and this is my first time posting here. I have been researching this "condition" very heavily for about a year now including lurking on this forum trying to gain insight. I recently took the Cogiati and scored a 335 though I must admit I answered kind of conservatively. I am pretty damned sure that I am pretty close to the classical transsexual personality and I think it explains a hell of a lot of the heartache and misery that has troubled me since I hit puberty some 20+ years ago. Anyway, at this juncture I am not planning on any type of transition for many valid reasons with the primary reason being my concern for my family members including my wife (yes I know I really do think like a woman). In fact, I'll keep this all a secret from them because my wife actually cares about me. Can't say the same about the rest of my family though because they literally hate people like me afterall they are pentecostals.
What really bugs me, and that is a very gentle way of describing my anger, is that for many years I feel that I have been discriminated against simply because at one point I may have looked fairly feminine (that is long gone though) and I have a sensitive, whatever the hell that means, nature. I really feel that I've lost job opportunity after job opportunity because of this and am currently woefully underemployed. I've got to tell you that on many, many occasions I've walked into a job interview being the favorite for the job because of my educational excellence and see the face of the interviewer turn ashen and drop with dismay even before the introductions have been completed. I've got to admit that it has always hurt to see less qualified or less capable or less productive people get the advances or positions that I've coveted. It has hurt like hell. Now, I am not feeling sorry for myself at all because I am an optimistic person by nature and have always chose to believe that everything always works out for the best; however, my real purpose of writing this post is to ask for advice on how to cope with these issues. Up until now I've always been able to cope through burying myself into something such as my education, my work, sports, or my marriage. Right now though these things aren't enough and I am completely overwhelmed. I am actively looking for a psychiatrist who is qualified in GID issues but I'd like input on how other people deal with these issues. Maybe it is harder in the south than other places? I don't know. I do feel that if I had decent parents and lived on the west coast I'd have been encouraged to have boyfriends when I was a teen and maybe even got to transition early on. In any case I am not looking for sympathy but ideas or solutions to my problem that lie outside of transitioning. Thanks, Ginger. PS. I am looking forward to meeting and interacting with you folks.
