I know this is prob an old thread now but back up the top in my posts I'm asking
how can a mother or even a best friend not work it out and not know something.

Well an hour ago I'm chatting to my best friend, talking about plans over the
next few years with a new job. I'm saying new car etc typical stuff.
I say this but "I've got one big thing I want to save for in future"

Now he knows I've always wanted to see the world I want to see italy greece canada etc
theres a thousand things I could have said next he could have jumped to first... He says this without a second
waiting without any hesitation and is laughing "What? change to a woman?"........

Red lights  sirens blaring   capital letter WTF moment

joking? lucky guess? psyhic ?!!!  oh crap i'm pausing too long , I "(laugh) i'll add that to the list"

we move on....
(I better point out he does have a odd humour that does throw unexpected perhaps socially "taboo"
topics from nowhere)

Its stuff like this thats tearing me up inside i'm dying to have someone in RL I can be truthful
too, but I just wish if he knew he would actually say it!!.  I will keep it to myself until I
cant hide it or until someone directly tells me they know. Why am I like this. Because
its a fact that when you really come out everything changes forever, and I dont want
to do that until I've not only crossed the bridge but burnt it too. 

So what do people think?,  his ether a fantastic mind reader, the best gambler in the world,
His on to me about it all.

I personally think his on to me somehow his worked it out either that or his more like me
then I think he is!.

my older brother came out as gay in the late 70s

our mother said to him:
if you wouldn't keep company
with "those people" you wouldn't
be this way....

his reply:
i keep company with "those people"
BECAUSE i am this way"

i fully empathize with your issue
about your mother wanting to believe
your needs are somehow linked to
knowing and sharing info with others
who are in the same boat...

speaking as a mother of an FTM
all i can say is that NOW, in retrospect,
so many things that were just chalked up to
individual preference and behaviour now
SCREAM "hey ! i really dont even think like a girl!"
factor in being the youngest of 4, having 2 brothers
so that playing "boy" stuff hardly seemed out of place...
additionally, i am not a glam kind of woman at all!
while i wouldnt consider paying more than pay-less prices
on dress shoes i would fork out $200 for steel toed boots
in a heartbeat!

i guess unless there is something glaringly obvious
most parents dont really consider gender issues

Hi yip

I think at the end of the day you know your life the best and how to approach your transition. In alot of ways we have similar ways of looking at it and going through a slow timetable is probably a very good way of doing it. I was told that once you let the cat out of the bag it will never go back in so i would only say that tell people when your ready and for the reasons you want them to know.

Everyones input here really rang true in one way or another with me like wing walkers sociopathic brother (in my case my older brother and father, great combination) Cindy's suspecting but loving mother and its these reasons in a way hold me back too. Eventually thuogh as Hypatia say it will be a point of no return.

Luckily for me in some ways im alone but i do have a very loving 13 year old sister who will very likely stand by me because we are close and so alike. I plan on emigrating back to Canada at some point and she will be coming with me.

Do what you feel you need to do babe but dont ever be untrue to yourself or ever be talked out of what makes you, you. Even the closest people might stop talking to you but it maybe out of shock but im afraid its a long shot to hope they will guess your a transsexual, unless you family are very up on these issues ofcourse. I turned up at my country G.P wearing nail varnish and makeup and he didnt say a word.

Im under no illusions though and fully prepared to be disowned by my family but thats a price i will gladly pay to be the person i am. You sound like you have thought things out pretty well and if you just keep introducing new ideas to the people who matter then im very hopeful for you.

Quote from: Wing Walker on June 23, 2008, 03:21:46 AM
......How did they react?  What did you do?

......don't let anyone piss on your parade.  It's not so much how they react as it is how you react.

Wing Walker

How did they react?    Most of them reacted like scared, aggressive cavemen, and curious, skittish cavewomen.  A few were very supportive.  As WW says, don't let them piss on your parade.  I never let them do it as a "male", so why would that change as myself, a female?  I let them know it would not be any different, as each circumstance demanded.  It's hard to rock my boat.

Transitioning, or in my case, coming out mostly transitioned, is not for the faint of heart in a playground of adult children, so be ready, be true to yourself, and be prepared to stand firm and proud.

Bev

Right now i'm trying to build up the courage to tell my best friend.

Frankly i'm bursting into tears just thinking about it its that emotional
for me. I dont want to do this but i'm finding i'm being driven step by step
no matter what I actually want to do.

Quote from: Yip on July 29, 2008, 10:40:09 PM
.....I dont want to do this but i'm finding i'm being driven step by step
no matter what I actually want to do.

Well, Yip, that describes a lot of us.  You are being driven, and you will eventually succeed, and reach the goal you are so afraid of.  Then, when you are safely there, you will look back and heave a sigh of relief.

I'm not sure when be a good time for my sister to know.  She's 13-14 years old (yeh lost track).  I don't know what she would think if she found out her big sister was actually a big brother lol

Until last few years we used to live together, shared a room, shared a bed.  For a few years I had to do the play mom as mom had left and someone needed to do the cooking and getting her ready for school while father was at work.  I was a lot sterner though lol.  Didn't put up with stuff.  Still, the conection is deep...

Quote from: Aiden on July 30, 2008, 05:52:29 PM
I'm not sure when be a good time for my sister to know.  She's 13-14 years old (yeh lost track).  I don't know what she would think if she found out her big sister was actually a big brother lol

Aiden, it's been my experience that sooner is better than later.  Putting it off will, well......just put it off.  In fact, younger people are more accepting of change.  We told our children, right away, and they told our grandchildren shortly after.


Bev

Yeh only thing is she lives in another state, back with our mom.  Mom somewhat knows, though don't think she understands what it means, and not sure how they would take it if told her over phone.  Hoping can visit them this christmas, maybe then.

Quote from: Aiden on July 30, 2008, 07:29:39 PM
Yeh only thing is she lives in another state, back with our mom.  Mom somewhat knows, though don't think she understands what it means, and not sure how they would take it if told her over phone.  Hoping can visit them this christmas, maybe then.

It's different for everyone.  I told my sister over the phone, and she thought it was the coolest news she had heard in a year.  She started calling me Bev right away, and when we hung up, she said "bye sis"

But like I said, it can be a crap shoot


Bev

Yeh was going say that she only 13-14, but thinking about it, not really to young I guess.  I probably would of handled it well atthat age