For most of the day I was at my brothers condo helping him pack up and donate stuff to goodwill.
When I got there, I started dropping hints that I want to tell him something.
He is the only family member I have not came out to. Except my
dad sperm donor looser 50's era throwback, no support here you aren't getting it from me because I'm a cheap tightwad, so called parent.
Before we did all that, (the donating) we went to get something to eat and come back.
When we came back, I pretty much told him: I know you've been honest about your sexuality, (he's gay and open) and I have to give you credit being honest about yourself, but there is something I have to wipe my hands clean of. (note: think of the box art to the game
Fahrenheit, or the character Gorrister from the game
I Have no Mouth and I Must Scream)
I'm trans.
At that time I was thinking all sorts of stupid sh*t, I was thinking he would say something hurtful, officially demoting me permanently to status of "black sheep" as if this thoughts would be something like...
QuoteHere, I'll put you on... '~Hellooooo~' That's you! That's how dumb you sound! You've been wrong about every single thing you've ever done, including this thing. You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a full-time employee. Where did your life go so wrong?"
And you know what?
He was OK about it.
His next question was if I liked girls and I said yes, he then asked if I were lesbian and I also said yah too.
I thought he just confused gender identity and sexual orientation so I then did a quick review of the differences, but he was like that's OK you don't have to tell me.
The last question was if I had told mum about all of this and I told him flat out yah, but I haven't told her explicitly that I'm lez because she just hit on stage 3 of the grief process, and I didn't know if she was ready for
that yet.
Not much happened after that, it was as if nothing even happened really. As everything I said meant nothing because
he accepted me.
Sorry for the long post but I feel just stupid for even thinking I would be rejected by my own brother for being who I am, and now that my hands are clean, I think I can start looking a little more forward in life, knowing my closet is that one bit cleaner of the clutter which has plagued me for the last year and a half.
Thanks for reading this,
Rena
