I'm going to a conference this week as Jay.  My plan is to exclusively use the men's room.  Go in, stall, wash hands, get out, no looking at anyone.  The conference should be safe; but I also was considering the airport...

Clearly I'm nervous!!  I'm afraid of being read, since I don't pass all that well (I've only gotten SIR once!!).  My therapist thinks I'll pass fine.  I'm purposely wearing long sleeves as I think my arms are kind of feminine and hairless (and I hope to G*D the AC is on full blast or I'll sweat to death!!).

Any tips?  I have lost 18 pounds since starting T and I think that helps a lot, but I've only been on T for 7.5 weeks.  I did just get a new haircut that on me looks more male than my prev. cut which I think made me look more butch.

I know I have to start somewhere but I'm still nervous!!!  My ID is still female unfortunately, at least until the end of the month.

Jay

Meh. I've been going to school as Dan for a full month. I'll tell ya, it isn't unicorns and rainbows. It doesn't really feel all that largely different... people are people. And passing hasn't really helped with my dysphoria, although it is nice for people not to point things out that remind me of my dysphoria...

Bathroom etiquette isn't a big deal, but from what I know, standing to pee in the stall makes guys think there's something wrong with your penis. That's one reason why I exclusively sit.

As far as the airport, and your id..they're usually only paying attention to the names matching. I still haven't gotten my gender mark changed, out of laziness, and don't get second glances at all. I've stated in a past post, a buddy of mine, bio male, had a F on his license cuz they messed up, and he kept it until it expired.
I still get that anxious feeling when I see people giving me second looks, most of the time I was just to scream "WTF ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!", but I've noticed since I've been on T, I really don't give 2 dumps, cuz I know soon enough I'll have a stach, my body will mold, and I'll just be another guy on the street. Try not to psyche yourself out too much. You've come a long way in a short period of time, take pride in that.

Quote from: GQjoey on September 16, 2008, 05:37:53 PM
As far as the airport, and your id..they're usually only paying attention to the names matching. I still haven't gotten my gender mark changed, out of laziness, and don't get second glances at all. I've stated in a past post, a buddy of mine, bio male, had a F on his license cuz they messed up, and he kept it until it expired.
I still get that anxious feeling when I see people giving me second looks, most of the time I was just to scream "WTF ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!", but I've noticed since I've been on T, I really don't give 2 dumps, cuz I know soon enough I'll have a stach, my body will mold, and I'll just be another guy on the street. Try not to psyche yourself out too much. You've come a long way in a short period of time, take pride in that.

Aren't you in CA? Changing the gender here is so, so easy.  It's really in your best interest to have good, solid ID.

When officials ask for identification I try to pass as a lesbian or something. They're never going to see me again anyway.

Quote from: Elwood on September 16, 2008, 05:40:18 PM
When officials ask for identification I try to pass as a lesbian or something. They're never going to see me again anyway.

I only show ID when ID is actually required, not when it's simply requested.  It's not a legal obligation to carry identification, unless you happen to be in a bar.

Yea, I know Mister. Like I said, I'm a lazy fool, and HATEEEEEEEEE public transportation. It's a pain taking it all over, and I work 40 hrs a week. Those are just excuses, I'll eventually get it done. Funny story -

When I went to renew my license in early May, I filled out all the paperwork and put M for gender. Go up to the counter with my old id, and hand the guy my papers. He starts typing the info in to the computer then says "There's a problem.." and looks at me with confused eyes. I'm like "Yeah...?". Instead of just TELLING ME, he wanted me to guess, saying "Something isn't matching up.." again looking at me, weird. I say "Yeah?" again, and he just hands me back the paperwork saying "Your name isn't matching our records". Really? Cuz I had my name change done almost 10 years ago, so how is THAT possible. What he really meant was, your GENDER doesn't match, but for whatever reason didn't want to say it. I took the paper back, scribbled all over it, and checked F, whatever. Next time I go in to get my shot, I'm gonna ask for the paperwork to change it.

Make sure they say that your transition is complete, not transitional.  If they say it's transitional, you'll have to reaffirm your maleness with the DMV periodically- every five years, I think.

I can get the paperwork that's needed from the clinic i get my shots done at, right?

Sorry Jay, not trying to take over your thread.

Jay, you're far more ballsy than I am.  I still haven't been able to go into the men's room in public even though i don't get "femaled" anymore.  And holy moly dude how have you lost 18 pounds?  I GAINED 18 pounds.

Everyone says to walk in confident and minding your own business and nobody will notice.  Take a deep breath, march in... do your business and march out.  But this is coming from a guy who has been in a men's room only a dozen times or so.

Thing is, I know I'm not going to be able to hold it and not use the restrooms.  And the last time I used public bathrooms I got a lot of weird looks and I wasn't even on T.  I was in the South and I looked pretty butch, so I figured that was it.  At the conference we'll have nametags and mine will say Jay, because that's how I registered.  I'm kinda nervous but excited at the same time.  I figure I'll just have to be confident and act like I belong there.  It will just totally suck if I chicken out and use the ladies' room.

I'd better go to bed though cuz I have to get up at 2:30am.

Jay

i always use family restrooms. 

what kind of a conference is it?

I used the unisex restroom at the movie theaters this weekend just to f**k with people  It's kinda like the family restroom except it SAYS unisex.

My recommendation is to use my method!! Wear a hat at all times It makes you look either more masculine or ambiguous enough to be seen as a man. But I'm gonna go with "it makes you look more masculine" even though I haven't seen a picture of you since you started T!

Do a baseball cap thing especially, if you can.