Clowns to the left of me

http://difficulty.wordpress.com/2008/08/29/clowns-to-the-left-of-me/
8/29/2008

I do not look after it. This is for a few reasons. Firstly i am not sure what i want from it. Do i want to be the skinny girl shape? Will that even work with my basic male shape? Do i want to be a skinny effeminate male? Do i want to be a fit, moderately muscular young bi man? The latter is the easiest for me to active. I have been fit before and i know what i can do to regain it.

When going through puberty i was very fit. Always doing things and getting out and about. Not actively getting fit, it was more a by-product of me having fun. As a result i was a fairly attractive male growing up. Then i threw this upon myself. I though that i was not meant to be that so i relapsed. I stopped everything. I sat and did nothing to avoid looking so male.