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Would You Date a TS Admirer?

Started by Nero, July 22, 2008, 07:38:59 AM

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Nero

Ok, following the topic about what makes them tick - would you date one?

I know a lot of lesbians and bi girls have a thing for guys like me. Soon as I say I'm a transguy, I get tons of girls hitting on me in lesbian chatrooms.
It doesn't bother me. I don't mind a girl wanting me for my pussy. As long as she respects me as a man.
I'm never getting rid of my box, so why should I care if it turns girls on?

Your thoughts? Would you date a TS admirer? Why or why not?

Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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Buffy

You Free this weekend Handsome!

If it has a pulse I would date it!

Buffy
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Nero

Actually, I'm booked for this weekend. But not for next.  ;D
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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Shana A

Quote from: Nero on July 22, 2008, 07:48:24 AM
Actually, I'm booked for this weekend. But not for next.  ;D

Actually, with any luck after this weekend, maybe you'll be booked for the next weekend too  ;D

Z
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." Oscar Wilde


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Buffy

Quote from: Nero on July 22, 2008, 07:48:24 AM
Actually, I'm booked for this weekend. But not for next.  ;D

So I read, just testing your resolve!

Yes... I would date a TS Admirer, so long as they treated me nicely, I see no problems.

I can always fall back on my Brown Belt in Thai Kick boxing if they dont...

Buffy
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Lisbeth

Quote from: Nero on July 22, 2008, 07:38:59 AM
would you date one?

I have done so.  More than one of them in my lifetime.

I note you said "admirer" and not "->-bleeped-<-."  I approve of the distinction.
"Anyone who attempts to play the 'real transsexual' card should be summarily dismissed, as they are merely engaging in name calling rather than serious debate."
--Julia Serano

http://juliaserano.blogspot.com/2011/09/transsexual-versus-transgender.html
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Kate

Would I date someone who specifically desired me because I was once male?

No.

Would I date someone who desired me first, then found out about my prior history and found it intriguing?

Maybe.

But I dunno. I was already thinking about this, and I realized that I sorta wouldn't trust anyone who found out about my history and was instantly perfectly fine with it. I know that sounds backwards, but I think I'd always worry he just found me to be a "taboo," a kink of some sort. A thrill.

Now if a guy found out about my history after first being attracted to me, and had to seriously ponder whether he was ok with it or not... and decided that he'd like to find out... THAT appeals to me more.

I only wish I HAD such problems, lol...

~Kate~
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jenny_

I probably wouldn't

I'd just find it way too weird to date someone who admired the fact i was TS.  Its just a small part of me and that i really don't care for  much.  And i'd hate it if that was a significant part of what somebody was attracted to in me - i like to think theres a lot more to me than that!
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NicholeW.

Quote from: Kate on July 22, 2008, 08:21:44 AM

Would I date someone who desired me first, then found out about my prior history and found it intriguing?

Maybe.

But I dunno. I was already thinking about this, and I realized that I sorta wouldn't trust anyone who found out about my history and was instantly perfectly fine with it. I know that sounds backwards, but I think I'd always worry he just found me to be a "taboo," a kink of some sort. A thrill.

Now if a guy found out about my history after first being attracted to me, and had to seriously ponder whether he was ok with it or not... and decided that he'd like to find out... THAT appeals to me more.

I only wish I HAD such problems, lol...

You think too much! :laugh:

Dating depends much more on how people get along and what someone is looking for in another person, imo. Buffy looks for a pulse and Kate seems to want someone she has figured out as far as their thinking goes.

I don't date, but doubt I'd have a problem dating an 'admirer' at least once. Of course, my idea about dating is like my idea about test-drives for cars. Just because I go out with the car doesn't mean I'm driving off the lot with it. See a range of people if the range of people asks you out or if you ask them.

None of it is set in stone. If I constantly go searching for the "perfect one" before I date, then I'd imagine I'll do more staying at home than dating.

Nichole
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Dennis

Yeah I would. I'd date a woman who likes short guys too. It's just something about me, being trans. My one concern would be that if I were in a position to get bottom surgery, it would have big repercussions for a partner if that was what she was attracted to. But then, any of our surgeries can have a big effect on a partner because we're changing our bodies.

Dennis
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Elwood

When a lesbian hits on me, it bugs me.

She sees me as a woman, or a man that "used to be" a woman. Now, if we can establish that she sees me as a guy, maybe likes me because I understand what it is to be a woman or maybe because I have some feminine qualities in my bone structure or something... but if she's chasing me because I have a vagina and tits, it's not going to work.

If someone wants me for my pussy, no doubt do they want to touch it, play with it, look at it, eat it, something. And you know, I just can't let that happen. It's past my comfort zone. It really bothers me. If my transition all goes well, I will get rid of my box. That's step 3 of the major medical part of my transition.

Step one is hormones. That will last my whole life of course, but the state itself will go on 1-3 years before I start the next step, top surgery. After top surgery has been done, I'll need a recovery time and to wait for a therapist to get around to signing off for a full hysterectomy. I just want my vagina gone so that there isn't an opportunity to shove things in there. Step four, in a perfect world, I'd be able to get a somewhat normal in size, shape, color, and function of a penis. But I just don't see that in my future right now, so I see myself having some sort of medioplasty maybe before I go for a hysto so I can free a swollen clitoris (because I've now figured a tiny dick is better than none).

I would date a TS admirer if they admired me for qualities other than being "mixed" or "a man with a pussy I can ->-bleeped-<-." Because I know some men and women both like the idea of a man with a hole to shove things into. I don't want to be someone's cheap thrill or fantasy.

Meh. No one's thought I was "hot" because I'm trans. They've thought I was hot as a "cisguy" (they didn't know I'm trans). There's a few lesbians that can sniff me out and think I'm a really masculine girl. I MIGHT date a lesbian if she could respect my gender identity. Hell, my best friend has quite the crush on me, and my dad said she'd be a safe first kiss for me... haha. Maybe.
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Dennis

It would bug me too if a woman who identified as 100% lesbian was attracted to me. I haven't had any lesbians remotely interested in me since the first year of transition, so I'd guess that those who were weren't seeing me as me. If a woman had been primarily lesbian, but admitted to some bisexual attraction and saw me as a man, that'd be ok though.

Dennis
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Elwood

Yeah. I met a FtM who was married to a lesbian and lived as a lesbian for many years. He transitioned, and his wife grieved, but eventually accepted him as a man. That to me just seems... ideal. But I just don't know if I could be so lucky. She was obviously already attracted to a very masculine lesbian, so things worked out.
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Nero

Elwood, I thought you were gay, dude.  ??? :) lol
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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Mnemosyne

I have and it worked out ok. Never really went beyond going out once or twice.
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Natasha

Quote from: Kate on July 22, 2008, 08:21:44 AM
Would I date someone who specifically desired me because I was once male?

No.

i'm with kate on this one!

Quote from: Kate on July 22, 2008, 08:21:44 AM
Would I date someone who desired me first, then found out about my prior history and found it intriguing?

Maybe.


my answer to this question is "yes" though
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Elwood

Quote from: Nero on July 22, 2008, 10:06:41 AMElwood, I thought you were gay, dude.  ??? :) lol
I'm questioning.

God, do I love men. But I just... my self esteem is crushed. Without a penis, I can't really pleasure a gay man the way he wishes. I can't be truly intimate with him, with raw interactions skin to skin. It'll be a rubber dick or something... It just torments me, the thought. I just keep thinking sexually it will never work out... maybe transition will make me feel different... I just don't know. I prefer men, love men, but it only seems to work in my fantasy world where I have a penis.
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Lisbeth

Quote from: Elwood on July 22, 2008, 09:26:41 AM
When a lesbian hits on me, it bugs me.

I figured I'd finally arrived when lesbians started hitting on me.
"Anyone who attempts to play the 'real transsexual' card should be summarily dismissed, as they are merely engaging in name calling rather than serious debate."
--Julia Serano

http://juliaserano.blogspot.com/2011/09/transsexual-versus-transgender.html
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Nero

Quote from: Elwood on July 22, 2008, 10:14:08 AM
Quote from: Nero on July 22, 2008, 10:06:41 AMElwood, I thought you were gay, dude.  ??? :) lol
I'm questioning.

God, do I love men. But I just... my self esteem is crushed. Without a penis, I can't really pleasure a gay man the way he wishes. I can't be truly intimate with him, with raw interactions skin to skin. It'll be a rubber dick or something... It just torments me, the thought. I just keep thinking sexually it will never work out... maybe transition will make me feel different... I just don't know. I prefer men, love men, but it only seems to work in my fantasy world where I have a penis.

Well, I have no know firsthand knowledge of this, but from what I've heard from gay ftms, there are a lot of gay men who want to try it with them even if just for the curiousity. Sure, there are men who outright reject them but there are also men who are interested.
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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Elwood

Quote from: Nero on July 22, 2008, 10:19:13 AM
Quote from: Elwood on July 22, 2008, 10:14:08 AM
Quote from: Nero on July 22, 2008, 10:06:41 AMElwood, I thought you were gay, dude.  ??? :) lol
I'm questioning.

God, do I love men. But I just... my self esteem is crushed. Without a penis, I can't really pleasure a gay man the way he wishes. I can't be truly intimate with him, with raw interactions skin to skin. It'll be a rubber dick or something... It just torments me, the thought. I just keep thinking sexually it will never work out... maybe transition will make me feel different... I just don't know. I prefer men, love men, but it only seems to work in my fantasy world where I have a penis.

Well, I have no know firsthand knowledge of this, but from what I've heard from gay ftms, there are a lot of gay men who want to try it with them even if just for the curiousity. Sure, there are men who outright reject them but there are also men who are interested.
Hmm. But do they want to have anything to do with my vagina?
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