I am in a little better position than I was before now, I am away from home finally! My mother is apologizing to me, and is nowhere nearly as ticked with me as she was 1 1/2 weeks ago. Now I have a new challenge laid out ahead of me. My SO I moved in with, of whom is supporting of me, is telling me I should just try and focus on college and all, and let things unfold as they do. I know she wants me to be happy, as she as told me. But, I know I can ignore these feelings (at the moment, I'm so exhausted mentally from last week's hell, that I am not feeling that much of anything, including my gender conflict, because I have little energy and am recovering) for a while, and succeed. But, I always know that there is something that will come unexpectedly and brutally remind me, and bring me down again.

I can't keep waiting, and college will be killer for me without at least seeing a therapist. How can I tell my SO that this isn't just something that I can go and "focus on something else", because the conflict is always with me, it's part of everyday life and I can't just not "feel the conflict". It's just THERE.

I found that I couldn't even go to class before I had my issues worked out.  I took two years off school to get my transition underway.  Now that I pass the majority of the time and am comfortable with my appearance I will be able to concentrate and study this fall without stressing too much about my GID.  Don't get my wrong I still have the occasional bad day, but I can live through it.

Audrey

I can go out in public just fine as far as it goes. I'm actually not to scared of that, as I was raised in a very social manner. I just feel like I am stuck in between a rock and a hard place, as I feel I am being forced to continue to live as a male, when I don't know if that is right or not for me.

Audrey, btw, you look great!