Yes, Sensuality...I am a prude too.

Being on HRT made all my senses come alive. I feel deeper on the emotional front and can feel the wind on my body. I do not go into that Black pit of despair like i used to before HRT.

Hmmm, if something does not go my way i still get suicidal thoughts that i can push aside. go figure i thought i would be done with those. whoops tangent.

My problem is my Libido. I have not been in a relationship since my divorce in 2003. Not planning on participating in a relationship right now because 1. I'm a prude. 2. I would sell my soul to the devil to be loved and i still take hostges. giggles another story!

My Sex drive kicks in every 3 months and i feel everything. Sensory overload on the physical and emotional stuff. The one thing that really upset me is i really feel the jealousy and envy when i see couples walking down the street. I just get overwhelmed. I dont know if i'm coming or going (no pun intended) I'm not even going to try to write down the mental crap.

Falling down on the carpet and having a good cry those not help because my body is aching. giggles Sensual. I still only get a couple of tears.

IDK, I'm on the other side of it today. IT HURTS!

I am being grouchy and watching my mouth today.

I have no plans to increase my spiro or Orchi.

I'm insane, I think that being in a relationship would dampen this sensuality. 

bla arg fe alld bla bla blahhh!!!!!!

HMMM

Personally, I am exceptionally good at repression. An I feel that in time....

giggles. I been thinking....

Not going to repress it, denied it or ignore it.

I know that some of the discomfort is me defining my own sexuality. That scares me to my core being.

My doctor told me that all my levels are within range where the should be.. blah, blah, blah. So, i cant fall on that escape route that there is something physically wrong with the Hormones dosage.

Time to drop some pre-conceieved notions about it all and go find out.

Quote from: Robin_p on August 29, 2008, 03:15:52 AM
I know that some of the discomfort is me defining my own sexuality. That scares me to my core being.

Oh ^{*nods nods*} Yes that I understand. I thought I was a good little hetro boy all my life ^*cough*, repressed bi is what I was. Girl, BI, an with "boyfriend" there isn't doubt. Which I suppose is nice. In my case it was easier as I am "mostly" interested in the female of this species and it was easy to flatline the few thoughts related to males. Now, of course, I need not pretend to fit in at all and I stopped repressing such. A weird kettle of fish, but, amusing.

Quote from: Robin_p on August 29, 2008, 03:15:52 AM
My doctor told me that all my levels are within range where the should be.. blah, blah, blah. So, i cant fall on that escape route that there is something physically wrong with the Hormones dosage.

Time to drop some pre-conceieved notions about it all and go find out.

^{*giggles and smiles*} Yes indeed. Just be honest with your self and always be careful of course. Luck dear!

When I first began to consciously deal with being trans, my libido vanished. It stayed away for years.

When it returned, thanks to estrogen, it was absolutely different... as different as can be. No resemblance to the former version. And incomparably more wonderful! The new libido began from the feeling of sensuousness that Robin described so well, the gift of estrogen. I like the new me ever so much better-- I'd rather die than go back to the way I used to be.

I'd try to separate the physical sensuality from the psychological/sexual type for a better grasp on this subject.

We ARE talking sensuality here...right?

Physically, I am more acutely aware of my body..although the jiggles are a little less sensual right now. I feel the butt and boobs, but they have shrunk to a low of feeling self-erotic, if you follow my drift. I just don't seem to turn myself "on" any more. I'm gaining a little more thigh dimension and still losing some weight, which is good even though I am not overweight in the slightest.

The nipple tingles are there and I get the erectile reaction, but it seems to be almost a non-event any more. That may just be acceptance though and less "wow" factor as I settle into a normalcy of my female form nowadays.

Mentally, the libido is pretty low...I can still pleasure myself....but the desire is less of a need than it is a calendar event right now.

I firmly believe that sensuality has a lot to do with self image, perceptions of worth, social value and placement in the food chain with ability to possess confidence in gender presentation being primary to anyone's self-esteem. As such and not with much equivocation, I feel very well accepted and acceptable in person by every one I meet or know.

So...as I see it...SENSUALITY has many more than just a few facets and might be more complicated than "Are you TS" or questions of motivation to someone who buys a tattoo on a payment plan.