OK.. I've been here just over a week so thanks to everyone for some really great reading and debate.

It's lunch time here, and I have just got back in after a really odd morning. I'm going to explain exactly
how "it" hit me, so appologies if this post is a little long..( Again as I am new, if this is an old subject
that has already been done to death, let me also apologise in advance)..

Having sorted my job problems this week, then picked up a bag load of great ideas and a newfound
confidence from this forum..... I headed for my local shopping centre (mall) for some retail therapy....

...My confidence was high, I felt great ...but.... 10 minutes later things changed ....I just kept getting
that old nagging feeling that I was being stared at..eyed-up.... but I just couldn't put my finger on why? 

....That was it..I just had to head into the nearest Department store, to hide amongst the rails to get
my head together (as one does, at least in the UK)..

.. I was in a corner "looking" at a really nice fitted trouser suit, while actually trying to check myself out
to find out what might be wrong with my look in a nearby mirror, when there was a voice from behind,..."Hi"..

.. Sh***t! ...It startled me...My mind automatically raced thinking ' I'm read, ..I'm trapped, ...I've missed
something really dumb....quick, get ready with cute cop-out explanation number 33a, ....and above alll SMILE'....

I turned to be greeted by the smile of a really pretty shop assistant.. before I could say anything she spoke..
... "OOps... Sorry to startle you, I just wanted to let you know we've had an electrical fault so you will need
to use the changing rooms at the fromt of the shop...Hey.. that suit should really great on you, it so matches your
colour and style, ...we've got more longer length stock out back if you can't find the right size. I'll just be over
there if you need me.."

..All I could say was "Er...Thanks...Will do"

..and with that she turned, and walked briskly over to another lady nearby to start a similar conversation..

I was a little stunned, but my confidence was back, from 6" away she did'nt read me, and we "talked"...

My mind started up again.... So why had I felt uncomfortable; I've never felt or looked better...

....I looked around, checking out some ladies more my age, then I went back outside outside and sat in a
nearby seat. I checked out my handbag while looking around more...Then "it" dawned on me, ....and I started
counting...

The result was that while most of the younger girls looked good in almost everthing, nearly 8 out of 10 women
over 30 looked a mess. We're talking matted hair, dressesthat looked liked tents, leggins that begged for the
diet that never came..terrible colour matches...drag make-up....even "broad rounded shoulders"....I could go on... and on....and on...

So my realisation?....I was actually being looked over, but not as a man in drag, it was primarily because I
was aspiring to join an elite set of older women who actually look after themselves, and try look feminine (like
so many of you do here!).

... I'm in Hell.....After years of striving to look feminine and "pass", have I now really got to practice being a
total "mess" so as not stand out in public?

I need some hope here.....What do you think?

Chrissty

   

I'd say keep doing what you do, Chrissty. Sounds to me like there's nothing wrong but your notion you'd stand out. Perhaps not a bad thing at all. No need for a woman to be either a frump or a clod. Good choices that flatter rather than "stand out" are always the best, regardless of age. Dress to suit your own strengths and places that need strategic camouflage.

And off you go! If you pass from 6", you'll definitely do so from across the street.

Nichole

Just be yourself.  I know that sounds trite, but it's not meant to.  I am looking at your avatar.  You have awesome curves and wonderful fashion sense.  Keep doing that.  No need to ever be a mess, especially if you think it makes you more passable.  It doesn't.  Sounds to me like you are doing just great!

Kristi

I know people in their seventies and eighties who have a great sense of fashion. I got mine from my mom. I always try to look my best. I wear conservative yet stylish fashions. I'm not a kid anymore  . I agree with Kristi; just be yourself and enjoy it.

Gennee

Hi, and thank you for your advice. (sorry about the slow response , I've been having connection problems)

I have to accept that I was a little emotional when I made this post, so my wording may not have been as carefully chosen as it should have been.

I totally agree with Gennee that there are many senior ladies that have a great fashion sense out there, and the fact is that they are more likely to be better dressed and more feminine, that most of the "thirty-something" bracket I should have more clearly identified in my post.

It just sometimes seems that the aspirations we have, are potentially so much higher the norm for gender groups we seek to join.

Maybe thats just the way it's got to be....

Hugs

Chrissty


 

The way that you present yourself makes a statement about how you feel about yourself. I have always dressed well. Never over done, always tasteful. I'm not a trendy kind of woman, and I dress in a manner that is in line with who I am. I prefer separates to dresses, I like bright but not gaudy colors, all of the pieces that I will choose to wear on any given day will be color coordinated and will work well together. I dress for a total look, rather than just wearing whatever mixed pieces I feel like throwing together. My jewelry and other accessories are carefully chosen.

I've learned a great deal from fashion catalogs. I'm 58, and I find that I can duplicate some of the looks in the J.Jill catalog, among others, and then I can mix and match as I like. I have great self esteem in myself as a woman, and when I dress up to go out, it shows. I'd also like to add that there are many people on this web site who are far more "passable" than I am. Because of the way that I dress as well as how I carry myself, It is very rare that someone will risk making a comment about how he perceives me to be other than a genetic woman. I do not allow anyone to be disrespectful towards me. If that were to occur, my response will be the same as any other genetic woman, in other words, If someone is disrespectful to me, as a lady, I'll be disrespectful to HIM, and I can be VERY disrespectful. Think of it...How would a genetic woman respond if someone approached her, and said, "you know, you almost had me fooled!"

I have a lot to be thankful for. When the time, and money!, is available, I will have SRS. It won't change the fact that I have self respect for myself as a woman, and no one has the right to say anything negative to me. As a woman, and as a person, I will not allow it.