well me and my mom went to the mall she asked if i liked a girls shirt and i said no then shes like of course or something and it upset me i dont like my body so y would i accentuate it

Posted on: August 16, 2008, 06:28:35 PM

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so im just a little bit upset no a lot im freaking more depressed now

Sorry about that bro

Does your mom know?......Either way, I'm sure we've all had to deal with that "this would look nice on you!" phase at some point or another. You're not in this alone

I understand how you feel. What sucks for me is that I want to wear girl's shirts but only if I had a flat chest and an overall more masculine look. I love how effeminate men look like in girl's clothes.

I've been dressing like a boy since I was old enough to pull on my own cloths, and mom used to be pretty bad about fighting with me.  I mean sometimes she would just flat out insult me and try to prod me into something pink and frilly.  She's nothing like that now and doesn't even bother going near the girls cloths anymore, but every now and then she'll hold up a really ugly shirt or pair of pants from way across the other side of the store and say 'Oh you'd look soooo good in this' in a really sarrcastic voice.  I always just pull a stereotypical gay man voice and say "OH MY GOD!  That would go great with those shoes I bought last week!"  We get a kick and people in the store laugh a little too if they dont think we're making ourselves look like asses.

I feel for you though, but sometimes parents say things that they dont know hit you that hard.

Trust me, I hate it too.

Not necessarily the shopping part, but the little comments.  Any time I point out an attractive guy, she blurts out "He must be gay right?" or "Well, he's gay if you like him."  Pisses me off.

my mom does now but she wouldnt accept what i told her so..

I've wore boys clothes since i was about 6, and my mom never really got use to it.  When i was little all i wore was jerseys, i think she thought i would grow out of it.  Then when i was about 17 she would always make comments like, "these pants or this shirt don't look very girly, do you like it?" even last summer she tried to get me to wear girls clothes to my sister's wedding, I didnt but she tried. She gets better and better all the time though. She actually goes shopping without me and buys me guys clothes all the time, just give it time man.

this is one of the things i've never understood... why parents freak out.  For as long as I remember i've worn the clothes that I wear.  Always have.  My parents never made an issue of it.  I guess I'm lucky.

LOL.  from at least age of 4 or 5 I fought my mother when she tried to put me in a dress, and as got older refused to wear anything really girly or flowery.  She eventually gave up lol and pretty much let me wear what was comfortable in, though I was to afraid to go to far with it.  Mostly dressed in either boys or girls as long as it wasn't girly looking.  Often was taken as a boy in the stores when was younger.  Even after hit puberty I still wore mostly masculine/androgen cloths though ended up fighting with father as he wanted me to dress more feminine.  Did have 2 feminin episodes where tried somewhat but couldn't go full way.  *shrugs*   But yeh haven't really had to many problems with shopping for cloths in past, and am glad I don;t live with them anymore and can buy my cloths by myself.

I dont think Ive worn girls clothes since I was like 6, lol

My Mum would never buy me boys clothes but would get me gender-neutral stuff.

Now as a adult I dress in purely male attire. I went home to visit last month for the weekend, Mum did my washing for me and wanted to know why I had "Bart Simpson" and "Superman" undies 

  My Mum tends to buy most of my clothes (just 'cause I can never be bothered - I have enough so that if I do a load of washing every week there's no problem, so why buy more? ), and that includes undies. She'll be about to head off for the shops and ask,
"I'm going to do some clothes shopping, do you need anything? How about socks or undies? What sort? Frilly? Lacey?"
"No thanks, plain black's fine."
"Oh. Sure? 'Cause they have some nice lacey knickers now."
"No thanks, I'm happy with just plain black."

She's very good, though. No frilly knickers since my early teens (even though she always asks), and she now gets mainly black socks, too. But yes, when I was about 11 or 12 she did the whole "Hey, this skirt [painfully short!!!!] would really nice on you what do you think yes let's get it." Just like that. When we're at the shops together she'll still occasionally do the "What about this one? It would look really nice on you," but if you can get her away from the women's section, she's fine. As for the rest of my family... I don't think Dad *or* my brother have noticed at all - the few men's shirts I've worn in front of them have all said something interesting (like my Sarcasm Society one), so I don't think they've made the 'my daughter/sister's suddenly wearing men's shirts' connection yet .

Fight the frills, brothers!!! >

My mom gave up the clothing fight with me when I was 12 and finally outgrew my last hideous Jessica Gunnysacks confection. Blech!  Haven't worn girly clothes outside of a theatrical production since.  These days the most I get from her is the odd semi-neutral comment.  Like the other day when I buzzed my hair really short. (1" on top, faded down to 1/4" on the back and sides.)  As I walked up the drive she said, "Wow.  Your hair's really short.  Did you mean to get it that short?  You look like a boy."  She said it in that jovial tone that says, "I think it's awful, but if you did it on purpose I don't want to say anything."

Really, it's a wonder that my family hasn't figured things out yet.  I've been shopping almost exclusively in the Men's department for years now, and my hair gets shorter every time I see them.  Actually, I think my mom suspects.  And yet I still don't have the courage to come out... *sigh* 

There was actually a point in my life where I liked dresses and to be girly. I don't think it's got a thing to do with being a man, with all these fabulous cross dressers running around. Gay men are highly effeminate, so I don't think they're any less of a man for appreciating those sorts of things. Now you wouldn't catch me dead in a dress, but only because it affects how well I pass. I think if I was a bio male that I'd enjoy cross dressing. Does that mean I'll wear dresses after transition? Probably not. I'll never be a bio male who's manly enough to pull that off.

Quote from: Elwood on August 19, 2008, 05:34:55 PM
There was actually a point in my life where I liked dresses and to be girly. I don't think it's got a thing to do with being a man, with all these fabulous cross dressers running around. Gay men are highly effeminate, so I don't think they're any less of a man for appreciating those sorts of things. Now you wouldn't catch me dead in a dress, but only because it affects how well I pass. I think if I was a bio male that I'd enjoy cross dressing. Does that mean I'll wear dresses after transition? Probably not. I'll never be a bio male who's manly enough to pull that off.

I think for me, that "I like wearing girl clothes" stage in my life was when I was 6 and under. I almost tried to force myself to start liking dresses recently so I don't think I honestly liked them..I just tried to learn to live with them.

I don't care anymore though, I'll dress how I like and that doesn't involve dressing like a girl. Hah. I'm probably off topic, so I'll just say this to ya emoboi: Be assertive if you don't like dressing a certain way. When I go shopping with mom, I usually wander off into the guys section and come back with what I like, but I can do that cause my sister usually comes too and my mom and sister get along great shopping. In your case I'd just say be assertive, say "mom this is what I like, please don't make me wear things I don't." and be done with it.

I never liked girl's clothes EVER, though I wore them my entire life.  Why I didn't allow myself to shop in the men's department, even when women's clothes did NOT fit my body (I have no natural waistline, built straight like a guy).  I hate the fabrics women's clothes are made out of, I hate how flimsy they are, I hate how impractical they are.  As a kid I was forced to wear dresses, and I tried to figure out ways to wear pants to school.  I remember my mother letting me buy boy's sneakers when I was in 3rd grade and I was SO HAPPY!!  And I didn't care that I got teased about them on the playground.

I went through phases where I tried to be a good woman and would buy nicer/dressier clothes, but they didn't fit me or my personality and I couldn't pull them off.  I felt fake and gross.

Very comfortable now.  Looking forward to buying my first suit and tie after top surgery!

Jay

Quote from: sneakersjay on August 19, 2008, 08:45:26 PM
I remember my mother letting me buy boy's sneakers when I was in 3rd grade and I was SO HAPPY!!

Same, but it was the fourth grade for me I bragged about them being boys sneakers to my friends, I was so happy about it. I didn't get teased, but one of my friends said "So?" and something along the lines of wearing her brother's sneakers all the time.

Quote from: trapthavok on August 19, 2008, 09:07:33 PM

Quote from: sneakersjay on August 19, 2008, 08:45:26 PM
I remember my mother letting me buy boy's sneakers when I was in 3rd grade and I was SO HAPPY!!

Same, but it was the fourth grade for me I bragged about them being boys sneakers to my friends, I was so happy about it. I didn't get teased, but one of my friends said "So?" and something along the lines of wearing her brother's sneakers all the time.

Back in the olden days , erm, I mean the 60s, wearing boy's clothing was not common (unless you were a hippie teenager, where the parents complained they couldn't tell boys from girls!!).  Thank G*D for the 70s when we could convince our parents times had changed, and Pant Suits (hideous!!) were in!!  At first we could only wear pants on gym days.  Then on days with temps below 10 degrees.  And finally when we bought our own clothes.  Then, for me, it was Levis and plaid shirts and docksiders. 

Quote from: trapthavok on August 19, 2008, 08:32:43 PM

Quote from: Elwood on August 19, 2008, 05:34:55 PMThere was actually a point in my life where I liked dresses and to be girly. I don't think it's got a thing to do with being a man, with all these fabulous cross dressers running around. Gay men are highly effeminate, so I don't think they're any less of a man for appreciating those sorts of things. Now you wouldn't catch me dead in a dress, but only because it affects how well I pass. I think if I was a bio male that I'd enjoy cross dressing. Does that mean I'll wear dresses after transition? Probably not. I'll never be a bio male who's manly enough to pull that off.

I think for me, that "I like wearing girl clothes" stage in my life was when I was 6 and under. I almost tried to force myself to start liking dresses recently so I don't think I honestly liked them..I just tried to learn to live with them.

I don't care anymore though, I'll dress how I like and that doesn't involve dressing like a girl. Hah. I'm probably off topic, so I'll just say this to ya emoboi: Be assertive if you don't like dressing a certain way. When I go shopping with mom, I usually wander off into the guys section and come back with what I like, but I can do that cause my sister usually comes too and my mom and sister get along great shopping. In your case I'd just say be assertive, say "mom this is what I like, please don't make me wear things I don't." and be done with it.

In reality, clothes are not gendered. A man does not have a natural aversion to skirts. All of that is social.

Quote from: sneakersjay on August 19, 2008, 08:45:26 PMI never liked girl's clothes EVER, though I wore them my entire life.  Why I didn't allow myself to shop in the men's department, even when women's clothes did NOT fit my body (I have no natural waistline, built straight like a guy).  I hate the fabrics women's clothes are made out of, I hate how flimsy they are, I hate how impractical they are.  As a kid I was forced to wear dresses, and I tried to figure out ways to wear pants to school.  I remember my mother letting me buy boy's sneakers when I was in 3rd grade and I was SO HAPPY!!  And I didn't care that I got teased about them on the playground.

I went through phases where I tried to be a good woman and would buy nicer/dressier clothes, but they didn't fit me or my personality and I couldn't pull them off.  I felt fake and gross.

Very comfortable now.  Looking forward to buying my first suit and tie after top surgery!

Jay

Then you weren't buying very good clothes. I know of a lot of girl's clothes that are of great quality and are practical. Because of my body structure, a lot of it works better for me. I've had to search for a very long time to find boy's clothes that fit me.

Girl's cloths Practical?  lol  not even their measurements are practical.   

Yes lets go wear some flimsy to tight girl gloves to keep hand's warm and be 'pretty'.  Oh crap the guys gloves are actually insulated!

Lets go wear high heels so can be pretty but can't run and so we can damage our feet.  So now we have to get help from the guys who have no such worries because their shoes actually make sense!

Let's see by waist is 40 inches around so I must wear a 18.  While mens if your 40 around you get 40.

Let's go wear a dress so we can look pretty and freeze our legs off.  (least women finally saw some common sense on that one)

Really, most the womens cloths have found are designed to look nice, not be practical.  Yeh there are some, expecially now but women still get stuck with this wearing stuff impractical just to look nice.

Really only reason you might say they fit you better is because their one practical thing is their designed for a woman's body shape.  Not a mans.  If your shapped like a man then womens won;t fit correctly if your shaped like a woman then mens won't

Posted on: August 20, 2008, 12:50:48 PM

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BTW dress thing, I'm not guilty of wearing a dress and freezing legs off, but a kilt yes lol  Least a kilt is warmer

Quote from: Aiden on August 20, 2008, 11:52:43 AMGirl's cloths Practical?  lol  not even their measurements are practical.

Then you're talking about crappy clothes. Not everything that is tailored for the female body is a load of crap for "fashion value." I fit in women's fatigues and flight suits better than men's because I am small.

Quote from: Aiden on August 20, 2008, 11:52:43 AMYes lets go wear some flimsy to tight girl gloves to keep hand's warm and be 'pretty'.  Oh crap the guys gloves are actually insulated!

Except not all girl's clothes are like that. And I got girl's gloves for biking because they actually fit my hand. I know some guys who do that too because they like a more uniform fit rather than something that's baggy. And my mother has women's drivers gloves that are some of the best gloves I've ever seen. They are insulated.

Quote from: Aiden on August 20, 2008, 11:52:43 AMLets go wear high heels so can be pretty but can't run and so we can damage our feet.  So now we have to get help from the guys who have no such worries because their shoes actually make sense!

Not everything a girl wears is high heels. For instance, I can wear both a woman's or a boy's shoe. For working out, I bought women's athletic shoes because I have a narrow heel. It would be potentially dangerous to buy a boy's athletic shoes just because I "refused" to. I don't want to break my ankle because of some social stigma I have towards a "female cut." In fact, since all athletic shoes are ugly, no one was really able to tell the difference.

Also, women's sandals are quite nice. They are closer to the foot, less bulky, and so I find they catch on things less often.

Quote from: Aiden on August 20, 2008, 11:52:43 AMLet's see by waist is 40 inches around so I must wear a 18.  While mens if your 40 around you get 40.

The numerical system has got nothing to do with the practicality of the clothing.

Quote from: Aiden on August 20, 2008, 11:52:43 AMLet's go wear a dress so we can look pretty and freeze our legs off.  (least women finally saw some common sense on that one)

Except anyone can make that mistake. Men wear shorts in the snow sometimes. There isn't a major difference. Dresses are not practical, but that is not what I had in mind when I was talking about what is practical for my body. I'm not going to buy boy's clothes for exercising or working if they're going to put me in danger just because I'll feel "uncomfortable" in something that is UNISEX in style but female cut. I am not going to deny that I am petite and that I'm loaded with estrogen and that this is the way my body is. When I start taking T and my body fills out, I won't need to wear female cut things anymore.

Female cut is not just a "slim style to look smooth and sexy." They're things like shin guards that will stay on and goggles that won't fall off your face and gloves that won't get sucked into a table saw and a jacket that won't catch the wind and blow me down the street. I am not the only petite guy in the world who sometimes has to be practical with his shopping-- which sometimes includes buying clothes that don't come in men's sizes.

Quote from: Aiden on August 20, 2008, 11:52:43 AMReally, most the womens cloths have found are designed to look nice, not be practical.  Yeh there are some, expecially now but women still get stuck with this wearing stuff impractical just to look nice.

Then you don't know where to look. I shop in uniform stores pretty often, where clothes are durable and useful. When I buy "normal" clothes, I shop in the boy's department. The only girls stuff I have left is underwear, and I'm probably going to change that today when I go out. I have avoided getting guy's underwear because I fear my structure will not fit with it. We'll find out today, probably.

Quote from: Aiden on August 20, 2008, 11:52:43 AMReally only reason you might say they fit you better is because their one practical thing is their designed for a woman's body shape.  Not a mans.  If your shapped like a man then womens won;t fit correctly if your shaped like a woman then mens won't

It's not that black and white. I am not shaped curvy like a woman, so a lot of boy's clothes fit. However, I am too small to fit a men's. So when I need something that is uniform quality, women's is all I can get. You can't buy heavy duty clothes in children's sizes.

Quote from: Aiden on August 20, 2008, 11:52:43 AM

Posted on: August 20, 2008, 12:50:48 PM

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BTW dress thing, I'm not guilty of wearing a dress and freezing legs off, but a kilt yes lol  Least a kilt is warmer

Except I'd never freeze my legs off, either. I live in fracking California where it doesn't get colder than 70.