I figured since I will be not as much introducing myself as asking for advice it may be best to post here. You can call me Marin. I am an androgyne. To me gender doesn't matter much, but I do want to present myself as an androgyne-like person and not as a girl (my biological gender). I haven't talked to my parents about this yet, they have too many other issues to deal with. I have talked to an adult that works with me a lot as well as to my online friends. Through discussions with these people I have realized what I am.

I am currently moving and starting school. It isn't a conventional school and I should be fairly accepted there. I am looking to change my physical presentation in the couple of weeks before school. I want tips on this. Here are my ideas/things that I have been trying:

T-shirts: I am just starting to wear t-shirts more now that my new school has no dress code. I got a bunch of cool gaming/geeky t-shirts (yes, I am a geek) in male sizes. The girls ones are too tight and form fitting with tiny sleeves, plus half of the shirts only came in male sizes.

Convertible Pants/Zip-offs: This is my casual form of pants. I tried to get a female cut that was somewhat similar to a male cut. I always wear it in a light-ish color.


Polo Shirts: Polo shirts are what I wear when I want to dress slightly nicer. I get them in 'male' colors to help with my illusion (since right now I look kind of like a girl still, though a little girl got confused about my gender yesterday, which made me happy, heh). The cut is kind of in between a typical mens polo and womens polo.

Shorts: This is what I wear in the warm weather when I am not wearing zip-offs. I tried to get a loose and long (slightly above the knee) shorts.


Pants: I wear these in colder weather or when I need to be a bit dressy. I always wear them in a light color.

Bra/Breasts: I will be getting some sports bras soon in hopes that they will minimize my breasts. Breasts are annoying.

Shoes: I wear Merrells. I always will. I personally can't tell the difference between womens and mens, so I wear womens to keep my mom happy.

Jacket: I wear a somewhat sleek jacket over my clothes all the time. The jacket is always black.


Watch: I wear a men's watch. It fits me better than a woman's.

Hair: I have my very curly brown hair just at the top of my ears, and pretty short in the back too. I have it cut whenever it reaches the bottom of my ears.

Hat: I often wear a hat with ears on it, I'm just weird that way.

I am nearly 5'8" and 185 pounds, I am working on losing weight at the insistence of my mother. I am hoping to get down to 155-165ish.

Voice: My voice is low, but not that low. Back in chorus I should have been a tenor, but since my school was too small to have all of the sections I split my time between alto and baritone.

So, what do you think? How could I be perceived as androgynous or just not really have people know my gender. I am tired of succumbing to my mom's every wish for me to be a 'beautiful girl'. I hate dresses and makeup, they are uncomfortable, as are many girly things. I hate my breasts and periods, but I don't think that I would like the issues that boys have much better at all.

Please do not take me for some rebellious person or someone wanting to stand out or be different. I already stand out many times and am different, for reasons that I don't wish to discuss here at this time and are unimportant. I have felt this way for a while now. I have 3 people that I can discuss this with, one adult off line and a couple of close online friends. I just feel like I need more information and support.

Any advice is welcome. I am sorry to get into appearance so much in my first post, I honestly don't think about it much normally, but I am starting a new school and I want to look like who I feel that I am.

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Modified by Tink.
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Hello Marin, and welcome to Susan's. You'll find a ton of support and information here. And don't worry, nobody here will tell you this is just a "phase" or a rebellious act. If that's what you feel like, then that's what you are. I'll give the floor to some of the resident Androgynes here now

Take Care,
Sarah

Welcome to Susan's Marin! It's nice to meet a new androgyne, I'm among the older ones at 52, and still figuring out where this journey will lead me

Zythyra

Thanks for the welcome guys .

Nobody's going to take you for a rebellious teen here! Everyone is welcome, and no one is judged.

I'd say those shirts look about right if that's the look you're going for. Did you want to wear the women's cut polos?

Also, I don't know if you want your chest completely flat or not but if so they sell great binders for that.

Unless mentioned otherwise below, I dig/they are androgynous. Oh and for better critique, you're gonna need to take pics with them on, a lot of whether it looks androgynous is determined by how it fits on your body.

Convertibles: Please don't. That's what 8yearold boys wear when their parents don't want to bother to help them decide whether the weather makes shorts or pants more suitable. They look bad as well, since the zipper is so obvious.

Shorts: The two little buttons at the bottom on the side, that immediately signifies that they are female shorts.

Bras: Tight sports bras can do wonders to make you look smaller. They won't make you look flat unfortunately, but don't be afraid to get sizes smaller. I am a B/C cup [one's larger] and I comfortably wear A cup sports bra.

Shoes: Ugh. Not my taste at all but from what you said, there won't be any changes there so moving on...

Watch: Dude, I only buy those watches to use for a cheap alarm clock for a reason lol. But I guess it'll fit with the geeky tshirts aye?

Gluck with presentation.

Hi Marin,

Welcome to our little family.  Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers.  Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now.  And it is always nice to have another member.

And don't be afraid of the dark, it wont hurt you.  I don't let it hurt my friends.  It knows it's Mistress.

Mistress Janet

Thanks . I don't really like womens cut stuff, but I can't get away with mens cut stuff because my mom is kind of weird about gender stuff.

Hello, welcome t'site.
You sound like you know what you want and how to achieve it. That's always a plus.
Forge ahead, have fun.

I'm semi-new here, so welcome, you can ask me for advice anytime. ^_^ I'm in the same boat. lulz  I need a life jacket.

you said your mum is weird about you wearing guy stuff if you find gender neutral stuff in mens department how will she know where you got it from does she look on tags?
when I told my parents about being "different" I wore clothes from the Ladies department (I'm biological male) they didn't realise I was wearing girl clothes when I said wearing girl clothes made me feel better they freaked then when I said I was wearing girl clothes now they relaxed

good luck & welcome to susan's

As far as clothes go, if they make you feel good, that's all that matters.  For me, I don't even think about the gender associated with the clothes I have on...to say that I'm oblivious would be putting it mildly.    It's all about how you feel in your clothes.   

The main thing to remember is that there is no androgyne dress code.  You can do whatever you want. 

Quote from: Kinkly on August 17, 2008, 12:45:42 AM
you said your mum is weird about you wearing guy stuff if you find gender neutral stuff in mens department how will she know where you got it from does she look on tags?

No, but I would have to order it online with my own money which would make her suspicious. I can't go out alone.

Danny is envious. I wish I were 5'8"!

Anyway, you've definitely selected a pretty androgynous selection.