I have had this thought for a while now. It is driving me crazy. I know this is probably something thats best to talk about with a therapists.. but I want to see what you think.

The more I think about it the more it starts to make sense but then again it doesnt. What makes saying that you are transsexual just because you constantly think about being a girl different than someone whos just in touch with their fem side?

What makes me so special versus other people? Maybe like some people have said, some boys express their feminine side more than others.

Something just makes me think its not the same. Its so much worse for me, but what if im just making a big deal out of it? Maybe half the guys I see on a daily basis dress up in some point in their lives why am I so different?

Someone who is in touch with their Fem side does not wish to change gender.  As a Transsexual, my goal is to change my sex to 'female', my gender is already there.  Now the body must be changed.

That would and is the main difference between expressing your fem side, or being Transgendered, or even being a Crossdresser ( who are expressing their fem side ) and being Transsexual.

IMHO,
Janet

I guess I understand that, but the question that bothers me is to what extent will we go to try to achieve our feminine side. I know theres more to it than a fem side. The only reason why is because I feel it, I am not happy in my body, and I have been working to feminize it.

The question is to what extent does being feminine play a role in not being comfortable in your body.

For me personally, the body is not feminine.  It must be altered to conform with my inner self and means going to the ends of the earth to change it.

That is a VERY deep question and could lead to a whole dissertation on the effect of gender roles within our society! (But, fortunately, I am too lazy to go there today  )

What convinced me that I wasn't "normal" was that I always "fit" with the girls and couldn't do the boy-role bit at all, right from earliest childhood. As I grew up and the girls went one way and the boys went the other, I still only meshed on the girls side. The problem wasn't so much having "a feminine side" as much as it was NOT having a "masculine side". If there had been a masculine  side, I would probably have lasted longer.

Quote from: lory on August 09, 2008, 05:42:46 PM
I guess I understand that, but the question that bothers me is to what extent will we go to try to achieve our feminine side. I know theres more to it than a fem side. The only reason why is because I feel it, I am not happy in my body, and I have been working to feminize it.

The question is to what extent does being feminine play a role in not being comfortable in your body.

I don't have a "feminine side."  I'm a woman.  If anything, I have a masculine side because I've always been a tomboy.

Lisbeth

Quote from: Ellie's Miss Lisbeff on August 09, 2008, 07:24:11 PM

Quote from: lory on August 09, 2008, 05:42:46 PM
I guess I understand that, but the question that bothers me is to what extent will we go to try to achieve our feminine side. I know theres more to it than a fem side. The only reason why is because I feel it, I am not happy in my body, and I have been working to feminize it.

The question is to what extent does being feminine play a role in not being comfortable in your body.

I don't have a "feminine side."  I'm a woman.  If anything, I have a masculine side because I've always been a tomboy.

Lisbeth

Word!  (Just so there's no confusion.... that means YES!)

Being feminine or masculine is a completely seperate issue to being female or male.  Thats why men can effiminate but still 100% sure that they are male.  And why women can be tomboys without having any doubts about their gender.

The difference between a transsexual woman and an effiminate man doesn't lie in how feminine or masculine they are, it lies in one being a woman and the other a man.

Thanks for the responses.

Its just a matter of how we want to classify ourselves i think.

One classification is certain, I am me. My personality is me. But what our personalities are is a mixture of all we have been through from the time we were born till this moment.

The reason the question of whether I am just a "feminine male" comes up is because I like to bash myself with every single point that someone could make against me being transsexual.

The irony is that I get really depressed when something gives me the "maybe you are not transsexual" feeling.

I am what I am, Strong willed, unsurpassed in my choice of actions, Smart-ass, always challenging every form of thought or belief, never backing down when challenged. My core is was and forever will be female, everything else about me you can put a word or thought on, but it still means nothing. Call me what you will, say what you will. I am what I say I am not what someone else says I am. Just as you are what you say you are nothing more nothing less.

For as far back as I can remember I always associated myself as a little girl. Now my case is probable much different as most here. I was literaly dressing as a little girl at the age of 6 off and on, and I don't mean just for a short time. For whole days with my 2 cousins who are GG girls. So from a very young age I knew I was destined to become a girl in every aspect. From pretty much that point on I was on a straight path and did not deviate much at all. You can read my bio for more detail.


Deb

Quote from: lory on August 09, 2008, 07:55:19 PM
Thanks for the responses.

Its just a matter of how we want to classify ourselves i think.

One classification is certain, I am me. My personality is me. But what our personalities are is a mixture of all we have been through from the time we were born till this moment.

The reason the question of whether I am just a "feminine male" comes up is because I like to bash myself with every single point that someone could make against me being transsexual.

The irony is that I get really depressed when something gives me the "maybe you are not transsexual" feeling.

I used to do that a lot too (and still do a suppose), bashing myself with everything anybody could possibly say against me.  Because, obviously, if somebody can criticise me then i must be doing something wrong...

Problem is most of what somebody may say comes from ignorance.  They "know" we are really men trying to pretend to be something else; and they "know" they are right so don't need to be able to defend their view.

Thing is that biology doesn't work like that.  There is no unambiguous clear biological definition of what a woman or a man is - its far more complex than that and there are always exceptions to the rule.

In truth there is nothing special about you, or me, or any of us.  There is no test that says that we are conclusively female or male.  All we have is that part of ourselves that just knows what we are.

Thx Jenny, that makes a lot of sense .