QuoteAt one time, the gatekeepers would not let a male-bodied person transition to female unless they considered that the person would be readily perceived as female after transition. Regardless of what your brain told you and the torment that caused you, if you looked too masculine, too bad. You had to go around the system if you could.
Appearance is no longer an official criterion, thankfully, but it would be naive to think that appearance no longer matters. Those gatekeepers weren't necessarily malevolent. They knew then, as we still know now, that trans women who are less feminine and less beautiful are probably going to have a more difficult life.
I cringe when I hear or read about trans women being evaluated on the basis of how "passable" they might be, yet at the same time I am envious of what those trans women have.
Puberty is the time when natal females are most likely to obsess about appearance. Most of them grow out of it, although in this society it's hard to escape. Still, I hope that means there's hope for me not to be so shallow. Someday!
There's a lot of truth and experience in that blog. And a good deal of heart.
Some of us have difficulties and most of us certainly think we do or continue to see the "guy" in ourselves.
And, she is also right about the teenage years. Yep, we all want to blend, to be seen as who we are. Some are fortunate, or have enough income to make themselves more fortunate. Others don't. Brains aren't pretty and don't blend. And eventually most of us I hope will grow out of exactly what Veronique wants to grow out of: being able to only accept blending women.
It's a hard road to get to and there are plenty of good and justifiable reasons not to get there. But, having a good, compassionate and open heart is not one of them.
Thanks, Tasha. Very much.
Nichole
