I dunno how I'm feeling these days.   Did you feel like this?  did anyone? Does it get better as your GRS day gets closer? how do you cope with the anxiety?  I know I should be ecstatic but the best description I can think of is anxious and scared.  Sorry for the rambling!

Dont fret about things that you dont have any control over. Your GRS day will arrive sooner or later whether you feel anxious or not.  Just try to do the simple things that you can control like planning for it, what youll do whilst youre there, stuff youll need, places youll visit, etc.  Get plenty of sleep. Drink lots of water. Eat nutritious foods low in caffeine and sugar. Fruits are good. Get a little exercise. Light exercise is good. Try to put yourself on a regular schedule where you sleep, eat, and exercise at the same time everyday until the day you leave for Thailand.  Hope this helps & good luck to you!

I became a total control freak, couldn't sit still, etc etc.  I kept myself as busy as possible with trivial things, even if it meant rearranging my living room four times.

It does?

Quote from: Valentina on August 21, 2008, 04:27:58 PM
I dunno how I'm feeling these days.   Did you feel like this?  did anyone? Does it get better as your GRS day gets closer? how do you cope with the anxiety?  I know I should be ecstatic but the best description I can think of is anxious and scared.  Sorry for the rambling!

From what I understand that is not that uncommon of a reaction.

My friends were more excited for me than I was. Perhaps I should have taken that as an indicator about how things would go. I did not become the least bit nervous until I got on the plane. Then it was a lot more real to me.

When I was anticipating my facial surgery, time stopped.  I was like a kid waiting for Christmas.  I was anxious but not that scared.  This was a pretty irreversible step and I kept wondering if I was doing the right thing.  But as the time got closer, the less I worried and the more I anticipated my new face (and other things  )

In contrast, the weeks before my GRS, I was much more relaxed.  By that point I had just about completed everything else in my transition, and this was just the last step.  I did try to plan as much as I could and that took a lot of the worry out of it.

I was totally freaked out with worry about getting through airport security, however.  I had not flown since before 9/11 and I knew that I would set off the alarms because I have quite a bit of metal in my body from an injury.  I was afraid that I would somehow be outed as trans and put on a no-fly list or interogated for hours.

I had nothing to worry about, though.  All my documentation said I was female so there was no way they could have detained me for being something I'm not.  As expected, I did set off the alarms.  I was wanded down with respect by a woman and then sent on my way.  Total time in the security line: 5 minutes.

By time I got on the plane I collapsed from exhaustion from all the worry. 

Valentina, you'll be fine.  Try to identify what is making you anxious.  Once you do that, try to find a way to address your worries.  That sometimes helps me.

And if it is nothing you can do anything about, then try to put it out of your mind.  (yeah, right...)

-Sandy

Any approaching surgery is cause for stress, focusing on other things in your life can help.

I have a question, especially for Valentina and Pia, or anyone else that can help.  How do you figure out the cost of the travel, living arrangement while in Thailand?  I am not ready, by the standards of care, but to be for warned is to be for armed.
Janet

Quote from: Valentina on August 21, 2008, 04:27:58 PM
How do you cope as your GRS day gets closer?

You just take it on day at a time until your birthday arrives .  This is a major,
life-changing surgery; hence, it is only normal to feel that way you do, Valentina. 
In my case, it did get better as the big day approached.  I only made peace with myself the very last week before leaving for my trip to Arizona. 

I felt as if I were going to a foreign galaxy where peace and quiet reigned, far, far away from all the turmoil and pain that had consumed me for many years.  That thought made me feel a lot better, and it certainly mitigated the anxiety quite a bit.  I concur with Pia, coffee is a huge no-no if you are feeling nervous; you could also try some yoga or meditation; it did wonders for me!

All my best to you dear!

*hugs*

tink

Many thanks to all for the marvelous support.  I realised I couldn't change what was coming & stopped fretting.  Thank you Pia & Tink. You're both right.  I need this so much & no amount of last minute worriness is going to be worse than living in a male body. I'm overjoyed already Thank you.

I was too busy freaking out about the 22 hour travel time to worry about SRS.