Got another haircut today. Same one I've got for the last three cuts, actually - clipper guard 2 on the sides, blend it in on the top. Short, but easy to take care of and shows off those very few spots I have of male pattern baldness (yeah I know most guys aren't actually aiming for that).

My mum ran into me right after I got it cut. Said "looks awful". Which she has always said, before transition or post, when I had short hair. I'm wondering if that's her fear of me looking like a guy or just her thing. She did mostly hate it when dad got his hair cut short too. But when it looked tidy, she liked it.

Not that it bugged me or anything, but I'm wondering...we went to a concert the other night with mum and her friends and every one of her friends was absolutely impeccable with pronouns and name. Mum did the name thing right, but couldn't get the pronouns right. Her friends were looking at me, I shrugged, and neither they nor I corrected her. I was hoping she'd just get it, but she didn't.

Got any ideas? Steph, if your mum's still around to ask, I'd appreciate her input cause she's British too and might have better ideas. Confronting, by the way, does not work with English mothers. So a sit down and let's chat thing won't do.

Dennis

Hey there Dennis.

Actually you just missed her, she returned to England on Saturday.  For the most part she gets the pronouns right with me, but she does have bad days, I can see that she is making an effort though.  She has always had trouble with our names as well, having 4 children, she often had to go though the list of names till she got it right she still does.  It's probably not intentional, I see it more of a case that she raised you as a girl and has always refered to you as she/her.  Mom's are finicky that way.

Steph

Old habits die hard.

Really that pretty much explains the situation around here. Both my Mother and Father are very good about it, but they slip. ^*shrug* I can not comment on the English bit though, Mum and Dad are Californians at heart, lol.

Oh and ^*nudge* Long hair > short hair ^*wink* Some of the best looking guys have shoulder length hair. (Often a goatee and mustache as well, but clean shaven works great too.)

Dennis,
   I can relate to the pronoun thing. If my mother were alive I know she would have messed it up. Now for me with my kids, in public they will call me mom! I keep reminding them and the fact that I have a noticable beard will be a bad situation if someone ever heard them call me that. And my ex-husband is still saying "she" and "her", and even "Mary". He is driving me nuts. But as of yersterday, I moved out and in with Pam full time. I will see my kids atleast 3 times a week and my ex and I will always remain friends, but they all have to come to terms with the pronoun thing. As for your mum, it is just habbit, and because of what you ere born is always what she will remember. I think the same will go for my kids. I will always be their mom, so that is that. I don't mind as long as it is not in public.

                                              Marco

I can't say much about the pronoun thing, I'm not there yet.  I do know that the older I get, the harder it is to get used to new things like names and stuff.  The neural pathways just get a little calcified, that's all.

In Jennifer Finney Boylan's book, "She's not there" her kids mixed "Mom" and "Daddy" together and call her Maddy.  According to the book, that has worked out very nicely ever since.

helen

I used to get a #2 metal on the sides and back, about 3/4" on top blended.  It looked really good on me.  I thought I made a good looking guy, but it just doesn't match who I am.  Fortunately, the looks are seeming to transfer along with me.

Melissa

That's exactly what I got, Melissa. My secretary says it looks really good. Plus it's fast and 12 bucks.

And long hair doesn't look good on me - mine's too thick and curls in different directions. It always looks untidy.

Dennis

Quote from: Dennis on May 23, 2006, 09:24:46 AM
And long hair doesn't look good on me - mine's too thick and curls in different directions. It always looks untidy.

Yup, that's my problem too. I'm trying to grow mine out, and it's at that awkward stage of not really short, not really long, just... MESSY. It's straight until it hits my ears, then it gets creative and starts curling.

The LOOK of a super-short guy cut doesn't match how I feel... but I do miss not having to worry about my hair. It was nice to be able to hop out of the shower and just run my fingers through it and... tada! Done.

Hey, Dennis -- Here's a guy haircut joke for you:

Q: What's the difference between a bad haircut and a good haircut?

A: Two weeks...

Karen


Posted at: May 29, 2006, 08:12:10 PM

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Quote from: Kate on May 23, 2006, 09:37:43 AM
Yup, that's my problem too. I'm trying to grow mine out, and it's at that awkward stage of not really short, not really long, just... MESSY. It's straight until it hits my ears, then it gets creative and starts curling.

The LOOK of a super-short guy cut doesn't match how I feel... but I do miss not having to worry about my hair. It was nice to be able to hop out of the shower and just run my fingers through it and... tada! Done.

Ditto for me.  The upside is I'm becoming very skilled with a blow-dryer.  I'm also developing quite an interest in shower caps.  If my hair gets wet and I don't dry it completely, it takes on a mind of its own.  Oh, well -- another year 'till I can get it all in a ponytail...

Karen

Mine is now past the uncomfortable stage. I can tie a small ponytail and I have found if I spray it with hairspray and kind of fan it out in the back, it looks very feminine.  It took me a couple tries to get it right.  Unfortunately, my avatar is the time before I got it right. 

Melissa

Your hair looks great to me in your avatar, Melissa. But then I'm a guy, hardly your harshest critic - gotta get other women for that. With your face and your hair, I'd be surprised if you didn't pass all the time, and look good doing it.

Since I got the clipper-guard 2 cut and it's gone blond for the summer, I'm getting nothing but compliments on my hair from women. Even some of the courthouse loons (the regular kinda weird crew that is like a lawyer-groupie crowd) have commented on it. I guess if I can't be a rock star, this is the next best thing...

Couple of the social workers have said how good it looks and one of the court clerks. So I guess it's the right cut for me. I've never had this many compliments on a haircut before in my life. I tellya I sure like waking up in the morning and thinking wow, if I didn't need to shower for hygiene reasons I could just head out for the day.

Dennis

LOL, my mother once asked the hotel clerk to "knock her up" at 7 AM. The look on his face was priceless.

Then there was the time she dropped my dad off at work and told him to keep his pecker up.

Dennis

Quote from: Karen on May 29, 2006, 11:21:31 PM
Ditto for me.  The upside is I'm becoming very skilled with a blow-dryer.  I'm also developing quite an interest in shower caps.  If my hair gets wet and I don't dry it completely, it takes on a mind of its own. 

A trick I found which works for me is to towel dry it, then brush it all straight back with styling cream... then let it dry that way while I drive to work (30 mins or so). Then I can fluff it out with my fingers, pulling it down again, and it falls straight in short bob style. The cream keeps it straight while it dries I 'spose, so it doesn't curl all over the place. Yay!

I LOVE Melissa's look - but I don't have enough hair yet to try it - especially in back. I've been keeping the back short while the sides/top catch up. The last time I tried to grow it out, I became frustrated with how messy it looked. But methinks the problem was I just never cut it at all - just let it grow - so it ended up in a mullet kinda style. This time, I've been cutting the parts which hang down the farthest on the back and sides, allowing everything else to catch up and slowly even things out. MUCH better this time 'round

Hey Dennis,

I have never had my hair short, infact when I first transitioned I had real long blond hair that hit just above my elbows and the women loved it.  It looked great with a 5 clock shadow, or even when I would let the beard or goatee fill in some.  People at work (bosses) assumed I was going to cut it, and even asked me why I wasen't and I told them strait up, hey the girls love my hair, why would I cut it. They laughed and just allowed me to be my wild 20 something self.

Now fast forward to the present day. Went to the beach this weekend and the blond that is coming in for the summer is making my thinning look a LOT more thin on top.  My hair is not as long as it once was anyway, not even close! I am very much like the picture in my avatar. However the top is really starting to shed fast this summer. It has taken 15 yrs to get to this point, but I sure wish I could have 15 more before going bald LOL

but I have been putting off cutting it short, though starting to really think about doing it.  I am thinking about just buzzing it all over and let it be what it is, a loss to suffer  talk about something that bugs me, I loved my hair!! Now can we transplant some of what showed up on my back and put it on my head pleeeassseee! LOL

When I was in college and home visiting my mom said she would pay for my hair cut if i would go get one, she said I looked ratty  lol....so I went and when I got home she was like, "Taylor! How is that a hair cut?" I told her a lot of hair hit the floor, she said there was a lot more needing to hit the floor! LOL  she said she was not paying for me to get another hair cut unless she was there. I ain't that brave even today!

Hope everyone had a good weekend...

Peace,

Taylor

Quotemy mom said she would pay for my hair cut if i would go get one, she said I looked ratty  lol....so I went and when I got home she was like, "Taylor! How is that a hair cut?" I told her a lot of hair hit the floor, she said there was a lot more needing to hit the floor! LOL

LOL ... parents, mine are the same ... once they even pay the hairdresser to visit me at home and cut my hair because I didn't want to go. 


* *

Michelle

Quote from: Kate on May 30, 2006, 10:18:09 AM
I LOVE Melissa's look - but I don't have enough hair yet to try it - especially in back. I've been keeping the back short while the sides/top catch up. The last time I tried to grow it out, I became frustrated with how messy it looked. But methinks the problem was I just never cut it at all - just let it grow - so it ended up in a mullet kinda style. This time, I've been cutting the parts which hang down the farthest on the back and sides, allowing everything else to catch up and slowly even things out. MUCH better this time 'round

Thanks.  What I did is start with short hair (like 1/2") and let it grow until it was 4-5" long.  Then I got a female hair cut that made it look feminine, but took of minimal length.  Unfortunately, I had my bangs chopped way down and I'm still a little upset by that, as they went from 4-5" down to about 2".  I left the place with it styled by the hairdresser, but was still wearing male clothes and I got maam'ed that night at the store.  That at least made me feel a little bit better.  I was wanting to cry before that because I felt I had made a mistake getting it cut, but after having enough people compliment it (and not just on here), I don't feel that way anymore.  So, it's been a month since my haircut and the hair has grown out a little bit.  Now, I use lots of hairspray and mousse to style it, but it seems to do the trick.  Even I can see myself looking pretty and I'm a harsh critic.

Melissa

Quote from: Melissa on May 31, 2006, 01:51:49 AM
Thanks.  What I did is start with short hair (like 1/2") and let it grow until it was 4-5" long.  Then I got a female hair cut that made it look feminine, but took of minimal length.

What was the cut like? What would I ask for if I went to a stylist?

Quote from: Melissa on May 29, 2006, 11:29:47 PM
Mine is now past the uncomfortable stage. I can tie a small ponytail and I have found if I spray it with hairspray and kind of fan it out in the back, it looks very feminine.  It took me a couple tries to get it right.  Unfortunately, my avatar is the time before I got it right. 

nah Melissa, that pic is someone getting the hair do just about right, innit y'all?

I got a SHORT haircut like 10 mos ago; I told the girl I might cut it twice a year, wanted something that would grow out, and u know be 'low maintenance', and not TOO butch (this was before I thought of transitioning, I was still sorta in a coma);
she musta thought I was speaking in code, 'cause when it began to grow, adds up to a pretty girly cut.
An amazingly skilled cutter of hair that one. @ Supercuts.


Posted at: May 31, 2006, 10:39:52 AM

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caitlyn that is a VERY droll story.

LMAO

Quote from: Kate on May 31, 2006, 12:28:14 PM
What was the cut like? What would I ask for if I went to a stylist?

The stylist knew I was TS and I told her to give me a feminine haircut.  She tailored it to my face and head.  There really wasn't anything special to ask for.  I would howeve suggest finding a TG friendly stylist.  Try asking your local support group.  That's how I found mine.

Quote from: jan c on May 31, 2006, 12:45:54 PM
nah Melissa, that pic is someone getting the hair do just about right, innit y'all?

What do you mean by that?   

I actually took the picture about 12 hours after I styled it, so it didn't quite look as good as when I first did it.  I know I am hypercritical when it comes to myself.  I see so much of my male self still in my photo.  Maybe my maleness just was never that extreme to begin with.  Oh well. 

Melissa

Haircut?  Now there's a 7 letter word for you.  I get my ends trimmed up for splits every 6 mo or so.  If there is anything I hate it hair on the floor.

But then, I'm not the glamorous type either ......

Terri