i made one of those hairgel/condom packers the other night and it didn't come out too bad, but i think i made the shaft too short and so it seems like it's too bulky or something because of how the shaft/balls are positioned. so i haven't really been wearing it. but anyways, i tried it out for a little bit and ... it just felt right. i can't explain, but i'm sure if you pack you know what i'm talking about. i've actually bought a professionally made packer and i'm waiting for it to come, but i have a few questions for guys who do pack.

1. it feels comfortable and everything, but at the same time it seems like it's a constant reminder that something's wrong/missing. is this something that you feel like, and if so, does the packer just eventually "become" a part of you, so to speak, and this isn't a huge issue anymore?

2. if you're in a relationship and you start packing after being with someone for a few months, what was the reaction? personally, i'm with a straight girl and she and i both are not comfortable with my parts down there. she sometimes says she wishes something was there when we're in bed, or similar comments. i've used prosthetics for sex in the past, and it goes pretty well, but then sometimes a while later she says something about how it's good and all but she doesn't feel completely good about it because it's "fake." so is packing something that a partner can "get used to," for lack of a better phrase, and not feel like it's "fake" or whatever, especially if you make a point out of the fact that it's not fake for you yourself? ... if that even made sense, haha

i can understand her problem with things not being real enough (she doesn't like that i can't physically feel it), but has anyone's partner had that problem and then gotten over it?

hopefully this post makes some sense, i might be a little too tired to be posting right now.

ive had the same worries about it being kindof fake.  specifically having to do with being with someone in a physical relationship.  are you on hormones?  because i know that some FTMs have had luck with being able to penetrate after a while on hormone therapy.  that may help you out in the future.

Yep, been on T for about two months now. I don't feel like I should have any hope for that kind of growth though, as I've heard that people usually get tons of growth within the first month or two, and I don't feel like I've had very much, haha.

Get rid of her. Seriously. She's trying to tell you she'll never be satisfied with you. Trust me, the comments she's making are just the tip of the iceburg. She likes cock. No matter what surgeries you get, you'll never have what she wants.
Find a girl who can deal with what you've got.

Jeeze, and I thought I was posting her very mild comments about this stuff . . .

Believe me, we've discussed this kind of stuff a lot. (Body issues... I haven't brought up packing yet.) And we're gonna be discussing things more I'm sure. We've basically had an on and off crazy relationship for the last 6-7 months, mostly because of these issues. And I've been friends with her for 2 or 3 years (I was friends with her before I started transitioning). We're still sorting things out, really.

Some days she seems okay with everything, then other days she's completely not. We're trying really hard to make sure we're still gonna be friends in the long run.

You're probably right, Nero, but I'm sure you can understand it's much easier said than done. Right now I don't think my logical side can take over in this though, even if it is obvious and in our best interests. I ->-bleeped-<-ing love this girl. 

Yeah I get that it's hard if you love her. For me, any comments like that after sex would be more than I'd be willing to put up with. Comments on how you could better please her are one thing, but comments about the one thing you can't do anything about are really rather cold and cruel of her.

Just sounds to me like she's never going to be satisfied with anything short of a real cock. I mean, obviously that's what straight women want but some can deal with your 'lack of' and some can't.
Sounds like she's the latter cause she's making these comments in the first place.

I know I'm being a bit blunt with this, but just sounds like you're headed for heartbreak, dude.

Yes, real anatomy would be nice but....

Since that's not gonna happen, I choose to pack.  I about cried when another guy told me they made soft packers.  And when I got my first one (the cheapy $12 3.5" one) It was OH SO REAL FEELING naked and under clothes.  Technically it's fake, but it was such a boost to my psyche it was unreal.

I can't speak to the partner issues personally, but any partner I have has to be totally fine with what I have and any expensive prosthetic I may purchase.  I'm never gonna have a 7 incher for real.  I have no growth there yet as I'm not on T.  I guess I'm just waiting until I come out of transition on the other side and am 100% passable male before I start dating, then I'll reveal my anatomical details when it's getting serious.  Any partner HAS to be happy with that or it's not gonna work out.

Jay

Quote from: sneakersjay on July 14, 2008, 07:50:21 AM
I'm never gonna have a 7 incher for real.  I have no growth there yet as I'm not on T.  I guess I'm just waiting until I come out of transition on the other side and am 100% passable male before I start dating, then I'll reveal my anatomical details when it's getting serious.  Any partner HAS to be happy with that or it's not gonna work out.

Jay

w00p w00p we have a winner!

I have to agree with Nero, this will ALWAYS be a problem with her. I too date straight girls, and I've been with quite a few. Some of the breakups were for different reasons, that I could cleary understand, especially if it was me doing the dumping. But my last one, I don't see any reason why we broke up. And she too, made the same type of remarks your gf has. That she wishes she could just reach in my pants whenever and play. If she truly loves you, she needs to sit with herself and realize who you are now, is who you will ALWAYS be, if she can't accept that 100% she needs to let you go. Or vise versa.

People what what they want and often have no control over that.  And if they really want it, sooner or later, they are going to find it.

I'll have to agree with both Jays.

I know you love her, but if the relationship is being broken off on and off because of these issues then its probably safe to say that maybe her idea of a relationship is different than yours. Or rather, maybe when it comes to the bedroom, she sees things differently than you do. Even without these physical problems in the way, any good relationship needs a good partnership. You have to be on the same page and when it comes to the important things, you need to be compatible with that.

So, maybe she is getting used to it, but I think the issues are beyond just the physical.

Quote from: Kevin on July 14, 2008, 02:27:29 AM
2. if you're in a relationship and you start packing after being with someone for a few months, what was the reaction? personally, i'm with a straight girl and she and i both are not comfortable with my parts down there. she sometimes says she wishes something was there when we're in bed, or similar comments. i've used prosthetics for sex in the past, and it goes pretty well, but then sometimes a while later she says something about how it's good and all but she doesn't feel completely good about it because it's "fake." so is packing something that a partner can "get used to," for lack of a better phrase, and not feel like it's "fake" or whatever, especially if you make a point out of the fact that it's not fake for you yourself? ... if that even made sense, haha

i can understand her problem with things not being real enough (she doesn't like that i can't physically feel it), but has anyone's partner had that problem and then gotten over it?

I'm w/a straight girl who loves me 4 who I am. Chris a dude & she deosnt care what I got down there.  I'm a dude to her & thats it.

Dunno dude.  maybe u gotta sit & talk 2 her.  I dont wanna be rude but she wants a dude or a dick?.  Sorry but they aint the same thing  .   she gotta understand that u cant give her what bio dudes got.  u can only work w/what u have.  if she thinks thats fake, maybe she thinks ur a fake dude to & thats messed up  .  I dont wanna tell u what u gotta do but I've met girls like that b4.  they act nice & stuff but when u cant give them what they want they get nasty   If she loves u she wont care what u got or don't got down there. Shes never gonna make u feel bad about it.  she's just gonna treat u like a regular dude b/c thats what we r.  regular dudes.  Not all girls r like that  but some are.  u just gotta find her.