Went in for my first counseling appointment the other day.  Yay!  Finally doing something instead of just thinking about it.  I haven't decided how I feel about the counselor, though.  It seemed to me he jumped into sexual experiences a bit quickly.  I'm not sure I trust him enough yet to go there.  And the questions seemed to be focussed a great deal on "was that with boys or with girls?"  When I flat out said "I'm attracted to men," his response was "Well we haven't determined that,yet."  Excuse me?  I can't speak for "we" but I determined that years ago.

Is this a normal line of inquiry?  Should I be nervous about this guy?  I chose him based on the recommendations of other FtMs in the area, and I like the fact that he views the HB guidelines as guidelines, not hard and fast rules, so I'm less likely to be stuck in the bearded-lady freakshow body for a full year before being approved for chest surgery, as has happened to others around here.  (Mind you, unless I come into a financial windfall, this may be a moot point, anyway.) 

I dunno.  Maybe it's just the whole therapy process that has me weirded out, but I wanted to ask about your therapy experiences (without getting too personal, of course.)  What kinds of topics are typically discussed?  What were your initial feelings about therapy?  Etc. 

I came out to my original therapist I'd been seeing for 3 years since my divorce, and we'd already touched on sex topics and I was comfortable with her.  But when I realized she couldn't help me with my trans issues, I found a great gender therapist recommended by another guy (ftm) locally, and because we both knew why I was there, we did jump in with sex issues etc.

Is your therapist familiar with gender issues?  Yeah, I'd have a huge issue if someone told me what I felt.  I have great resistance to authority figures who lack common sense and like to enforce arbitrary rules and such.

My therapist just started asking the 'official' questions before she can write the T letter (she's laid back and cool but takes the responsibility of referring for hormones seriously) and the official questions are the most amazing bunch of psychobabble BS I've ever heard.  It pains her to read them to me, LOL.  Question #1: When did you first masturbate?  No segue into it, LOL.  Fortunately I've been seeing her for over a month now.

Jay

Just to let you know dude, and i'm sure you've heard it a thousand times... but yeah people's minds do change around the whole attraction thing.  I know it has for me.  I thought I was asexual.

Therapy... she mostly started asking me about my family and friends.  How i grew up.  Didn't really talk about sexual stuff.  My gender issues of course.  The whole thing is a bit weird, mostly i just use her as a sounding board to figure out how to handle situations.  I'm also basically just using her for the "letters" too.

Quote from: J.T. on June 12, 2008, 06:21:33 PM
Just to let you know dude, and i'm sure you've heard it a thousand times... but yeah people's minds do change around the whole attraction thing.  I know it has for me.  I thought I was asexual.

So you went from asexual to sexual?

How does that work? You think it's the T or feeling more comfortable with your body or what?

Yeah, regarding the attraction thing:  As a young kid and teen  and even college age I always imagined that *I* was the guy when I was ... ehem...alone, but outside of my head in the real world I was attracted to men and NEVER imagined myself with a woman, either relationship/dating and esp. not in bed.

Now that I'm in my 3rd month transitioning and not even on T yet, I'm realizing that I can NOT see myself in a relationship with a man, as a man.  That 'gay male' doesn't fit me at all.  And my youthful fantasies about being the guy with the ladies has resurfaced.

I'm starting to guess that I'm just plain old hetero, but who knows.  That's fodder for more therapy.  I haven't dated in 3 years and at this point probably won't until I'm passing 100% as male and am legally male, and likely not until post-chest surgery also.  Too much on my plate to deal with relationship issues at the moment, esp. when my mind and body are in a huge transition phase and I'm not sure where I'll be when I emerge from the other side.

Jay

Quote from: sneakersjay on June 12, 2008, 05:15:11 PM
I came out to my original therapist I'd been seeing for 3 years since my divorce, and we'd already touched on sex topics and I was comfortable with her.  But when I realized she couldn't help me with my trans issues, I found a great gender therapist recommended by another guy (ftm) locally, and because we both knew why I was there, we did jump in with sex issues etc.

Is your therapist familiar with gender issues?  Yeah, I'd have a huge issue if someone told me what I felt.  I have great resistance to authority figures who lack common sense and like to enforce arbitrary rules and such.

My therapist just started asking the 'official' questions before she can write the T letter (she's laid back and cool but takes the responsibility of referring for hormones seriously) and the official questions are the most amazing bunch of psychobabble BS I've ever heard.  It pains her to read them to me, LOL.  Question #1: When did you first masturbate?  No segue into it, LOL.  Fortunately I've been seeing her for over a month now.

Jay

Yes, he's worked with a number of trans people.  We went through the basic, "are you stable enough to even talk about this" kind of questions in about 45 minutes, so then he suggested starting on the diagnostic questions, and yes, that was exactly the kind of questions he jumped right into.  When did you start becoming aware of sexual feelings, who did you "play doctor" with, that kind of thing.  So I guess that's part of the official "diagnostic" crud, eh?  How weird. 

And yeah, I could see myself being more O.K. with a relationship with a woman if I were in a male body.  Still think I'm gonna be awfully fond of the boys, though.  Maybe I'll just have to broaden my horizons.  >

My new therapist didn't jump in with the 'canned' questions; she started asking about my childhood, when was I aware I was male, what did I remember about being young, what did I do, etc, thru puberty etc. It wasn't like the first question out of her mouth was "How often do you masturbate?" LOL

But yeah, I was there to really, REALLY make sure this was, in fact, my issue before doing anything more (T) and I really wanted someone to talk to about it who understood.

Jay

My first therapist was way chill. He'd always let me get stuff off my chest for the first 15 or so minutes before he started asking me stuff. He asked me about drug and alcohol use in our first meeting, childhood experiences, sexual orientation, etc. He also had me play "Gender Gummy." However, I have health insurance that covers HRT and I had to make an appoinment with one of the providers therapists before getting my T. She asked me about my childhood, puberty, family relationships, how I view myself etc. The whole appointment took about 20 minutes; she cut me lose 40 minutes early and said I was probably the most grounded young adult she had ever met. lol. Neither of my therapists ever asked too much about my sexual experiences, I think they understood that sexual orientation isn't rellay related to gender.

Quote from: Scratchy Wilson on June 13, 2008, 01:44:27 PM
The whole appointment took about 20 minutes; she cut me lose 40 minutes early and said I was probably the most grounded young adult she had ever met. lol.

That's what my therapists (all 3 of them) say about me.  I have no issues, LOL, and I'm fairly Zen about life and rolling with the punches.  I'm hoping to use that in my favor if my ex starts making noise about my parenting skills cuz I'm trans.

Jay

Quote from: Nero on June 12, 2008, 06:30:03 PM

So you went from asexual to sexual?

How does that work? You think it's the T or feeling more comfortable with your body or what?

Before I had no sexual desire.  Didn't find people attractive.  Didn't understand why people had sex or were in relationships.  Now I'm finding I'm attracted to people.  Its weird.

It has to be the T.  I do feel more comfortable with myself but i've still got a long ways to go.

I've had one proper counselling session so far and another 6-7 lined up in the next two months in order to fulfill their requirements for transitioning. It's free too! XD Yay NZ healthcare :3

The annoying thing is, I don't have any issues apart from gender ones and even them, I don't have issue with! heh. I felt like I've already gone over everything that's happened in my life so I don't know how the hell I'm going to be able to fill the next 6 sessions After they're done (last one is aug 11th) I have to see a Psychiatrist (who sadly, is not free) before I can finally get my T prescription.