Quote from: Jordan on September 01, 2008, 05:04:36 AM
Barbie, I have a question you dont have to answer...
Are you sure you are a Cross Dresser? How do you Know?
What exactly made you come to that conclusion? Why do you feel that way?
Hi, Jordan,
Thanks for replies and questions.
I am a crossdresser because I crossdress. I think crossdressing is a behaviour whereas transsexualism is a state of mind. Of course, I have had transsexualism since childhood, but I could confine it.
In retrospect, I was sexually attracted to a certain type of women, a certain area of body and other fashion accessories. For example, I had strong fetishism on legs and their accessories. In my 40s, I reazlied that I was actually attracted to myself. Those legs to which I strongly attached were actually my legs. When I happened to first wear silk stockings, all guys there said my legs are as much beautiful as hosiery models. I think I am a kind of narcissist, and sexually attracted to women who resemble me.
I am also a kind of Freudian. I think sex or libido is a driving force for humna life. In my case, I can crossdress because I still have health and power. Power means both physical and social power. Crossdressing stire my libido and I can become a little bit excited, ready for work, research and social. If I can not corssdress, I become rather depressed.
Fortunately or not, I have had rather feminine body since my adolescence. I look plain in men's dress, but can be outstanding in women's dress. I remember that a few guys including my contemporary strangely fondled me when I was teens, but it was never related with sex.
I remember that I was sexually attracted to two men in my life time. The first was my classmate at my teens, and that feeling was so strong compared with love with women. It did not last long, but I fell in love at that time. To my eyes, he looked ike a beautiful woman or feminine boy, although he was certainly heterosexual. He once said to me that he sometimes wore makeup of her sister. I guess that the guys who like me probably feel the same from me.
In any case, I think I am close to hetersexual crossdresser.
Barbie~~