Feel free to extend this riff:

Whitey: Hey Beaver, Eddie Haskell says you're a girl!
Theodore: I am not!
Whitey: Are so!
Clarence 'Lumpy' Rutherford: You are kind of a sissy, Theodore.
Whitey and Lumpy: Beaver's A Gir-l Beaver's A Gir-l
Wally: Hey you guys, cut it out. You're not a girl are ya Beav.
Theodore: uh hey Wally?
(Wally gives his brother a little punch on the shoulder.) Yeah Beav.
Theodore: Well, maybe I AM a girl - kinda sorta...
Wally: Well that's just goofy Beav.
Theodore: Didn't you ever wonder what it'd be like, you know, to be a girl and all?
Wally: I donno Beaver, I never really thought about it. Heh, you're one goofy little brother.
...

Cut to Mom, in bedroom, looking bewildered: "Gee!  I wonder how my lingerie drawer got so disordered!  BEAVER ! ? !"

canned laughter -
June: Wally, could you come in here for a second?
Wally: Yeah mom?
June: I'm worried about the Beaver. Have you noticed anything odd about him lately?
Wally: Mom, the Beav always acts funny if ya ask me.
canned laughter -
(Enter Ward at front door)
Ward: Honey I'm home.
canned laughter -
...

(from kitchen) June: Wally and I are in the kitchen.

(Ward hangs overcoat on coat rack and begins to head towards the kitchen as Beaver comes running down the stairs clutching a duffle bag to his chest, the Beaver runs right into Ward)

Ward: Where are you going in such a hurry Beav'?
Beaver: Oh, uh, hi dad. I didn't see you there.
Ward: I could see that. Now where are you off to, dinner will be ready soon.
Beaver: Well, I, uh, me and Timmy down the street were going to, ya know, talk about some school stuff.

(Beaver is holding the duffle bag tighter to his chest)

Ward: I've never seen you in such a hurry to do school stuff. Say, what's in that bag you've got there?
Beaver: Oh, the bag...this bag...
Ward: You seem a little nervous. Why don't you just show me what you've got in that bag Beaver.

(Ward pulls the bag away from Beaver and begins to unzip it)

Beaver: Gee dad, that is Susie Smiths bag. I accidentally grabbed it when we got off the bus and I'm taking it her house on my way to Timmy's.

(Ward gets the bag half way unzipped revealing some feminine underthings -- CANNED LAUGHTER -- then makes an 'Oh, I see' face and hands it back to Beaver)

Ward: Well alright, but you be back in time for dinner.
Beaver: You bet dad.

(Beaver exits quickly, cut to kitchen where June and Wally have been speaking as Ward enters)

June: Did you talk to the Beav' at all?
Ward: Sure, I saw him just a second ago.
Wally: Mom, thinks the Beav' is acting funny.
Ward: The Beav' is always acting funny.

(CANNED LAUGHTER)

Wally: No, mom thinks the Beav' is acting funny.
Ward: I'm not sure what you are all are talking about. Beaver is just heading over to Timmy's house to do some homework and drop off Susie's bag at her house.
June: Susie's bag?
Ward: Apparently the Beaver accidentally grabbed a duffle bag with some of her clothes in it.
Wally: Ya, know, funny.
Ward: OOOOH! Funny?

(CANNED LAUGHTER)

CUT TO COMMERCIAL -
dissolve in on Ward
Just what kind of 'funny' do you mean, Wally?
Wally: Uh yeah Dad, some o' the guys were teasin' the Beav, callin' him a girl 'n stuff, and he said somethin' goofy like, 'maybe I am a girl...'
ah, you know, Dad, it's the Beaver an' all, maybe we're makin' too much outta nuthin'.
June, looking very concerned: oh, Ward I don't know...
Ward: well, if those weren't little Susie's things, then where in the world would Beaver have got them? My goodness, Beaver is an eleven-year-old-boy; why when I was...
(Ward catches himself, and clears his throat.)
And how old is Susie now? 
June: Ward, I don't think those are Susie's things...

Ward: Wait one second. Who is Susie?
June: I thought you knew?
Ward: I've never heard of Beaver mentioning any Susie before. Wally do you know of anyone named Susie...Susie Smith I believe he said.
Wally: Gee, dad, I can't remember the last time the Beaver mentioned any girl's name with out pretending to gag at the same time.
June: Ward, I think you better have a talk with Beaver when he get's home...

[Cut to young Theodore furtively walking down Main Street, clutching the duffle bag. We hear a minor key variation on the Leave It to Beaver theme. "Susie Smith" (a grown woman it appears) enters.]
'Susie': Oh Theodore... I think we'd better get in the car...
[Susie and Theodore drive away. Dissolve to Eddie Haskell on the phone with June.]
Eddie: Hello Mrs Cleaver. Might I say that your voice sounds lovely?
June (visibly exasperated but blushing, in her annoyed but bemused alto): Yes Eddie, what is it?
Eddie: Yes Mrs Cleaver, I just saw young Theodore getting in a car with, I guess it was one of his teachers, although I did not recognize her right away; I think she may be substituting for Miss Landers. I must say it looked quite peculiar.
June: Well thank you, Eddie.
Eddie: I'm more than happy to help, Mrs Cleaver...
June (her face a mixture of relief and perplexity): Well goodbye Eddie.
[Enter Ward]
Ward: Honey who was that on the phone?
June: Oh that was that Eddie Haskell, calling about the Beaver, something about meeting one of his teacher's...

Quick aside to the writers..

This is really funny!  When the thread finally ends, somone should copy the lines into one file.  It could make for a fun stage production.

Chaunte

Quick aside to the writers.. II.


I like it, I like it  ... more please,more, this is so funny  ...


Michelle

Bob Mosher & Joe Connelly would be proud