LynnER is right, it's not so much the addiction to nicotine as it is the habit. I never smoked anywhere close to the amount you do, but the habit was just as bad (well maybe not AS BAD) but I couldn't quit because it was like, oh I got some downtime, guess I'll go have a smoke. You just have to find other things to do. That's definitely the hardest part.
I had tried quitting several times before I realized that it was so hard because I just didn't want to quit. You can't go against what you really want inside, right? So I realized that if I wanted to quit, I had to find a reason to do so that mattered more than smoking. It worked for me anyway.
I used two reasons to quit-- first is that the cost was just getting too high. Think about how much you're spending on cigarettes. You smoke 50 a day, let's round it down to 40, two packs. If a carton is $30 now, and you get 10 packs per, the carton is only going to last you five days. Let's be really conservative and say you won't smoke on the weekend, so now the carton lasts you one week. You still need to buy 52 per year. So 52 weeks X $30 per carton = $1560.00!!!!!!! Now, I don't know about you, but there's a hell of a lot of things I could do with $1500. Damn, go on vacation or something.
And that was the second reason I quit. I like to scuba dive, free dive and swim. Especially on vacation. And while your doctor can't find anything wrong with your lungs or breathing, I guarantee that it's hurting you. You'll get winded walking uphill if you go at a good pace. You can't swim as well, or hold your breath as long. I walk everywhere and figured I was doing pretty well for myself. I mean I was walking, so at least I was sort of counteracting the negative effects of smoking. Not exactly. When I quit, I was surprised at how much easier it was to go uphill or a few flights of stairs. It really does make a huge difference. The carbon monoxide in cigarette smoke has a higher affinity for the hemoglobin in your blood than oxygen, consequently your ability to deliver oxygen to your body is diminished. As a result, you breathe harder if you walk somewhere or do some kind of exercise.
One of the side effects of diminished oxygen delivery is that your body perceives this as a problem with your blood, so your body kicks up the production of red blood cells. It doesn't sound like that bad of a thing on its face, but even with more red blood cells you still aren't anywhere close to being as efficient as you would be by not smoking. Also, thicker blood can increase the risk of blood clots, heart attack, stroke, etc. (This, BTW, is why your surgeon wants you to quit for the two weeks prior to surgery. The risk of complications if you don't goes up.) Not that I'm trying to scare you. It's just that being healthy and enjoying your life is as good a reason to quit as any. Once you quit, everything goes back to normal pretty fast. It gets easier to breathe and your risk of developing cancer drops even within just a few weeks. So, I say take your $1500 that you'll spend on cigarettes, go on vacation, and do some kind of activity and enjoy how much easier it is to breathe.
Best of luck to you. I know how hard it is to quit, but you can do it.
