everytime i reach the top of the mountain(of my transition journey) another one ,even higher appears.of course the final step is srs.However i strongly believe ,that even after that, a new problem will arise
last night i kept thinking how ironic is the fact that before transitioning, i was so depressed i could not be flirted by boys i liked, and now i have the look and i get flirted all the time i do not even care at all because i am looking for love rather than sexual pleasure.
assumptions like these arise every day.and i keep thinking
isn;t that ironic
(it;s like rainnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn  on your wedding day))

Quote from: deniz on July 25, 2008, 07:15:52 AM
everytime i reach the top of the mountain(of my transition journey) another one ,even higher appears.of course the final step is srs.However i strongly believe ,that even after that, a new problem will arise.

Yeah, it's called taking stock of your life.  It's common to be a little lost after SRS because there are no more mountains, just life!  Kinda where I'm at now.  Some people even get depressed.  I don't get depressed because I know how much sweeter life is now.  It may not be perfect (who's life is?), but everything is "right" now... if you know what I mean.

Quote from: Beyond on July 25, 2008, 07:26:21 AM
It's common to be a little lost after SRS because there are no more mountains, just life!  Kinda where I'm at now.  Some people even get depressed.  I don't get depressed because I know how much sweeter life is now.  It may not be perfect (who's life is?), but everything is "right" now... if you know what I mean.

I've often wondered about the same thing.  Before I came out and began transitioning I was pretty care-free, just working toward advancing my career while hopefully having some fun in the process.  Now after transition I have no career and my single mountain to climb is obtaining surgery.  What the #&$* do I do after surgery?  I can see myself having a wild stage where I go out all the time and date any number of people, but I hope that's not the case.

Quote from: deniz on July 25, 2008, 07:15:52 AM
everytime i reach the top of the mountain(of my transition journey) another one ,even higher appears.of course the final step is srs.However i strongly believe ,that even after that, a new problem will arise
last night i kept thinking how ironic is the fact that before transitioning, i was so depressed i could not be flirted by boys i liked, and now i have the look and i get flirted all the time i do not even care at all because i am looking for love rather than sexual pleasure.

This is where I agree with Beyond.  There will always be mountains to climb in life, but I have to assume none will be as daunting nor as fulfilling as the climb to SRS.  Also, deniz, I should point out that just because you and I are climbing to srs, both having the same issues with life and love, that the other mountains that non-trans also have to worry about don't go away.  My car is acting up and will cost money.  It's much tougher because the money to fix it might have to come from... ugh... the surgery fund.  As of yesterday I am umemployed.  I don't think I'll have a problem finding a job, but it's much tougher to concentrate on finding one because I'm trying to figure out what to do about this fantastic guy I just started seeing.  I really like him, he really likes me, but alas, I am a pre-op transsexual and he doesn't know this.  Oh yea, I forgot about the job search already!!!!

Some days I just DO NOT know how I will finish this current climb.  Day by day, hoping that after surgery things will finally feel "right" for the first time in my life.

Amy

i feel that thats not al together true, with me anyway, i see my life as being full of mountains and also living life while climbing those mountains. maybe im just different that way, i dunno.

Quote from: Avie on July 26, 2008, 10:19:00 PM
i feel that thats not al together true, with me anyway, i see my life as being full of mountains and also living life while climbing those mountains. maybe im just different that way, i dunno.

It's not that I don't think I'll have any more mountains to climb after SRS, it's just that there couldn't really be as big or as important.  I always try to explain it to friends and family like a bank account...  Everybody is born at zero, except for transexuals.  We have to work and save and pay dearly just to have what everybody else was born with.  We were born in the red.  When I have SRS, I'll finally be in the black again.

I try to live my life now before SRS.  I mean, even though I might not be able to have sex with a partner now, at least I can enjoy being with them, enjoy being treated like a woman by a man who doesn't know I am trans, or gain the experience of living my life as a woman as full as I can to have experiences to draw on as a woman.  But you can only do that so much before you go insane.  I don't know how long you've been striving for SRS, Avie, but I wanted it 100% three years ago, and I am still not even close to having the money.

-Amy

Looking back, life for me has been all about climbing mountains, then getting to the next one and climbing that one, etc, ad infinitum.

And thanks to the Deity for it!  Life would be endlessly tiresome if it were a smooth, effortless, plain.

There wont be a shortage of life challenges after transition has been accomplished.  The beauty of it is, though, one doesn't have the huge weight of gender incongruity adding to the effort of overcoming them so get this done, then go live successfully!

hugs & smiles
Emelye

The "mountains" I faced were all in my teens and early 20's, trying to survive. Every time I thought I could live with the dichotomy, something else would come up to reinforce what I already knew - that I COULDN'T live that life. After SRS/transition became possible in 1974, everything since then has been a walk in the park, even the bad times.

I don't really think of it as Irony, I see life as this: A challenge, transition is a challenge, existing is a challenge. But if life wasn't full of challenges would it be wroth living?

Quote from: deniz on July 25, 2008, 07:15:52 AM
everytime i reach the top of the mountain(of my transition journey) another one ,even higher appears.of course the final step is srs.However i strongly believe ,that even after that, a new problem will arise
last night i kept thinking how ironic is the fact that before transitioning, i was so depressed i could not be flirted by boys i liked, and now i have the look and i get flirted all the time i do not even care at all because i am looking for love rather than sexual pleasure.
assumptions like these arise every day.and i keep thinking
isn;t that ironic
(it;s like rainnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn  on your wedding day))

Happy for yu that your getting male attention, anyway. Sweet!

Just to add my penny worth(Dime) a councilor once said to me That there is no destination in life....just a seris of arrivals and depatures,I like that it keeps me sane(relativly)!!!

Quote from: deniz on July 25, 2008, 07:15:52 AM
everytime i reach the top of the mountain(of my transition journey) another one ,even higher appears.of course the final step is srs.However i strongly believe ,that even after that, a new problem will arise
last night i kept thinking how ironic is the fact that before transitioning, i was so depressed i could not be flirted by boys i liked, and now i have the look and i get flirted all the time i do not even care at all because i am looking for love rather than sexual pleasure.
assumptions like these arise every day.and i keep thinking
isn;t that ironic
(it;s like rainnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn  on your wedding day))

Like this:





tink

I didn't see surgery as the top of a mountain. To me it was just another step on the path of life. Looking back on it now it doesn't seem any more remarkable than so many things I have done. In many ways it doesn't seem real and I can't imagine myself being any other way than I am now.

Anne