When to tell, someone you're interested in, you're f2m? From age 12 to about 20, I'm ashamed to say I had quite a few short-term relationships, that I never revealed who I was. They'd either find out through the grapevine, or I'd disappear before they had the chance. I had a 2 year relationship from 21-23 where the girl had known me through family for years beforehand, so it was easy to jump into that. That ended and I met another super cool chick, we "talked" for 2 months before being official, and I made the huge mistake of not telling her, and when I did, I'm grateful she understood and we stayed together, but it ended for different reasons months later.
I've recently been talking to a girl, who after a month, I got the balls to tell, and she's been cool with it. But it's so damn hard for me to just TELL them. How do you go about doing this, how long do you wait, how do you even bring it up? 95% of the girls I talk to are "straight". I don't know if this matters, or not.

I would suggest telling them before things get really serious. I know how you mean how girls don't want to date transmen becuase they're "straight" and want a bio man. Just try to tell them and if they're a cool person they'll accept it and deal with it.

Thanks for posting this question GQjoey!! I've been wondering the same thing for awhile now...

I'm probably not going to date until I pass 100%, but I don't plan on telling unless it's getting serious.  Obviously then I have to.

I would hope I'd get involved with understanding women, but sometimes you never know.  At my age I'd hope kids and such wouldn't be an issue, so the fact that my *ehem* equipment doesn't shoot shouldn't be a negative, and who knows, it could be a huge positive, LOL.

I'm not really going to worry about it until I get to that bridge, which at a minimum seems to be about 9 months away.

Jay

As a girl (sorry for invading your forum by the way!  ) I'd never expect a guy to tell me anything this massive particularly soon, though its great because sharing it is shows that you trust us enough to be honest.
But i think that the time to tell is when you start feeling that your relationship has a real future and you want it to be long-term and you really love her.
Though if you wait too long, it really hurts if it causes a break up.  Its a real toughy!

I'd say after the first few dates. You don't want to fall for her and then get hurt cause she can't handle your body. Best to find out upfront. Also if you wait too long, she may feel deceived. And like she can't trust you even if she would've been okay with it.

But my experience with females is limited and I never passed in my life and thus never been in this situation, so take with a barrel of salt.

My girlfriend thought I was a real male for awhile. I told her that I was really a girl after four months of dating. She was actually really happy about it because she preferred girls over boys anyway. We're still together and engaged now. It's interesting how everything works out in the end.

Quote from: GQjoey on June 25, 2008, 09:30:24 PM
When to tell, someone you're interested in, you're f2m? From age 12 to about 20, I'm ashamed to say I had quite a few short-term relationships, that I never revealed who I was. They'd either find out through the grapevine, or I'd disappear before they had the chance. I had a 2 year relationship from 21-23 where the girl had known me through family for years beforehand, so it was easy to jump into that. That ended and I met another super cool chick, we "talked" for 2 months before being official, and I made the huge mistake of not telling her, and when I did, I'm grateful she understood and we stayed together, but it ended for different reasons months later.
I've recently been talking to a girl, who after a month, I got the balls to tell, and she's been cool with it. But it's so damn hard for me to just TELL them. How do you go about doing this, how long do you wait, how do you even bring it up? 95% of the girls I talk to are "straight". I don't know if this matters, or not.

Wish I could tell ya... I have the same problem in the reverse. I like guys, so I'm especially afraid to tell gay men about this... I know quite a few gay friends and they said that they'd never be with a man without a penis.

I asked my parents this same question. They said it's different for every relationship. I can't bring it up on the first few dates because dumping baggage early can prevent a potential closeness we could have achieved. It really has to be after you've broken the ice and the water is warm.

I would never date someone who prefers a girl and sees that in me. Because they'll like a part of me that isn't myself, and they'll eventually want to act out on their fantasies and I promise you nothing is ever going "in there" unless I'm seeing a doctor.

if u like her & she likes u & u want to get it serious, u gotta tell'em but some can get real mean. call u names & stuff so u gotta be ready 4 that.  Maybe u can treat her 2 dinner at ur place & tell her there.   dunno if a restaruant's a good idea but sometimes it works & sometimes it dont. 

chris, have you had a GF who liked you for who you were and not as a girl?

Quote from: JonasCarminis on June 27, 2008, 07:28:34 AM
chris, have you had a GF who liked you for who you were and not as a girl?

I actually want to ask that same question... >_>;;

People say I act plainly enough like a guy, but everyone who ever was interested in me (guys, lesbians) wanted what was in my pants.

Quote from: JonasCarminis on June 27, 2008, 07:28:34 AM
chris, have you had a GF who liked you for who you were and not as a girl?

yep I got a gf who loves me 4 who I am. chris a dude. & she doesnt see me as a 'girl'  b/c I aint no girl!