Hello yall!

Well things are going smoothly, i'm BACK in therapy so that by november I will hopefully be starting HRT. But I had gotten some homework and was wondering what you all thought. The homework is to define, both the good and bad, the attributes we percieve boys, girls, men and women to have. I kinda of see it as the plus and minus chart.

So for example, men don't have to worry about apperence as much as women do. However, women can be more open then men.

Tell me what you all think.

^*nudge* That sounds like something you should be doing yourself, and yourself alone.

Task assigned to you by your therapist by chance?

*Looks alittle guilty*

Yes, it was assigned, but she did say I could talk to others about it. Promise!

Okay, as long as you promise she said it's okay!

Here's one; either can be a plus or a minus, depending on the situation:

Men, unless they have specific reasons such as kissing a boss' butt, or trying to finagle a girl into sex, will generally give their honest opinion. "Say, Fred, what do you think of my new jacket?" "Bob, that's the ugliest thing I've seen since my mother-in-law visited!"

Women tend to be more attuned to others' emotions and need for validation; they're a lot more likely to tell you what you want to hear. "Hi, Mary! What do you think of my new jacket?" "I love it, Betty; it's so different! I've never seen that shade of purple next to bright orange before..."

Stereotypes, of course, but that's the idea, isn't it?

Annie

Quote from: Annie Social on May 27, 2006, 12:16:02 PM
"Say, Fred, what do you think of my new jacket?" "Bob, that'd the ugliest thing I've seen since my mother-in-law visited!"

LOL 

Melissa

Hi Luana
Men don't worry about appearance as much as women do?  Actually that's a really good statement because I was immediately going to say "you reckon"?  Yet on thinking about it, can call to mind heaps of examples to either disprove or support that.
Thinking about my son, off to school he would slop, shirt hanging out laces undone, typical teenage male.  However he was also in Army Cadets, off he would march, uniform impeccable, boots mirror shined - and it was not just him, was a common occurence.   However, as well as army cadets (mainly male) there was also Air Force cadets (for some reason predominately female), comparing them army cadets did look like slobs - maybe it was the uniform, army camys are not ment for display - but maybe there is somthing in what you said??   I would say it depends on the person & the situation, where called for men can look really presentable.  (Though overhearing a conversation between my son & his mates the gem "Metro is just a bit too gay for me" maybe says it all)

Annie, men (all humans I think) have an awareness for self preservation & benefit- not just in dealings with bosses, and trying to make out with women.  Only a very unaware male would make some comment about a womans appearence/dress sense.   Think about it, when men are asked for input about how a woman looks - reply is sort of vague or what they think the woman would like to hear (and when they have no idea it is very stressful for them     ) 

Hey Luana,

I am going to have to agree with Annie here, depending on your own personal point of view, which I presume is what your therapist is trying to find out, any attribute that can be attributed to a man or a woman, can be either positive or negative, with the exception of some repugnant behavior like personal hygene issues that we can all agree are not pleasant regardless of the gender.

For me personally it is not an issue of what behaviors I find appealing or disgusting about either gender, it's about the fact that I really do beleive I am a girl, and whatever behaviors they may have that are not considered positive in my opinion, I can live with.

The only thing I had to gain by transitioning my life and going full time was being able to like myself.  I am finally living my life as I see fit, as opposed to how others felt I should.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Well, the exersise is to put down on paper our conceptions of the world we live in, right or wrong. In esence, there is no right or wrong since it is our own perception.

Another one I had created was that girls are vindictive and backstabbing, while men will hit you then forget about it. For the most part i've seen this to be true.

Quote from: Luana on May 28, 2006, 11:57:04 AM
In esence, there is no right or wrong since it is our own perception.

Another one I had created was that girls are vindictive and backstabbing, while men will hit you then forget about it. For the most part i've seen this to be true.

My perception of anything like the above assertion is of course colored by my experience.
The former part tends to be the most true when girls are competing for the attentions of a man.
In many other situations it tends to be true that girls are somewhat conspiratorial and various degrees of cooperative in a way that men just can't manage, it's far too subtle and/or not simple.
The latter part is contrary to my experience with men. The most confident or self-assured man, this kind of thing might be true of. That accounts for such a small percentage, in my experience, that it seems to be practically invalid. EG: A grudge may not come up in man-to-woman, man-to-man, what-have-you, conversations, but grudge-holding tends toward a kind of passive-aggressive thing as it is... and I have seen the type-of-thing you ascribe to female tendency in the former statement coming from the most masculine-posing men... so:

the quoted statement appears as not strictly validatable as such...

Luana,

Quote from: LuanaWell, the exersise is to put down on paper our conceptions of the world we live in, right or wrong. In esence, there is no right or wrong since it is our own perception.

Based strictly on the above criteria, this is my perception of the world.

Positive traits for men:

1.  Men have lots of non-verbal communications.  "The nod" between men for instance has lots of meanings.

2.  Men view the world as problems that need a solution and try to solve them.

3.  Men are strong

4.  I am not sure the reason why, but men seem to be able to overcome thier fear of dying, and fight for a cause that is not thier own, even if it means dying.

5.  Men understand and work well within the concept of teamwork.  I have noticed that most of the men I have known over the years for instance, take the attitude that if any man in a group of men has success in romance, the entire group wins.  Same with fishing, hunting and other group activities where others may share the credit of one of the participants.

Negative things about men:

1.  Hairy butts.....laff, sorry couldn't resist that one.

2.  Men may overlook verbal communications or fail to understand it, thinking it has a meaning deeper than it really does.

3.  Men will fight for pride.

4.  Men will do something they may think is wrong, to avoid doing nothing.

5.  Men fail to understand that listening has a thereputic value even when no solution is found, necessary, or available.

Positive traits in women.

1.  Women have excellent verbal communications.

2.  Women will make a plan before they carry it out.

3.  Women smell nice.

4.  Women are excellent listeners.

5.  Regardless of shape or size, women seem to be in better tune with thier bodies.

6.  Women have much more physical contact with each other and men, in non-sexual situations.

Negative traits of women:

1.  Women may be more concerned that a problem exists, than finding it's solution.

2.  Women are so competitive in attracting potential romantic partners, they can be divided and conquered.  Women seem much more cutthoat than men in this regard.

3.  Women may take the attitude, "don't confuse me with the facts, my mind is made up".

4.  Women are very demanding, regardless of whether or not they have a bossy  pushy attitude, or a subdued laid back attitude.  They can be quite persuasive.

5.  Women place too much value on social stature.


There you have it, complete with generalizations and stereotypes, but nontheless, my perception.  I hope that helps you in some way.

Love always,
Elizabeth