I sometimes call myself 'she' in my mind, just out of habit. I've been trying to correct myself, but I just can't seem to settle on a name that I can call myself instead of my birth name.

Yet, I sometimes find myself unnecessarily surprised when I call myself 'he' or 'man' or 'boy' in my mind unconsciously. I'm happy at those moments, because it confirms that my unconscious mind knows what I am.

I hate the gender boxes. If it's for something unofficial, like a website, I check male, but for official records, I hold my breath and check female, then cover it up with a paper or a pencil so I don't have to look at the horrible mark. It should be a law to have an 'other' box or something like it on all forms.

I have never really thought of myself as "she" and have always referred to myself as male in my head, my only problem is I wish other people would use male pronouns 100% of the time when speaking to me or about me, the people I am out to do at times but even they slip up far too frequently and have to be gently reminded , other people I have to explain the  situation too which can become exceedingly disheartening.  I at least wish they would use gender neutral pronouns.