing, and I'm saying this on an amazing day.

I've been out in public before, but this was public. I was so encouraged by the whole experience that immediately after the interview, I went to the bank & cashed a check, then went shopping at Wally World. Not a single hassle or bad experience.

I'm not saying that I passed; I've said before that I don't believe I'll ever be 100% passable (is anyone really that confident?); I'm sure there was some whispering going on behind my back, and a few looks being passed back and forth, but I've always said that if I can leave people in enough doubt that no one says anything about it, I'd be happy. Well, I'm happy!

This was the most liberating day I've had since my first meeting with my therapist, the first time I ever told anyone who I really was. I want to thank you all for being a big part of it with all your love and encouragement; it wouldn't have happened without you.

Annie
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