If you can remember that far back, what kind of things did you "experience" with as a child/kid?

I used to lock myself in my parents walk in closet around 4-5 years old, and put on my dads suits. They didn't fit my 3 ft frame too well, but I'd sit in there for hours wrapping ties around my neck. I also used to rub his old spice cologne all over my body thinking it'd make me grow hair. Sometimes I miss being that lil kid.

Hm. When I was very young, I was androgynous, but on occasion would take on the male role in playing with my friends. Most often, I'd take an androgynous role, and tell myself, "at least I didn't have to be a girl again." My earliest experiences of cross-gender experimentation involved packing at around 8 or 9 years old (yes, I'm sure many of you will hoot at how late I was, please, let's not have a contest). I'd only pack in private, though, and never wear it out in public... I don't know why I did it, considering later I had an aversion to the idea. Now here I am again sitting with my packy (no, my good one hasn't come in the mail yet).

I too would mess with cologne. But I've always liked that smell. I don't think it had anything to do with "being a boy."

I don't remember much before I was ten--rather, it's all disjointed and confused--but sometime before I developed up top, I have a very vivid memory of standing on the toilet looking at myself in the mirror. I was wearing jean shorts and no shirt (I think I was in the middle of changing clothes) and I pulled my hair back so it looked real short, puffed my chest out, and thought to myself, "I could pass as a boy." The thought made me feel rather joyful and smug.

From kindergarten to second grade, my friends were exclusively male. One time, my best friend wanted to play some game (looking back, I think it might've had something to do with erections, but I really have no idea) that required a penis. When I realized this, I felt rather bad, left out... My friend noticed and even tried to "make" me a cock out of paper so I could play, but I refused... it just wasn't the same. A couple years later, that same friend wanted to take a bath together (to play in the tub--he was more a brother than a friend by then). When I realized his mom meant to undress us before we got in, I backed out; I knew he had something I didn't, and didn't want to face our differences outright.

I always felt rather inadequate with my male friends. They were bigger, faster, stronger, cooler, never faltered, never backed out of anything. It's like I was always one step behind because I was The Girl.

My childhood was kind of lame.

I used to stand on the toilet seat, and pee straight down. I guess it was easier to me back then, then just SITTING DOWN. My mom caught me, I was about 5. She still remembers, and said that's when she knew I was "different". I know what you mean about baths though. My mom made my brother and I, he was 3 years older, take baths together all the time. I remember wondering why I didn't have what he did, then praying at night, on my hands and knees, to wake up with a body like his. At that age, I really thought god granted wishes like a genie. Still haven't woken up to that one 
I always hung out "with the boys" growing up. Played boys baseball, was better than 90% of them, my dad loved it, but I was bullied by other boys because of it. Never stopped me. I remember when I was 12, my brother had a group of his friends over to play football. One of his friends, kept making fun of him, for having "me" on his team, as I was a "girl". That friend, got the ball, I literally picked him up, off the ground, and pummeled him back into the ground.  They all stood around him, laughing, and pointing saying "dude his sister kicked you @#$!". It was a riot.

I got 4 brothers. there aint girls in my family. only my mom. my bro Mikey & me used to play 'barber'. steal my old mans shavin cream & stuff & lock in the bathroom. take turns & 'shave' our face    he'd wake up in the morning. look 4 his shavin stuff & the damn thing'd be empty   yep I miss my bro Mikey he's my favorite bro b/c we're 'bout the same age.

I remember hanging around with my best mate Jayde and playing imaginative games where we where the guys and we had girl friends and we where rock stars and we would walk around in our guy clothes (normally my dads) and just be two dudes together. I remember shaving my face with her and wearing her dads aftershave having water fights with just our boxers on. At school having lots of male friends maybe one or two female mates playing football tag and rounders together or just chilling out.. from what I can remember no one once said "eh we dont want that "girl" They where always keen to pick me because I was a damn good footballer!

Quote from: Elwood on September 17, 2008, 11:05:52 PM
Hm. When I was very young, I was androgynous, but on occasion would take on the male role in playing with my friends. Most often, I'd take an androgynous role, and tell myself, "at least I didn't have to be a girl again."

What's an androgynous role? In that context I mean. I didn't even know about androgyny back then.

Quote from: Elwood on September 17, 2008, 11:05:52 PM
My earliest experiences of cross-gender experimentation involved packing at around 8 or 9 years old (yes, I'm sure many of you will hoot at how late I was, please, let's not have a contest). I'd only pack in private, though, and never wear it out in public... I don't know why I did it, considering later I had an aversion to the idea.

That's not late lol. Well, I dunno cause I never did it. Did you get relief from it then?


Re: original question -

I didn't really play sports or anything. Mostly just a lot of roleplaying. It was the only relief I got - having everyone pretend I was such and such male character.

Quote from: Nero on September 18, 2008, 07:29:56 AM

Quote from: Elwood on September 17, 2008, 11:05:52 PMHm. When I was very young, I was androgynous, but on occasion would take on the male role in playing with my friends. Most often, I'd take an androgynous role, and tell myself, "at least I didn't have to be a girl again."

What's an androgynous role? In that context I mean. I didn't even know about androgyny back then.

Just "a person." Of course I didn't know the word "androgyne," but I understood the concept well in my own mind. I'd try to be characters who were genderless/sexless.

Quote from: Nero on September 18, 2008, 07:29:56 AM

Quote from: Elwood on September 17, 2008, 11:05:52 PMMy earliest experiences of cross-gender experimentation involved packing at around 8 or 9 years old (yes, I'm sure many of you will hoot at how late I was, please, let's not have a contest). I'd only pack in private, though, and never wear it out in public... I don't know why I did it, considering later I had an aversion to the idea.

That's not late lol. Well, I dunno cause I never did it. Did you get relief from it then?

I really don't know. I think I did. It was somewhat thrilling. Not sexually, just emotionally.

On the subject of playing characters: We would act out our favorite video games (usually Final Fantasy VII). My best friend always got to be Cloud, my other boy friend got to be Vincent, and I always had to be Tifa. They made me switch to Aerith when it was time for her to be killed, and my friend would switch to Sephiroth and "kill" me by jumping out of his tree fort with a wooden sword in imitation of the game. I was always glad to get back to being Tifa, maybe because I thought she was rather more of a tomboy (which is what I labeled myself back then--I ALWAYS avoided using the word "girl" in reference to myself, opting instead for "kid", "person", or "tomboy"). Sometimes I'd switch to being Red XIII for the hell of it, but no one thought that was weird, 'cause he isn't human.

All I know is that I hated dressing up.  As soon as I got home from church since age 3 I'd run and throw off my dress and tights and put on pants with no shirt, like my older brother did.

As a child, I loved wrestling.  My brother and I would set up wrestling rings and pick our favorite wrestlers and wrestle.  I always picked Shawn Michaels or Edge hahah

I remember as a little kid I used to fight being put in a dress.  I did cry though.

I played with one girl around 6 years old, but rest of childhood before and after it was with boys.  Used to have water fights and watch superman and batman and ninja turtles.  Didn't really have to many friends though just one or 2 lived around most the time.

I remember playing in the dirt with gummy bears as well lol.  There was a brief time was into mermaids.  But seems like long time ago because I eventually tore all my little mermaid stuff down and destroyed it.  And Barney... yuck.

I think about 7 or 8 was into Highlander and used to play out sword fights with my guy friends and pretend to be Immortals lol.  Used to play fight and got into playing Indians as well and would climb trees, dress up in rags and yell out Indian war cries across the woods to communicate.  Even did howling when we were into werewolves and vampires.  I still have some interest in many of these things except little mermaid and Barney of course.  And still enjoy dressing up in costumes. 

I also remember camping and wrestling with my father, sometimes wonder if he remembers, and hope he doesn't blame himself for how I am.  Wasn't his fault, I was happy as a boy till was forced to be a girl.

Yeh I know getting sentimental like a girl lol

A dress doesn't have an instinctual assigned gender. There is no innate response to it. It's entirely social. So no, when I was younger, I posed no objection to being "who I was supposed to." I was assigned that role. Rather than throwing a tantrum, I did as I was told until I was older and was smart enough to understand decision making.

Yeh interestingly I hated dresses when was younger, still don't much care for wearing them but I'll wear a kilt lol, or a tunic

I avoided dresses as a child more due to the fact that I didn't want anyone to look at my underwear than because I didn't like them. I'm convinced that if I'd been born right, I'd wear feminine clothing at least some of the time, not to mention accessories. The only reason I don't do that now is because my face and body don't need any help being feminine, and I don't want to be perceived that way. If I was inherently masculine, I'd want to femme up a bit; since I'm inherently feminine, I do the masculine thing right now. Sometimes I wonder whether I'm just a really masculine-leaning genderqueer.

I think another reason I didn't want to wear dresses is because in a dress, I couldn't do all the running, climbing, bike riding, and stuff that my friends did. My mom seemed to understand this and only made me wear dresses for pictures and special occasions. She adamantly refused to let me have short hair, though. When I moved back to LA when I was eleven, my best friend's mom (this is the same friend I mentioned before) took me to get my hair cut behind my mom's back. I donated to Locks of Love and I haven't had my hair past my shoulders since. It's a sore spot with my mom, but we talked about it recently and she said, "It's just... you." She's finally, after seven years, come to accept that I will never grow it out again. When I was a younger teen, every time I came in after a haircut, she'd either call me a boy or a dyke. Dyke stung more than boy, but boy hurt too, simply because the way she said it, it was an insult.

And that was my reason as well. I hardly wore dresses because I was an active kid. But I didn't have shame in it. I wore skirts up into high school (although not very often). I even still have a skirt that I haven't let go of yet. I don't know. Maybe I want to see how I look in a skirt after I've transitioned. Lol.

Once I started middle school I got really into the short-skirt-fishnets/stockings-big-chunky-boots look. I wore hoodies, though--I was never comfortable with any kind of shirt that emphasized my chest. Once my best friend told his mom I looked like a slut. Pissed me off, and I think it was around then that I stopped caring what others said. In high school I got into a sort of abusive/unhealthy relationship, and was forced to quit wearing the kind of clothes I liked. I dressed androgynously/masculine-ish for about three years. Then after that was over I bought a couple of dresses and some stockings and wore them occasionaly, but it became too much trouble eventually and I stopped wearing them altogether after the first time I actually "cross-dressed" (dressed completely male).

I'm certainly not getting rid of any of my dresses or skirts. I like them! If they still fit, I'll probably try them out during/after transition. If not I'll probably buy some more. I may be a boy, but that doesn't mean I have to give up everything feminine. Besides, skirts for girls and pants for boys never made sense to me. Shouldn't boys wear skirts and girls wear pants? You'd think boys would want more room down there. I know I would.

when I was little I would get mad when people called me by my birth name.  I started using a boys name when I was about 6.  I remember every night I went to bed I would pray to God to give my the right body.  I would also wish on every shooting star and at every birthday that I would become a boy.  I always hung out with the boys and had girlfriends.  I chased girls on the play ground and they chased me.  I think most of my friends and most of the girls thought that I was a boy, because at that age if someone looks like a boy then kids usually go with it.  I loved being a kid though. 

Hm. I don't pray, since I don't believe in God, but I did wish pretty often that I'd somehow "mutate" into a boy. I wished that I was a special kind of intersexed (no, I didn't know what it was called back then).

As a really young kid, I mostly just pretended to be animals.

When I got into elementary school, I was friends with a couple of boys. Mostly we played Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles or fighter pilots. (You had to play fighter pilots on the swing set. If you got shot, you had to throw yourself off from as high as you could and then writhe around in the dirt and yell "I'm hit!")

(For the record, I did make friends with some girls after I got over the "girls are boring" stage.)

Later on, I remember really, really hoping that puberty just wouldn't take, or that I'd turn out to be intersex or something.

Growing up most of my friends were boys and I loved doing stuff like climbing trees and making dens although I did go through a stage of liking My Little Pony lol but then so did my brother.  I grew up with my brother we were really close and I was always more of a brother to him than a sister,in fact it would be fair to say I was way more daring than him as a kid. 
I did like being a kid but I hated puberty with a passion I remember trying to hide my chest in baggy jumpers and just totally freaking out and feeling totally weirded out when I got my period, it just didn't feel right.
I always felt like I was kind of cross dressing whenever I wore female clothes, my mother would get me into some awful creations when I was growing up and we used to have awful fights over my hair which was really long.  She kept insisted on putting it in these ridiculous styles with bows and all that shizz and I absolutely detested it, I fought her all the way lol.
I much preferred wearing jeans or cords and a sweatshirt, shirt or jumper and never would have chosen to wear dresses or skirts if it hadn't have been for my mother or because of school uniform regulations.
I don't really regret anything though hey it's all life experience and it's definately made me the person I am now.  I just wish I had realised sooner cos I would have been a lot more comfortable with myself and wouldn't have gone through years of hell. 
There should definately be more education on this kind of stuff made available to kids going through a similar sort of thing I know it would have helped me for sure.