My name is Michelle.  I am a 28 year old CD.  I'm married with 3 kids.  I've been married for 8 years but just told my wife last year.  We've talked a little about it, but I believe I am still in denial about who I really am and so makes the conversation a little more difficult.

I've been to the chat rooms a couple times, so I thought I would give the forum a shot.

Welcome!
Michelle

We all have gone through that denial\confusion stage you made the right move talking about that should only severe to clarify who you really are just remember to try your best to be honest within yourself and you'll see clarity come out of confusion!

Much luv,
CHYNNA

Quote from: michelles on June 01, 2006, 09:19:25 AM
My name is Michelle.  I am a 28 year old CD...

Hi Michelle! And welcome to the forum!

There's so much great info here... and so many wonderfully warm and caring people... methinks you're gona love it

Quotebut I believe I am still in denial about who I really am...

Do you mean you're still in denial about being a crossdresser? Or do you suspect you might be a transsexual?

Hi Michelle,
Glad to meet you.
I also have a family and even grandchildren.
To come out of denial you will need to begin to open yourself up to new possibilities.
One of the best ways I know to do that is to express your feelings to others.
Susan's is a great place to do that. I have actually did some journaling here and it has help me to sort out allot.
Also you should find a consoler if you don't have one. To have a flesh and blood person to talk to really helps.
Welcome Michelle,


Jillieann

Welcome to Susan's, Michelle!

This is a great place to visit if you're looking to learn about any kind of transgender behaviour.  I started reading the posts here at Susan's about nine months ago and I joined as a member last December.  I've benefitted a great deal and have grown immeasurably from my association with the wonderful group that posts here and I hope you'll do the same.  The support, experience and wisdom that I've found here is unparalled when I compare it to any other place, real or virtual.  The forums are wonderful and the rest of the site (especially the WIKI!) is very valuable also.  The site rules are easy to read and follow, too.

I will look forward to reading more from you.  Feel free to participate when you can and I'm happy to again say, WELCOME!!!   

helen

Thank you all it is nice to have such a warm welcome.

I am in denial about being a crossdresser.  Up until only a couple years ago it was all a sexual thing, but recently I have started to realize it is much deeper then that.  I don't yet understand why, but I am hoping to learn more.  I've been reading things on this site from time to time and thought this might be a good place to start talking.

I would love to find a counselor to talk with but I am not sure how and where to find one.  It would be nice to come to grips with being a crossdresser in order to talk more intelligently about it with my wife.

Quote from: michelles on June 01, 2006, 11:58:21 PM
Thank you all it is nice to have such a warm welcome.

I am in denial about being a crossdresser.  Up until only a couple years ago it was all a sexual thing, but recently I have started to realize it is much deeper then that.  I don't yet understand why, but I am hoping to learn more.  I've been reading things on this site from time to time and thought this might be a good place to start talking.

I would love to find a counselor to talk with but I am not sure how and where to find one.  It would be nice to come to grips with being a crossdresser in order to talk more intelligently about it with my wife.

Wellcome to the club Michelles. I am also strugle with this from time to time. When I let go and be myself I am so much happier. It when I try and control it and I become said.

Wellcome to Susan's.

Alice

Hello Michelle,

I am glad to meet you.  Welcome to Susans!  Here you will find a wealth of valuable information and many new friends. 

I do remember being in denial for several years about being a crossdresser.  I would buy womens clothes then three months later I would purge them away, then go out and buy more.  It was like a vicious cycle for me until I finally accepted who I really was inside as a person.  For me crossdressing started out as a sexual thing, but as I have gotten older its now much more of a sensual thing rather than sexual.  I have not talked to a councelor yet.  I have finally made peace with myself and I have learned to accept who I really am inside.  I am a much happier person because of it.  Talking to a councelor would have made things a whole lot easier for me if only I had one earlier so I encourage you to find a good councelor that can help you.  When you do find one, be sure to keep us updated as I am sure your experiences can help others on this site including me. 

I will be looking forward to reading more from you.  Again, Welcome to Susans!   

Hugs,

Shannon

Quote from: michelles on June 01, 2006, 11:58:21 PMI would love to find a counselor to talk with but I am not sure how and where to find one.  It would be nice to come to grips with being a crossdresser in order to talk more intelligently about it with my wife.

When I began to look for a gender specializing counselor I simply did a Google search on "Gender Therapy in Western New York"  (Most regular therapists have little or no experience with transgendered people).  I contacted the one I found and got started.  I was lucky, though, to get a good one right from the start.  I'm not sure but I think Susan's links pages may have some national lists.

You can also search the web for transgender support groups.  You may find a local one that might have some resource lists available or just an e-mail address to which you can send a question.

The yellow pages, believe it or not, might also work if you live in a major metropolitan area.

Good luck, Michelle.  I think finding a knowledgeable person to speak to about these issues is one of the most important things you can do.

helen

Hi michelles
Welcome to the Forum
Be sure to check the Main Page if you need a link.

QuoteI don't yet understand why, but I am hoping to learn more.

I dont think anyone could ever explane  the Why,  i just know that for me it is undeniable.  and i contnue to look for the answer.
like Alice it is much better when i let go and be myself.

KateAlice

It took me a few years to find the answer to Why.

For me, at least, the answer is to be true to myself.

Robyn


Posted at: June 02, 2006, 09:13:29 PM

---

Michelle, I just put a link at the Medical/Health Services folder in Suasan's Links area.  It is called Kindred Spirits - Resources page and is a list by state of support groups, gender counselors, and medical doctors other than SRS surgeons. 

The list is compiled by an Intersex activist friend of mine with whom I've shared a room at some transgender conferences. 

The basic web site (Kindred Spirits Lakeshide) has pages full of all kinds of good info, including birth certificate and driver's licence gender marker changes, SRS surgeons, papers and articles.

I also uploaded the birth certificate link to Tansitioning/Legal Services as a Kindred Spirits title, too.

Robyn

Thank you for the therapist information.  I will do some research and hopefully find one that will work for me.  At this point for me I know that I need to talk to someone.  The past month or so I have been on an emotional rollercoaster and I would like to understand a little bit more why.

Hi Michelle,

I am also 28 years old and have been married for 8 years and have 2 kids.  I am transsexual MTF currently in transition.  I came out last October and at the time, I wasn't very sure about the differences between CD and TS.  I just knew I was transgendered (umbrella term).  After finding out more information, I cam eto realize I was TS.  I'm just mentioning that in case you may be in the same boat and more in denial than you realize.  Only you and a therapist can determine exactly where you fall.  Just ask yourself this: Are you happy being male or do you wish you were female all the time?

Melissa

welcome michelle!!!!!!!!!
JADED

I do not rule out the possibility of me being a TS, I guess that is part of why I want to talk with a therapist about it.  There have been times in my life that I did want to live as a woman, but at this point in my life I believe that I am happy as a man.  I suspect that with my confusion/denial the truth of what I want will take a while to figure out.

I fought hard as _____ to not be what I am.
And even to this day still at times wish I was "normal" <- like there is such a thing!
I would not personal recommend this "lifestyle" to anyone. It takes a lot to be transgender &\or transition. A lot of patient, courage, determination and a strong will...Not to mention a lot of money (Kaching$)
But for all that said nothing beats being & knowing who you truly are!
But, all my life experiences as bought me to the enivitable conclusion that I AM and always have been A Woman at heart & mind.

Just a few pros & cons of being transgendered!

Chynna

Hi Michelle,
I am a 60+ crossdresser, married for 35+ years.  For many years I was also in denial, telling myself that the desire to crossdress was something that I'd get over or outgrow.  I know the emotional rollercoaster as well.  Finding a counselor is good advice.  Actually finding anyone who you can talk to is good.  Non-professional conversations can be a good way to get things off your chest and to sort out your thoughts.  They are no substitute for counseling for real psychological problems like depression, but they can help to get off the emotional rollercoaster.
Louise

Hi there Michelle,
                         Welcom to Susan's. I am a 47 year old TG. I have been in and out of womens cloths for much of my life. Only just recently I have opened up a little. I keep my body shaved now. I have a few womens cloths that I mostly wear in the house as I am not that confident yet. I am working towards being female some day. I always had a more feminine approch to things in my life. But I mostly had to live much of it as a male. That is I had to keep my feminine side of me hidden in the deep recesses of my mind. I always was a loner never had much guy friends. I used to get quite emotional about things the way a woman would and I wondered why I got that way. As I got older it came to me that maybe I was meant to be female. Oh i would play with toy cars as a young boy because it was expected of me I followed along. It wasn't untill much later that I had started to have more female related feelings. I stared to shave mybody hair but after a while these feelings went away for ahwile. Now as I am older the female side is coming out and I cannot hide it any longer. So her I am. I'm still trying to figure out just what I am. I think TG or TS. I still dress up as a woman when I can and have a lot of under things and some female cloths. I'm just rambling on here so I'll just stop for now.

Again welcome. Look forward to seeing more posts
Owen
love being female